Talk:John Jamison Moore

Mohammed Al-Khalifa Peer Review
The Early Life section was very straightforward and really focused on the more important aspects of John Moore early life. However the article needed an introduction at the beginning. The structuring goes in the right order. It was fairly balanced especially since early life information might be scarce for certain historical figures. The references and citations was very good.

Finally I believe the article was well-cited and balanced however it just needs an introduction in the start of the article that gives the reader an overview.

Stephanie's Peer Review
No lead or page title. Article structure and clarity is sufficient, there is also balanced coverage. In the "Early Life" section Philadelphia is spelt incorrectly. Content within the section "Life in San Francisco" try "In 1852, Moore founded the first AME Zion Church in San Francisco and established his own blacks-only school. The school was located..." this seems to flow better. References and neutrality seem good. Kelleyst (talk) 23:17, 28 November 2018 (UTC)

-- Prof. Smith Feedback: Hi Sam,

I think you have the foundation for a very strong article here. I'm glad that you were able to find so many credible and interesting sources about Moore. Much of what I'm going to say here echoes what your peers say above and has mainly to do with improving the organization. 1) You need to have a title (John Jamison Moore) and a lead. See the template, linked on our Canvas homepage, for information about how to format this and what to include. The lead should be a basic statement of his significance, something like: "John Jamison Moore (Birth and death years) was a prominent African American civil rights activist. He is most famous for his work as a minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church, including writing the first history of the church in 1884, and for working as an educator and activist in San Francisco."

2) Be sure to note that the reason he taught a "blacks only" school in San Francisco was because black children were informally excluded from public schools in California and this private school was the first and only school for black children in the city (and perhaps in the state?)

3) Can you include a brief section on his later life? I'm under the impression that he moved back East, but I'm not positive. At the very least, can you specify where and when he died?

4) Remember that you need "See Also" and "External Links" sections to have a complete assignment. See the article template that I handed out in class, and that is posted on our Canvas homepage, for details on what to include in these sections and how to format them. StaceySmithOSU (talk) 17:48, 1 December 2018 (UTC)