Talk:Jethro Sumner/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Dank (talk · contribs) 02:16, 26 June 2013 (UTC)

Review
 * The toolbox checks out.
 * I recommend replacing "Sumner" with "he" throughout, if "he" wouldn't be ambiguous in paragraphs where you've already mentioned Sumner once and where "he" wouldn't be ambiguous.
 * Done - Although my definition of ambiguous might be different than yours.


 * "William Smallwood a Continental Army general": William Smallwood, a Continental Army general
 * Done


 * "long arms": Either link to long gun or say what kind of long arms they were.
 * Done - changed to "guns".


 * "After the death of General Francis Nash, then in command of the North Carolina Brigade, at Germantown,": After the death at Germantown of General ...
 * Done


 * "Assemby": sp
 * Done.


 * "resigned after Brandywine due to charges of cowardice that had been leveled against him": I believe WP:Checklist is relevant here. "resigned after charges of cowardice were leveled against him". Per WP:Checklist, I believe most readers will assume this came after Brandywine ... but if the charges first came during Brandywine, it would be fine to say that.
 * Done - Took your suggestion


 * "to urge for Sumner's promotion": "to lobby for Sumner's promotion" or "to urge them to promote Sumner" would work
 * Done - "to nominate Sumner for promotion" is more accurate


 * "Due to his leave of absence, Sumner was not present at the Siege of Savannah in September and October 1779, which was a disaster for the Continental Army.": Sumner was on a leave of absence in September and October 1779 during the Siege of Savannah, which was a disaster for the Continental Army.
 * Done


 * "decimated": This is a "skunked" word, that is, a word made useless because people insist on using it to mean completely different things (reduced by a tenth vs. annihilated)
 * Done - I even know that word is incorrect in usage of the sort, but it instinctively comes out when I'm writing.


 * "that State" (x2): the state
 * Done - that's my attorney designatory language coming out, where every pronoun has to be replaced by a reflexive pronoun or demonstrative adjective, so that the meaning is clear.


 * "once again fallen ill, began to slack off": "slack off" is informal, and was he really slacking off? Would it be enough to say that he failed to report to Greene for several months at a time?
 * Done - removed the slacking off portion. Don't know why that was used.  That was toward the end of my marathon improvement session, I must have been tired.


 * "Post-war, death, and legacy": "post-war" (or postwar) is an adjective according to the usual dictionaries, not an adverb or noun
 * Done


 * "a monument that was part of a plan to create a": Would "a monument intended as a ..." or "a monument designed as a ..." work?
 * Done - "A monument designed as..."


 * Otherwise:
 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * - Dank (push to talk) 04:13, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * - Dank (push to talk) 04:13, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
 * - Dank (push to talk) 04:13, 26 June 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for your review,, and for your many constructive edits!  Cdtew  (talk) 13:25, 26 June 2013 (UTC)

Passed. I can tell you're rapidly getting better at this, which is more than enough compensation for me. - Dank (push to talk) 13:45, 26 June 2013 (UTC)