Talk:Joe Shield/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator: 16:51, 4 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 04:48, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

I will review this. Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 04:48, 23 May 2024 (UTC)


 * Done; over to you! I like your writing style BTW; it reminds me of a modern version of User:Thebiguglyalien's current writing style for some reason. Template:LunaEatsTunaSig  (talk), posted at 11:48, 25 May 2024 (UTC)

Da review:
 * Early life
 * "In high school, Shield" > "During his time there, Shield" – flows better.
 * I would wikilink most valuable player since it seems relevant enough, but I'll leave it up to you.
 * How about "and helped lead the team to two consecutive appearances in the state championship game, winning in 1978" – sounds better.
 * To better connect the last two sentences change the last one to "He then continued his education and participation in baseball and football at Worcester Academy in Massachusetts."
 * College career
 * "Shield attended Trinity College" > "Shield attended Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut" so that it is consistent with the other mentions of schools.
 * Wikilink passing yards.
 * "56%" > "56 percent" – for some reason (WP:PERCENT).
 * Because refs 4 and 5 are identical you should only keep the first and do  (or, alternatively, you can make the   the first page and only do the external link for page C8).
 * Professional career
 * "Over 100 people, including family and friends" – I am being pedantic but "Over 100 people, including his family and friends".
 * "Shield was released" – I would use he here since Shield was just used as the last word in the previous sentence.
 * Others
 * (Optional) recommended adding template:use X English if applicable/known.
 * Spotcheck
 * All good; passes on refs 1, 2, 5, 9 and 15.
 * Thanks for the review . I believe I have addressed all your comments, except about refs 4 and 5. This is just my standard way of citing newspaper articles that go from one page to another. I do this so that a unique archive link can be generated for each url. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk)  @ 14:48, 26 May 2024 (UTC)
 * You are most welcome :) Sure, that sounds fine. I am ready to pass this fantastic article for GA status. Congrats! Template:LunaEatsTunaSig  (talk), posted at 22:19, 28 May 2024 (UTC)