Talk:Journey (2012 video game)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 22:07, 20 July 2012 (UTC)

Happy to offer a review. J Milburn (talk) 22:07, 20 July 2012 (UTC)


 * "The game features the player as a robed figure in a vast desert" Player =/= player character
 * Done.


 * "This shout also transforms dull, stiff pieces of cloth found throughout the levels into vibrant red, affecting the world around them." Affecting the worlds around the pieces of cloth? Not clear what is meant
 * Done.


 * "anonymous players" Plural? The previous paragraph implies that they will meet only one?
 * Done, one other player at a time, so possibly (probably) multiple over the course of a playthrough.


 * "some larger ones if they touch the figure can rip off part of the figure's scarf.[2]" Clumsy phrasing
 * Decide whether it is Flow or flOw (I'd recommend the former)
 * Done.


 * "The soundtrack is heavily based on cello and other orchestral instruments, with numerous cello solos, though Wintory describes it as not necessarily "orchestral" as there is "a heavily electronic aspect to it"." This feels that it's just a repetition of what has previously been said; I think Wintory's description could be brought into the previous few lines
 * Done.


 * "The game won several awards at the 2011 Electronic Entertainment Expo, including those for Best Download Game from 1UP.com, GameSpy, and GameTrailers.[26]" Is it not worth listing all of the awards?
 * Not really, it's other best download game from non-notable sources, and non-notable awards from notable sources. Changed the sentence to not refer to those; in December/January when the yearly awards start coming out the importance of that sentence will presumably be greatly diminished anyway.


 * "especially laudatory of the emotional experience of playing the game, especially" Repetition
 * "especially laudatory" sounds a little breathless anyway.


 * "The Edge review says that" Not the best way of phrasing it. How about something like "A reviewer writing for Edge magazine said that..."
 * Done.


 * Reference 1 lacks a publisher
 * Done.


 * What is SCEE? Definitely reliable?
 * Sony Consumer Entertainment Europe, changed to Sony.


 * Looking at some screenshots online, I'm not sure that the one you've chosen is the most representative of the game. For a game that relies so heavily on visuals, getting it right is very important; how about one showing two players, perhaps with the bright lighting effects of the cloaks?
 * Yeah, I just left what was already in the article; I'll get a better one tonight/this weekend.
 * Alright, new image with two players and a glowing scarf. -- Pres N  03:45, 24 July 2012 (UTC)

I'd like to take a closer look into the sources, but hopefully this will give you a few things to work on. Seems like a very special game. J Milburn (talk) 22:31, 20 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I quite liked it. Thanks for reviewing! -- Pres N  00:04, 21 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, after a few source spotchecks, I'm happy. This is a lovely little article- once the collectors' edition and the end-of-year awards details have been added to the article, this would probably do well at FAC. For now, however, I'm certainly happy to promote it to GA status. Great work, as ever. J Milburn (talk) 23:54, 25 July 2012 (UTC)