Talk:Jonathan Brookins/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 03:46, 4 February 2011 (UTC)

I read the article over a couple time, and here are the issues I have:
 * Fights in background need cites.
 * "Brookins then signed with the Ultimate Fighting Championship" when? Dates aren't really used in the article yet they would be quite helpful.
 * "Brookins then got hooks in " huh?
 * "In a somewhat lopsided bout, Brookins controlled;" comma rather than semicolon
 * First paragraph of UFC needs cite, as does first paragraph of legal troubles.
 * There's just not enough tangible info in the article as is. Right now, you wouldn't have guessed he's had 15 fights. Namely, there's no personal life info at all.
 * The language gets a bit repetitive in areas. For example, you use Brookins rather frequently where there are instances where you can just use he.

I would normally put this on hold, but I think this is a situation where you would need more than a week to make all the changes. As a result, I'll fail the article as is. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:46, 4 February 2011 (UTC)