Talk:Johnny Peirson/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 22:19, 5 July 2021 (UTC)

Shall review this article for the July 2021 GAN Backlog Drive MWright96 (talk) 22:19, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * "serving in that role for over two decades." - more than
 * Changed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink university hockey to College ice hockey
 * Linked. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Boston Bruins doesn't need to be wikilinked twice in the lead
 * Fixed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * "After his stint in the military, Peirson was accepted into McGill University in 1945.[2] There, he played one season for the McGill Redmen." - maybe merge these two sentences together?
 * Merged. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "It turned out to be McGill's final Queen's Cup for over 60 years" - more than
 * Changed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink the term points to Point (ice hockey)
 * Linked.—Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Minor leagues

 * "who was keen to earn a bit of extra money for his education" - text in bold is informal
 * Didn't want to close paraphrase with "some money". Changed it to "some extra money" – hope that's alright. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)


 * NHL should be spelt out in full on the first mention and the acronyms put in parentheses
 * I already did that in the lead. Should it be done again in the main section? —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I would advise that MWright96 (talk) 13:46, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 16:05, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Boston Bruins (1947–1958)

 * "His legs were described as having "sort of disappeared" - described by whom?
 * Ref 4 (by McGill) quotes it as: Peirson retired in 1958, because his "legs sort of disappeared." It does not attribute the description to him.  I Googled the exact quotation but this is the only source that mentions it. —Bloom6132 (talk) 11:09, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
 * I've reworded it to have the exact quote (i.e. removing "were described as having"). —Bloom6132 (talk) 16:05, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Post-playing career

 * "The pair would work together in that capacity for 18 years. They notably covered the first four games of the Summit Series for American viewers." - perhaps merge these two sentences together
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

 * "Peirson married Barbara Ann (Hunt) around 1951. They remained married for 70 years until his death." - these two sentences could possibly be merged together and shortened accordingly
 * Merged. Not sure if I shortened it enough – feel free to suggest a better wording. —Bloom6132 (talk) 11:09, 6 July 2021 (UTC)

Career statstics

 * "Source: [1][2][6]" - should be Sources
 * Fixed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 09:26, 6 July 2021 (UTC)