Talk:Julian Pierce/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Phlsph7 (talk · contribs) 21:43, 10 November 2022 (UTC)

I'll review this one and I hope to have my first comments soon. I'm just getting started with GAN reviewing so please let me know if you have the impression that some of my comments miss their mark. was kind enough to agree to review my review to make sure it doesn't go off-track. Phlsph7 (talk) 21:43, 10 November 2022 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
 * 1) Is it verifiable with no original research?
 * A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
 * B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons&mdash;science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
 * C. It contains no original research:
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

I think the article is already pretty close to a pass. There are several minor issues with the prose and two questions about the accuracy of some claims. I have listed a few ideas about additional facts that could be included in the article.

Prose

 * He then attended the Pembroke State University in Pembroke, North Carolina, graduating with a Bachelor of Science degree in Chemistry in 1966.: I think there should be no "the" before "Pembroke State University". Do we need to repeat that it is in Pembroke or can we just say "He then attended Pembroke State University in North Carolina, graduating with..."?
 * Removed superfluous "the". I think it's important specify and have the town of Pembroke linked, it's the center of the Lumbee community in southeastern NC and its where he ended up working.
 * After graduating from law school in 1976, he became an attorney for the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission's office of general counsel in Washington, D.C..: sentences shouldn't end in a double period even for abreviations
 * Removed.
 * In that capacity he mostly compiled briefs on the commission's behalf,...: comma after "capacity".
 * There is one?
 * Pierce refused, and over the course of February and March it was alleged that...: comma after March
 * Done.
 * On the morning March 26, 1988, just a few weeks before the election...: add "of" after "morning"
 * Done.
 * Pierce's family and many members of the Lumbee community doubted investigators' conclusions.: add "the" before "investigators'"
 * Done.
 * A crime scene photo also showed that the shotgun which had killed Goins sitting in his lap with its breech open.: there is something wrong with this sentence. What about "A crime scene photo also showed that the shotgun used to shoot Goins was laying in his lap with its breech open".
 * Done.
 * As for Goines, the state medical examiner and state investigators disagreed...: replace "Goines" with "Goins".
 * Done.
 * In 1969 he became a chemist in the U.S. Navy Shipyard in Norfolk, Virginia, where he performed similar work.: comma after 1969
 * Done.
 * Joe Freeman Britt, the county's white district attorney who was known for pushing for death sentences in criminal trials, declared himself a candidate for the office in the 1988 Democratic primary.: the explanatory clause is a little bit too long for my taste. What about "Joe Freeman Britt, the county's white district attorney, was known for pushing for death sentences in criminal trials and declared himself a candidate for the office in the 1988 Democratic primary."
 * I've split this into two sentences.
 * The following day a campaign worker told him that...: comma after "day"
 * Done.
 * A crowd of approximately 200 Lumbee gathered at the scene, and Stone asked for their help in providing information about the killing.: no comma after "scene"
 * Done.
 * A few days later he announced that investigators had...: comma after "later"
 * Done.
 * No gunshot residue was found on his hands, and the autopsy did not conclude that he had fired the gun himself.[15]: no comma after "hands"
 * Done.
 * To bring more racial balance to the court system, the General Assembly created another judgeship in the county, and the governor appointed Lumbee attorney Dexter Brooks,...: no comma after "county"
 * Done.

Others
Phlsph7 (talk) 11:58, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
 * WP:EARWIG shows two possible copyright violations but they are due to direct quotes.
 * The article has one image of Julian Pierce with a non-free use rationale.
 * The reliable sources agree that Pierce's body was found on March 26, 1988. But can we say that he died on March 26, 1988? Do we know that he wasn't killed the day before at night and then only found in the morning?
 * Fair. I've added some nuance to this.
 * It's a little short but it covers all the main points discussed in the sources and . The following are some ideas about possible additions.
 * Maybe the "Early life"-section could mention that he had 12 brothers and sisters.
 * Done.
 * What about giving some very basic background information about the Lumbee community in the section "Legal defense and Lumbee recognition"? For example, from : "The 40,000+ members of the Lumbee Tribe reside primarily in Robeson, Hoke and Scotland counties. The Lumbee Tribe is the largest tribe in North Carolina, the largest tribe east of the Mississippi River, and the ninth largest in the nation".
 * I've added some info about them being the largest tribe east of the Mississippi and a bit of history on their recognition status.
 * What about mentioning some information about his children in the "Legacy" section? From : "His daughter, Julia Pierce, attended the University of Virginia School of Law, graduating in 1998, and is a federal Indian lawyer working for the Indian Health Service in Washington, DC. She is involved in the Indian community on a professional and personal level. His son, Julian Pierce, Jr., attended medical school at the Medical College of Virginia and is finishing his internal medicine residency in Tennessee. He hopes to work in an Indian community when the residency is complete. Pierce's eldest son, Avery Pierce, is finishing college after working for the last 15 years. Pierce remains in the heart of his children, family, friends, and community. Julia Pierce, Julian Pierce's daughter, is an attorney for the Indian Health Service in Washington, DC."
 * Seeing as that document was written by his daughter, I don't think it's very good form to include her puffery of herself and her siblings (I was careful to avoid certain claims she made about her dad that were not supported in other sources, like that he came up with an "award-winning" nuclear decontamination process). "His kids got college educations and good jobs" is a rather mundane point to make anyhow.
 * I've responded to your comments. -Indy beetle (talk) 00:46, 12 November 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for being so responsive. Your explanations make sense. As for the sentence In that capacity he mostly compiled briefs...: I meant that there should be a comma after "capacity" since it is an introductory phrase that could be removed. But this is not an important point and there may be exceptions to this rule so feel free to leave it if your intuition tells you to. One more missing comma I spotted: In 1981 he served as counsel for residents...: comma missing after "1981". Otherwise, the article looks fine to me. I've already notified and I wanted to wait for his feedback before I let it pass. Phlsph7 (talk) 09:20, 12 November 2022 (UTC)
 * Dealt with these two points raised above. Thank you for the review. -Indy beetle (talk) 01:33, 13 November 2022 (UTC)
 * I quickly reviewed the article and the comments above. I think this is a well done and effective review and that the comments have been addressed by the GAN nominator. Please ping me if there are any concerns or questions. Z1720 (talk) 19:00, 13 November 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot for taking the time to assess my review. Phlsph7 (talk) 20:04, 13 November 2022 (UTC)