Talk:Kanae Yamamoto (artist)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Coemgenus (talk · contribs) 14:26, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

I'll review this one over the next few days. --Coemgenus (talk) 14:26, 17 September 2015 (UTC)

Checklist

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Comments

 * Images
 * The images are all properly licensed.


 * Lede
 * "...the commercial studio systems of ukiyo-e and shin-hanga." Is there a reason that one term is italicized and the other isn't?
 * We're supposed to italicize unassimilated foreign words. "Ukiyo-e" has long been assimilated, but "shin-hanga" is much more obscure—I'm not aware of a dictionary that lists it. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:14, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * OK. They both seemed foreign to me, but this is not my area of expertise, so I'll defer to your judgment. --Coemgenus (talk) 12:38, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * "He brought back to Japan ideas..." This sentence is really long, and could be broken up (maybe at the semi-colon?)
 * How does it look now? Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:14, 18 September 2015 (UTC)


 * Early life and training (1882–1907)
 * "Ryōsai Yamamoto took in Ichirō with the intention of raising him to marry his daughter Take, the eldest of the family's nine children." It doesn't say so explicitly, but I'm assuming they did get married?
 * As far as I know they didn't. I'll see if my sources say what happened. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:14, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * If the sources don't say, there's nothing we can do. --Coemgenus (talk) 12:38, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * "Such aoocurances may have..." Is that a typo, or just a word I don't know?
 * Fixed. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:14, 18 September 2015 (UTC)


 * Prints and sōsaku hanga (1904–1912)
 * "...that July Hōsun came to an end after thirty-five issues." Why did it stop publishing? Government pressure, or just lack of subscribers?
 * I'll have to check my sources, but my impression is it had just run its course and the artists moved on. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:14, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Okay, I added a bit here—two of the cofounders moved from Tokyo and Kanae had devoted himself to his kabuki prints. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:45, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * The dates in the two section titles overlap; was that intentional?
 * If it was, I can't remember why. Fixed. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:14, 18 September 2015 (UTC)


 * Legacy
 * "It is believed that...", "...it is supposed...." It's better to say who believes it, I think.
 * This is always awkward: in the first case, it's Stadtler stating it, but he's not stating it as his own judgement, but wording it as something like "According to Stadtler" would imply it was his judgement ... Any advice? Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:14, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Maybe "Historans believe..." or "Art historians believe..." if that's indeed who's doing the believing here. --Coemgenus (talk) 12:39, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
 * other than this, we're good to go. --Coemgenus (talk) 12:11, 21 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Sorry about that. I'm not sure I can through in an "art historians believe" as the source doesn't say who's doing the believing.  I7ll see if I can find a source that says more specifically who's doing the believing. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 23:28, 21 September 2015 (UTC)
 * If you can't, you can't. It's not a make-or-break issue, but I think the prose could be clearer. --Coemgenus (talk) 13:03, 22 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Any answer on this, Curly Turkey? I was hoping to pass this soon. --Coemgenus (talk) 12:46, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
 * Well, as I said, it's not a make or break issue, so I'll pass this one. --Coemgenus (talk) 21:40, 29 September 2015 (UTC)