Talk:Johan Ruijsink/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MaxnaCarta (talk · contribs) 06:52, 22 April 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

(Criteria marked are unassessed)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
 * b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a. (reference section):
 * b. (citations to reliable sources):
 * c. (OR):
 * d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a. (major aspects):
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Well written article. I love that it is short, but says all it really needs to on the subject. Would be great for you to hunt for a suitably licenced photo out there. The feedback below is a suggestion for improvement. However I do not think any of the issues raised by me actually prevent the article from meeting the GA criteria and so it is a pass before any of the issues are addressed. Because the data relied on by the Express is an uncontroversial fact and not about a living person (rather a sports event) I consider it okay on this occasion. Rest of the article is fine. Great work ! MaxnaCarta (talk) 07:37, 24 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Pass/fail:
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a. (major aspects):
 * b. (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Well written article. I love that it is short, but says all it really needs to on the subject. Would be great for you to hunt for a suitably licenced photo out there. The feedback below is a suggestion for improvement. However I do not think any of the issues raised by me actually prevent the article from meeting the GA criteria and so it is a pass before any of the issues are addressed. Because the data relied on by the Express is an uncontroversial fact and not about a living person (rather a sports event) I consider it okay on this occasion. Rest of the article is fine. Great work ! MaxnaCarta (talk) 07:37, 24 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Pass/fail:
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Well written article. I love that it is short, but says all it really needs to on the subject. Would be great for you to hunt for a suitably licenced photo out there. The feedback below is a suggestion for improvement. However I do not think any of the issues raised by me actually prevent the article from meeting the GA criteria and so it is a pass before any of the issues are addressed. Because the data relied on by the Express is an uncontroversial fact and not about a living person (rather a sports event) I consider it okay on this occasion. Rest of the article is fine. Great work ! MaxnaCarta (talk) 07:37, 24 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Pass/fail:
 * b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Well written article. I love that it is short, but says all it really needs to on the subject. Would be great for you to hunt for a suitably licenced photo out there. The feedback below is a suggestion for improvement. However I do not think any of the issues raised by me actually prevent the article from meeting the GA criteria and so it is a pass before any of the issues are addressed. Because the data relied on by the Express is an uncontroversial fact and not about a living person (rather a sports event) I consider it okay on this occasion. Rest of the article is fine. Great work ! MaxnaCarta (talk) 07:37, 24 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Pass/fail:
 * 1) Overall: Well written article. I love that it is short, but says all it really needs to on the subject. Would be great for you to hunt for a suitably licenced photo out there. The feedback below is a suggestion for improvement. However I do not think any of the issues raised by me actually prevent the article from meeting the GA criteria and so it is a pass before any of the issues are addressed. Because the data relied on by the Express is an uncontroversial fact and not about a living person (rather a sports event) I consider it okay on this occasion. Rest of the article is fine. Great work ! MaxnaCarta (talk) 07:37, 24 April 2023 (UTC)
 * Pass/fail:
 * Pass/fail:

Lead

 * Why is the first sentenced referenced? Ref could be moved to second sentence in "Career"? I feel per MOS Lead that the lead section should summarise information mentioned within the body of the article (noting this one is necessarily shorter than some articles). So, I would move that reference to the appropriate sentence within the body and leave the lead to be free of citations. Looks neater. Up to you though.
 * Same comment for the first sentence of the second paragraph in the lead. Up to you.
 * C/E suggestion: First sentence may not need a comma.
 * Second sentence: Omit "After his first appearance at the Mosconi Cup"? Is it necessary?

Early life

 * First sentence: Change "Ruijsink began coaching pool players in the early 90s, credited with empowering Netherlands' pool players, such as Niels Feijen and Alex Lely, and later Russian players such as Ruslan Chinachov and Konstantin Stepanov" and replace with "Ruijsink began coaching pool players in the early 90s. He is credited with empowering Netherlands' pool players Niels Feijen and Alex Lely, and Russian players Ruslan Chinachov and Konstantin Stepanov." Up to you, but I reckon my suggestion improves on readability of prose.

Career

 * I removed an additional space between "9-11" and the period on the second sentence of third paragraph.
 * Changed "Ruijsink would take over as captain" to "took over. Small c/e
 * Another small c/e to sentence structure

Achievements

 * The only major red flag (quite literally flagged red by my script) is the use of Daily Express as a source. It is considered generally unreliable per WP:RSP. For this particular fact, I do not really see an issue. However I think if you can find one, a better source is preferable. Happy for your thoughts on this.