Talk:Kamapua'a

Kainoasa I see you still haven't completed any of the FOUR exercises, and they are all now overdue. You are also behind on two trainings. Please complete them ASAP, as you are supposed to be drafting your articles this week. Come see me if there are any issues. Gardneca (talk) 02:23, 29 March 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review
Kainoasa As an overview, you have a lot of good details. Make sure you include something like, "according to the myth" or "legend says" while talking about the story-line so people don't get confused whether or not the story is fact or fiction. That will also help you avoid language that is emotional. As far as references, make sure to include who you are referencing when writing about the subject. Remember to include in=text citations, even though it's paraphrasing.

Lead section: Starting with the Early Life is fine, but make sure you include that this is a character from a myth. People may get confused and assume you're writing about an actual person from history.

Structure: The structure is a little confusing when reading because, as I said above, there aren't many citations.

Balanced Coverage: I think the resources you have are a good start. However, I think it would be helpful if you found a few more sources. Possibly, something that talks about how the myth is talked about/is significant to Hawai'i.

Neutral Content: As said before, the language seems emotional/subjective because there wasn't any indication that you were summarizing a myth. Words like "handsome" and "good" aren't neutral, but if you include the citations and indications that the myth says that, it'll be fine.

Mnordee2 (talk) 05:47, 15 April 2019 (UTC)


 * Mnordee2 thanks for your review and for your suggestions for improvement. Kainoasa going forward, I agree with your peer reviewer that you will want to add more content and citations to further improve your article. You've identified areas that needed to be expanded and that is great, so keep up the good work and write, write, write! Gardneca (talk) 01:05, 22 April 2019 (UTC)

Move discussion in progress
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