Talk:Kade L. Twist

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 6 January 2020 and 13 March 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Kikimontanoooo. Peer reviewers: Moe awad.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:33, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
To start off, I enjoyed reading what you have so far. I saw that you backed up mostly everything you said with a source; which will help your papers credibility greatly. You introduce the artist and his work throughly but it would help if you explained things more in context. For example, you say he is part of the tribe called “Cherokees,” you have to consider the that the readers have no knowledge about any of this so maybe explaining that or providing a link to that word. In the artworks section you cite the piece but maybe try citing where you also got the info about his perspective such as “Repellent fences” I can see that you are yet to cite that. You do a good job at describing his work but give us a broader idea of his life today. We are given his past but what is he doing now? How is his relationship with his family?- ask yourself these things as you go back to it. You have to describe your artist and his mission much more; you are giving us only the basic information about his work. Instead, it would really help the paper if you gave us extra information to show us who he is. All in all, for the info you have right now I say you did a good job citing and describing the artist but many improvements can be made to allowing readers to understand the artist more. Thanks and good-luck!

I enjoyed reading the work you have completed thus far. The information you included throughout the article was relevant and contained a mostly neutral position. Almost all of your links or sources cited were relevant and good sources. The only sources that may not be viewed as applicable to the article were numbers 9 and 12, I suggest possibly looking for some backup sources to replace those. Although most of your information is relevant, your paragraph contains many short sentences that can be combined to become stronger and create a more fluid tone when reading. Additionally, make sure when citing from your resources that you do not plagiarize. Some of your very first citations contain the exact same wording as what you wrote in your article. Those will be taken down and removed if you do not rephrase into your own words, but still great information. Within the first header paragraph the word "successful" creates a tone that isn't neutral. I recommend replacing or removing the word just in case. I would also review the use of the word "following" in your second paragraph under header number two. Your artworks paragraph, the first one, contains very small spelling and grammar errors but the info is great, just revise (specifically the sentence with "intended in hopes"). Also make sure to cite any artworks included within your article, even if it just a link to a picture of the artwork. Also, really try to elaborate and describe the artist and their works as much as you can. Besides those small changes I feel like the information you included is relevant and mostly neutral, keep up the good work!

AlyssaOmohundro (talk) 19:54, 25 February 2020 (UTC)