Talk:John Mason Loomis/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 20:53, 6 June 2021 (UTC)

Can review Eddie891 Talk Work 20:53, 6 June 2021 (UTC)


 * Imgs look good Eddie891 Talk Work 23:38, 14 June 2021 (UTC)


 * Lede could be expanded a couple sentences
 * ✅ Expanded lead.


 * "the colonial forces" can you specify what these forces were?
 * ✅ copy edited to say, "John Loomis was named after a prominent officer in the colonial forces of the Connecticut Colony who was distinguished for his gallantry during the French and Indian War."
 * The source says, The parents of John Mason Loomis were James Loomis a native of Windsor who was a farmer merchant and miller who also served for many years as Colonel of First Regiment of Connecticut State Militia being a public spirited man having an for military duties and Abigail Sherwood Chaffee Loomis a native of Greenfield Hill Fairfield County Connecticut the descendant of a family of very high social standing. Their son was named John Mason after a very prominent officer in the colonial forces who was distinguished for his gallantry during the continuous wars with the Indian tribes.


 * "In 1869 the Pere Marquette Lumber Company of Ludington" I thought Ludington didn't exist when the company was founded?
 * ✅ Copy edited accordingly


 * "When he was 18, Loomis became a captain in the state militia. He became a Navy midshipman, but became" can you rephrase to repeat 'became' less?
 * ✅ Copy edited accordingly


 * "several influential men in Chicago" would it be possible to name them?
 * ✅ The source only says, To this request, backed by the earnest appeals of influential citizens of Chicago, Mr. Loomis responded with a favorable answer...


 * could you link "Indian Wars of New England"
 * ✅ Removed this paragraph, as this has already been said in Early life.


 * "not considered a politician, was active in the selection of good men for office" not considered by who, and could you clarify his involvement in selecting 'good' men for office?
 * ✅ Source doesn't say anything other than, is active in the selection of good men for office and the securing of good government.


 * Addressed the issues above. Can you take a look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:09, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
 * User:Cleveland Todd (of GOCE) has recently made some additional improvements.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:22, 23 June 2021 (UTC)


 * Some more to come... Eddie891 Talk Work 21:03, 21 June 2021 (UTC)


 * As far as sourcing goes, what makes "Together We Served.com" and "http://gracechurchonthegreen.org/" reliable sources? Eddie891 Talk Work 23:39, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
 * I'll get replacement references for those ASAP. I'll start on that today. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:25, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Replaced "Together We Served.com" and Grace Church with reliable sources. Can You take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:52, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
 * OK, seems reasonable now. Eddie891 Talk Work 12:01, 25 June 2021 (UTC)