Talk:Jiraiya (Naruto)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: 1ST7 (talk · contribs) 01:20, 13 October 2013 (UTC)

I'll review this nomination. Initial comments should be posted soon. --1ST7 (talk) 01:20, 13 October 2013 (UTC)

Here's the review: I'll put the article on hold for a week to give you time to address these issues. Thanks for your work on this! --1ST7 (talk) 05:01, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) Well-written
 * The biggest issue with the way the article is written is that it doesn't really comply with Manual of Style/Writing about fiction. The discussion of the character should be told from a nonfictional perspective, but this article is written mostly in an in-universe form. It needs more secondary information, such as a section detailing the creation and conception of the character and perhaps more about its real-world influence.
 * This phrase is somewhat confusing: "Orochimaru when betrayed Konha, Jiraiya pursued him and tried to convince him to return."
 * The wording for this is a little awkward: "Several reviewers for manga, anime, video games, and other related media have provided praise on Jiraiya's character." I would suggest rewording it to something like this: "Several manga, anime, and video game reviewers have praised the character of Jiraiya."
 * In the reception section, it's better not to use the word "note" or any of its variants to describe something a person said, as it is on the Manual of Style/Words to watch list.
 * 1) Verifiable with no original research:
 * Pretty much everything is cited, but the article relies on references to primary sources.
 * 1) Broad in its coverage:
 * See the first point under "well-written".
 * 1) Neutral:
 * 2) Stable:
 * 3) Illustrated, if possible, by images:
 * As it has been a week and no improvements have been made to the article, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fail it. In the meantime, you are welcome to address the issues raised and re-nominate the article in the future. --1ST7 (talk) 03:43, 21 October 2013 (UTC)