Talk:John Galsworthy/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator: 09:54, 22 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: 750h+ (talk · contribs) 09:41, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

i'll be taking this one. 750h+ 09:41, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

prose

 * lede
 * "Born to a prosperous upper-middle-class family, Galsworthy was destined for a career as a lawyer, but found it uncongenial and turned instead to writing." comma unneeded in british english
 * See p. 249 of the current edition of Modern English Usage: I agree that "that stops should not be used unless they are needed" but can be used to help the reader's eye along the desired path.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * life and career
 * "His biographer David Holloway comments that in describing a character in a 1930 short story, Galsworthy was in fact describing his schoolboy self" remove "in fact".
 * I think the phrase adds a helpful emphasis.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "legal education by studying aspects of maritime law at close quarters with a view to specialising in it once back at home." ==> "legal education by studying aspects of maritime law at close quarters to specialise in it once back at home."
 * Not sure that's an improvement.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "Until the death of John Galsworthy senior in 1904, Ada and Galsworthy kept their relationship secret, because a scandal would have distressed the old man greatly." remove the comma.
 * As above. I concur with Sir Bruce Fraser's advice in the second edition of Plain Words, here.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "Galsworthy published his first work of fiction in 1897, when he was aged 30." remove the comma
 * As above.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "The marriage, which was childless, lasted until his death." ==> "The childless marriage lasted until his death."
 * But the unchildless one didn't? Better as it is.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "In 1912 and 1913 he carried on an effective campaign in the cause of humane slaughtering of animals killed for food." ==> "In 1912 and 1913 he carried on an effective campaign for the cause of the humane slaughtering of animals killed for food."
 * Unexpected suggestion of pronoun. Not an improvement in my view, but I don't mind changing it.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Now I look again, perhaps it could usefully be pruned to "In 1912 and 1913 he carried on an effective campaign for the humane slaughtering ...". What think you?
 * "It was well and widely reviewed, although it did only modestly at the box-office." should there be a hyphen between "box" and "office"?
 * Depends which dictionary you consult. My two default dictionaries are the OED and Chambers: one hyphenates the word and the other doesn't.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "...which he declined, on the grounds that "no artist of Letters ought..." ==> ""which he declined, because "no artist of Letters ought..."
 * I think the existing wording makes it clearer that this was Galsworthy's view rather than an objective fact, as the proposed rewording suggests.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "In accordance with his will, his ashes were scattered from an aeroplane over the South Downs." ==> "Per/Under his will, his ashes were scattered from an aeroplane over the South Downs."
 * Certainly not "per": I agree with old dictum "Prefer good English to bad Latin". "Under" looks a bit odd to me.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)


 * works
 * "hypocrisy, selfishness and exploitation of the poor and of women of all classes"
 * Doesn't make sense as "women all classes"  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Wait I strikethroughed the wrong "of", I meant to strikethrough the other "of". 750h+ 12:19, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * "Not all Galsworthy's plays are of this kind." ==> "Not all of Galsworthy's plays are of this kind."
 * Why the otiose extra word? See the current Fowler, p. 36.  Tim riley  talk   11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

image review

 * Images are fine and are appropriately licensed. some have WP:ALT text. If you could ensure that all of the images have alt text that'd be great. 750h+ 10:07, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Absolutely! I've added alt text to the two images where it was missing.  Tim riley  talk   12:00, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

source review
i'll be spot checking this version if that's all right. Ok i'm happy with the sourcing :). 750h+ 10:27, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * 2 OK
 * Holloway source of 7 OK
 * 8 OK
 * 9 OK
 * 12 OK
 * 16 OK
 * 25 OK
 * 38 OK. I've verified that via Newspapers.com.
 * 41 OK
 * 63 OK
 * 68 OK
 * 69 OK
 * 98 OK
 * 105 OK

verdict

 * Okay so a lot of these suggestions were just my stupidity. unless you have any other comments Tim riley, i'd be happy to pass this article for GA. 750h+ 12:24, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Nothing whatever to do with stupidity! We'd just write the same text rather differently, that's all. Glad of your thoughts on my suggestion for a small nip and tuck of one bit, though. And I concur with your amended suggestion for the stricken "of".  Tim riley  talk   12:36, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the response, Tim :). Passing. 750h+ 12:37, 12 May 2024 (UTC)