Talk:Kanariya/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 20:08, 27 September 2016 (UTC)

Soon... Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:08, 27 September 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * Japanese: translated to "Canary" → Japanese: "Canary"
 * single, limiting physical sales units to → single with limited physical units of
 * There are two versions of "Kanariya"; a radio edit that was → produced by DJ Jonathan Peters, and an album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino. → Two versions of "Kanariya" were made available for consumption—a radio edit produced by DJ Jonathan Peters, and the album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino.
 * music critics. Some praised → music critics, with some of the praising
 * edit, while reviews generally criticized → edit, but generally criticizing
 * was a success in Japan → experienced success in Japan (due to fancruft)
 * 300,000 unit → plural
 * Word repetition through "units"; use copies in one case
 * An accompanying music video → An accompanying music video for the recording
 * which featured → with it portraying
 * laboratory, surrounded → remove comma
 * conducted → released
 * link "remix and greatest hits compilations" to respective articles on Wikipedia.

Infobox

 * Digital download → no capital letter
 * Dance music → Dance + isn't it just the genre of the remix?
 * Avex Entertainment Inc. → Avex

Background and release

 * There are two versions of "Kanariya"; a radio edit that was remixed and produed by American DJ Jonathan Peters, and an album version composed by Yasuhiko Hoshino. → same as in the lead
 * is heavily influenced throughout Hamasaki's → heavily influences Hamasaki's
 * add comma after "studio album"
 * Loveppears (1999), and also → Loveappears (1999); the track also
 * keyboards by Peter → keyboards managed by Peter
 * and eventually → and was eventually
 * Word repetition through "song" at the end of the first para.
 * limiting physical sales units to 300,000 copies. → same as in the lead
 * The CD format → The physical format (to avoid repetitions)
 * 13 → thirteen
 * 11 of which → of which eleven
 * "Kanariya", plus a remix for Hamasaki's tracks "Two of Us" and "From the Letter"; the former appeared on her debut studio album A Song for ×× (1999), whilst the latter was included as a B-side track for her single "Depend on You". → "Kanariya", also incorporating a remix for Hamasaki's tracks "Two of Us" and "From the Letter". While the former appeared on her debut studio album, A Song for xx (1999), the latter was...
 * Remove "Then on"
 * 12" inch vinyl; the vinyl include → 12" inch vinyl, including
 * Peters' → Peters
 * The artwork → The single's artwork
 * The CD did not include a booklet, so the photograph immolated as a picture disc but did feature a clear plastic sheet that featured information about the single → The physical version of "Kanariya" failed to included a booklet, which resulted in the cover sleeve being immolated as a picture disc, featuring an emphasised plastic sheet with information on the single.
 * ✅. I didn't change the numerals to worded numbers; I personally do that only above 10.

Reception

 * commending → acclaiming
 * link "R&B"
 * However, when reviewing the CD single, the review stated → When reviewing the CD single, the website stated,
 * a member at → a member of
 * but criticised → but criticized
 * labeled → labelled (the first one is American English)
 * the single was a success in Japan → same as in the lead
 * first week of sales → first week of availability
 * It lasted → "Kanariya" lasted (word rep.)
 * on the top 200 → within the top 200
 * one of Hamasaki's → marking one of Hamasaki's
 * lowest spanning → lowest-spanning
 * but was her only limited single from Loveppears to reach atop → This can be left out, as it's overfluous.
 * it debuted at number one → it opened atop (word rep.)
 * Connect last two sentences from the first para with ", lasting..."
 * in the top 100 → within the top 100
 * it had sold → the recording had sold
 * word repetition through "ranked" in second para
 * However, in 1999, it ranked at number 84 on TBS' Annual Chart. → Include this info one sentence earlier, but not with "However,"
 * the single was → the track was (word rep.)
 * her 29th highest selling → the singer's 29th highest-selling
 * data base → database

Music video and promotion

 * Jonathan Peters → Peters (never write full names twice)
 * The video features → The visual portrays (word rep.)
 * laboratory, surrounded with → laboratory, being surrounded by
 * Throughout the song → Throughout the music video
 * I decided to edit the rest of the issues with the music video para by myself
 * promoted on → promoted through
 * conducted → released
 * It has been → It has additionally been
 * Word repetition through "Hamasaki"
 * remove "that being"
 * It was specially → "Kanariya" was specially (word rep.)
 * remove "remix" from "remix extended play"

Personnel

 * Rename section into "Credits and personnel"
 * the CD liner notes of "Kanariya"; → the liner notes of the single's physical release.

Charts

 * Remove "Weekly chart" and "Weekly" from the charts

Release history

 * Unlink labels and formats

Outcome
I've put this for 7 days in order to allow edits to the article. Good luck and best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:30, 27 September 2016 (UTC)
 * ✅ all adjustments. Thank you for the review, . CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk &middot;&#32;contribs} 23:09, 27 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Passing! Cheers, Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:55, 28 September 2016 (UTC)