Talk:John Struthers (anatomist)/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 05:57, 18 December 2012 (UTC)


 * I will take on this review. At first inspection the article looks well written and I look forward to studying it in detail in the next couple of days. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:57, 18 December 2012 (UTC)
 * Many thanks. I will be away 20 - 29 Dec, possibly with no access. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:10, 18 December 2012 (UTC)

First reading
I will omit the lead section for the time being, coming back to it later, and start by looking in detail at the rest of the article.
 * Wikilink or explain - linen, bleacher, dresser, surgical clerk, physician, surgeon, dissection, ligament, connective tissue, foramen, vestigial, Bow Street Police Court, monograph, embalmed, Done.
 * "the marriage lasted until Alexander's death despite the large age difference, though with some difficulty."- What sort of difficulty? Done.
 * " ... as John also did." - I think you might omit that as it is self evident and interrupts the flow of commentary about his family. Done.
 * "Both his older brother James and his younger brother Alexander studied medicine, as John also did. James became a doctor at Leith; Alexander died of cholera while serving as a doctor in the Crimean War." - I would be inclined to move these two sentences to immediately before the information about his sisters. Done.
 * The section "Awards and honours" contains a number of single line paragraphs. It could do with being prosified a bit. Done.
 * "Struthers became popularly famous for his dissection of the "Tay Whale" — one of his largest specimens." I think that "popularly famous" could be improved, something like "known to the general public" Done.
 * "Only when the whale was too badly decomposed for further public exhibition was Struthers allowed to dissect the famous specimen on 25 January 1884." I think this sentence could be rearranged or rephrased as having the precise date at the end is a bit awkward. Since we don't know precisely when the whale aws stranded, do we need the precise date it was dissected? Done.
 * "To make matters worse, there were snow showers." - I think this is a bit casual and unencyclopaedic. Done.
 * The last few sentences of the Tay Whale section have "finally", "eventually" and "ultimately". These seem excessive. Done.
 * "Struthers was father-in-law of David Orme Masson who married his daughter Mary. He was grandfather of Sir James Irvine Orme Masson, and father-in-law of Simon Somerville Laurie, who married his daughter Lucy.[26][27]" - If you are going to mention these members of his family, you could indicate their specialities or reasons for being notable. Done.

The lead
Turning to the lead,
 * I think you should wikify and capitalise "Regius professor of anatomy" where it occurs in the lead. Done.
 * " ... the largest and finest specimens, including the skeletons of whales" - I think you should add "to dissect" Done.
 * " ...and alarming his colleagues with his single-minded quest for money and space for his collection." - I don't think you mention this in the body of the article. Done
 * You use "humpback whale" in the lead and "Humpback Whale" in the body of the article. Done.
 * " he was known for the large number of detailed and accurate papers and books that he wrote" - I'm not sure that this statement is made out in the article's contents. Done.
 * As I understand the guidelines, words should be wikified where they first occur and can be wikified in both lead and main text. Done.   Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:00, 18 December 2012 (UTC)

A few more points
It's coming along nicely!
 * In the Infobox, some of the lines start with lower case letters. Done.
 * Also in the Infobox, it states that he had 5 sons and 4 daughters but in the article, it mentions "All three of their sons". Done.
 * Reference 21 looks inadequate. I guess you don't really need it at all because you give a fuller reference at the end of the quote. Done.
 * The humpback whale drawing could have a better caption. The name Megaptera longimana does not appear as a synonym of Megaptera novaeangliae but that article does state that Megaptera is a monotypic genus. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 18:20, 18 December 2012 (UTC) Done.
 * M. longimana was how it was described then, could well have been a not-properly-documented synonym. Since it was a monotypic genus, guess that means it must be a synonym of some status. Will try to fix these now, will be around until 10am tomo. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:27, 18 December 2012 (UTC)