Talk:Jon Rose/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hiya111 (talk · contribs) 14:17, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

I'll be having a read of this today! (talk • contribs) 14:17, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

Sounds great, glad to be working with you! Spintendo 22:10, 30 October 2019 (UTC)

Very interesting - his music is quite different to what I'm used to! Here are my initial thoughts on the article.. :)

Lead section

 * It's slightly on the short side, but nonetheless provides a sufficient overview - is there something he is best known for, that you could put here? Perhaps his title(s) of work.
 * Might be worth mentioning/linking to Extended technique for his non-standard use of the violin. This is his technique for free improvisation.
 * ✅ I've added extended technique to the Free improvisation section's hatnote. Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)


 * Tony Mitchell is another musician so link to his Wiki page.
 * ✅ WL added. Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)

Early career

 * Will the title "Early life" or perhaps "Biography" be more appropriate?
 * ✅ Changed to Early life. Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)


 * I looked at the source [2] and couldn't find that he studied on a scholarship (just says he "studied the violin")
 * ✅ Scholarship source added. Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)


 * "Rose was active in the UK.." - active doing what? Performing, composing? Might want to expand.
 * ✅ Expanded. Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)


 * This section is a bit thin - is there a bit more about his early work that could be added?

Improvising musician

 * The first paragraph is kind of an intro to the Free improvisation article. Fine - but careful not to diverge too far from the person in question, Jon Rose.
 * This section is also a bit thin - is there more info on his improvisation ability/music?

Compositions

 * This part is probably best written in prose without bullet points. Bullets are fine for short titles/one line sentences but I don't think it works here.
 * ✅ Changed to prose. Spintendo  08:03, 2 November 2019 (UTC)


 * Since his orchestral compositions are in date order, we could do a chronological account of his works in prose (eg. Rose's first composition was [..], a variety of genres [..] Several years later, his next work was different [..] influenced by this technique). You get the idea.
 * Same goes for radio compositions. I think it's worth expanding his style, technique, arrangement etc. See John Cage for an example.
 * Consider doing a section at the end, listing just the titles and years of the orchestral compositions/radio compositions.

Environmental works

 * The list of works are shorter but again, it's better presented in prose without bullet points.
 * Some of these works are unusually interesting.. it's possible we can expand and describe their compositions more. What do you think?

Live performances

 * "Rose's live performances have included multimedia content, including text.." - What does this mean? "Multimedia" is quite a broad term - might need to narrow it down and include examples used in his performances.
 * As before, his multimedia work should be presented in prose.

Instrument builder / Reception / Author / Discography

 * This section is fine - could do with a little beefing up
 * Images of his instruments might be nice
 * More internal Wiki links
 * Reception could be renamed "Recognition" and that can includes awards and residencies
 * "Author" section should be renamed to "Bibliography" and perhaps mention the book titles earlier in the article?
 * Why isn't much of the discography mentioned earlier? I know there's probably not a lot to be said of them but we shouldn't ignore it.