Talk:Joseph Stannard/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 19:12, 14 December 2020 (UTC)

Mine. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:12, 14 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "File:Joseph Stannard as a Youth by Robert Ladbrooke.jpg" needs a US PD tag. ✅
 * As does "File:Thorpe Water Frolic, Afternoon.jpg" ✅
 * Infobox image: start the title with an upper case P. ✅
 * Alt text for the gallery? ✅
 * "during most of his short life" Suggest deleting "short"; you give his age at death in the same sentence. ✅
 * I see three paragraphs with final sentences which are uncited.
 * I have standardised the hyphenation of ISBNs for you.
 * Fawcett: no ISSN? ✅
 * Hemingway (2017): chapter page range please. And you have linked the book to the chapter. ✅
 * Day (1969) - ISBN/OCLC? ✅

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:20, 15 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Above comments addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 21:25, 15 December 2020 (UTC)

Note that many of the following comments are written with a prospective FAC in mind and would not need to be settled for GAN to be resolved. (Although some would.)


 * 1st paragraph of "Background": Why are Crome and Stark named twice? I think that the paragraph could do with rejigging. ✅
 * "The Norwich School was a unique phenomenon in the history of 19th-century British art" is, IMO, too close to the source in phraseology. Could you paraphrase it further? ✅ I've quoted Moore directly, as he puts it as I would it put. Amitchell125 (talk) 14:41, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
 * "than any other similar city". Does "other" add anything? ✅
 * Optional: Giving the full name of the RA may help some readers. ✅
 * Should cite 14 be to page 15? If not, we are probably looking at different versions; what page is "its survival for thirty years" on in yours? ✅
 * "to become a skilled draughtsman, and become well placed" Would it be possible to avoid "become" twice in six words? ✅
 * "Friends and relatives rallied to support him to recuperate". That's not grammatical. Perhaps 'Friends and relatives rallied to support him to recuperation' or similar? ✅
 * "his career lasted no longer than fifteen years". "no longer than" → 'only'. ✅
 * "as early as 1811". "as early as" → 'in'. ✅
 * "A Scene in the Melodrama of the "Broken Sword". Should there be closing quote marks? ✅

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:10, 15 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "showing eight works at the British Institution each year from 1824 to 1828". You then list eight works. Did he show the same eight works each year. ✅
 * "(Breydon, looking towards Yarmouth; et al. Closing parenthesis. ✅
 * "From 1824 he taught his friend Edward Thomas Daniell how to etch.[47][48] and Daniell was taught when a student at Oxford University, working with Stannard during his holidays, and the relationship between pupil and teacher became more equal as Daniell's ability as an etcher developed." Probably too much happening in this sentence. Consider breaking and/or rephrasing. ✅
 * Link masterpiece. ✅
 * "an oil painting that shows a large civic regatta attended by almost 20,000 spectators". A natural reading of this would be that the painting shows 20,000 spectators. Could it be rephrased to clarify the point? ✅
 * "(108 × 172 cm)" Should that not be in inches with a convert template? ✅
 * "praised" seems over used. Perhaps some synonyms? ✅

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:41, 16 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "Thorpe Water Frolic, Afternoon": I am not sure that the final two sentences justify a paragraph of their own, and they seem chronologically juxtaposed. ✅
 * "In 1822 he exhibited The Ferry, from a celebrated picture of Berchem in the Musee des Tableaux, Amsterdam." What is meant by "from"? ✅ Rogue sentence removed.
 * "This visit enabled him". I think readers need a reminder of what "this" refers to. ✅
 * We have "Norfolk Museums", "Norfolk Museums Collections" and "Norwich Castle Museum and Art Gallery". It may be worth briefly setting out the relationship between them. ✅ - note added
 * "typically depicted within their working environment, reveal their personalities". 'revealing. ✅
 * "now lost" → 'it is now lost' or 'no copies are known to survvie'. ✅
 * "by the relatively short number of works produced". "short" → 'small'. ✅
 * "so explaining why he remained unnoticed". Delete "so". ✅

Some mostly way past GAN comments:


 * "Crome was at time Norwich's most important artist". It may just be me, but I don't like "important"> I am not even sure what it means in this context. ✅
 * Link apprenticed. ✅
 * Suggest "He was an excellent oarsman and a skilled ice-skater, and crowds would gather to watch him perform on the ice." → 'He was an excellent oarsman and a skilled ice-skater; crowds would gather to watch him perform on the ice.' ✅
 * " the church of St John Maddermarket". Upper case C. ✅
 * "alleviated temporarily by the patronage of the Norwich manufacturer and entrepreneur John Harvey, who commissioned Stannard to paint Thorpe Water Frolic, Afternoon. By 1824, with his debts cleared"; "The high production costs were in the end borne by Stannard and not Harvey, whose financial situation had deteriorated". There seems to be a contradiction here. ✅
 * "but a costumed gondolier in his boat is shown, suggestive of the regattas of Venice, adds a new dimension.". "adds" → either 'adding' or 'which adds'. ✅
 * Link commissions at first mention. ✅

Gog the Mild (talk) 10:57, 20 December 2020 (UTC)