Talk:Joseph Parry/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 12:04, 2 June 2016 (UTC)

Will review this tomorrow..♦ Dr. Blofeld  19:12, 3 June 2016 (UTC)


 * Lede
 * " Parry was also the first Welshman to compose an opera; his opera, Blodwen, was the first opera" -do we need to mention "opera" three times? ✅
 * Perhaps specifically mention Cyfarthfa Ironworks ✅
 * Link University of Cambridge ✅


 * Return to Wales
 * "He competed in the eisteddfod " -start paragraphs with "Parry". ✅
 * "But Parry had long wondered how his music would be received in his native Wales. In 1864, he sent an anthem to the National Eisteddfod of Wales at Llandudno. " -a bit clumsy, try "Curious as to how his music would be received in his native Wales, in 1864, he sent an anthem to the National Eisteddfod of Wales at Llandudno". ✅
 * "Parry was offered the opportunity to study for a year under Dr Davies of Swansea, followed by a one year scholarship at the Royal Academy of Music.[7] He had to refuse both offers since he had a wife and child in the United States dependent on him for support.[7] By this time, Parry's musical ability had become well-known in Wales and in the United States. " -not clear "by this time" refers to as you've not mentioned a date.


 * References show the National Eisteddfod at Aberstywyth in 1865-changed to 1865 as this was when the competition was at Aberstywyth, when Parry visited Wales and was offered the scholarships. We hope (talk) 14:30, 7 June 2016 (UTC)


 * Professor and Doctor of music
 * He worked -Parry worked ✅
 * "In addition to his university duties, Parry was frequently away, working as an adjudicator and conducting concerts of his compositions" -"In addition to his university duties, Parry frequently travelled as an adjudicator and conducting concerts of his compositions". ✅


 * Personal life
 * "David Jenkins, who was a student and assistant to Parry at Aberystwyth, described him as impulsive and unable to criticise his own works, too erratic to be a good conductor and too impatient for all but advanced students, but with a boyish enthusiasm, especially for music" -does anything need quoting here?


 * Jenkins wrote what might be considered a eulogy here only 3 days after Parry's death. There are some areas which might be considered for a quote box, and since this is from 1903, no worries re: copyright. We hope (talk) 14:30, 7 June 2016 (UTC)


 * Compositions
 * "The London Welsh Chorale and The British Sinfonietta" -presumably singing together as something can only premiere once!
 * I left only the London Welsh Chorale, as they are mentioned by the refs. We hope (talk) 14:30, 7 June 2016 (UTC)

♦ Dr. Blofeld  13:53, 7 June 2016 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: ♦ Dr. Blofeld  10:45, 8 June 2016 (UTC)

Excellent job!♦ Dr. Blofeld  10:52, 8 June 2016 (UTC)