Talk:Karabakh Khanate/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 12:48, 19 August 2023 (UTC)

Happy to review this article. AM

Lead section / infobox

 * The lead section should be reduced in size. See MOS:LEADLENGTH - with just less than 34,000 characters, the article is recommended to have a length of no more than four paragraphs.
 * It hurts to remove info, but I've trimmed it down a bit. It is four paragraphs now. Thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:10, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
 * It's an improvement, thank you! AM


 * Unlink Iranian; Russian (MOS:OL) and these countries never existed then).
 * I've changed the Iran link to History of Iran and kept the Russian Empire, as the Karabakh khanate was controlled by three kingdoms of Iran and the Russian Empire, thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:10, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Not a problem now. AM


 * (Not GA) The useful map in the infobox does lack a scale, and the colours of the neighbouring countries would imo be better having their own colours. I would perhaps add an inset map to indicate the position of the khanate in relation to modern national boundaries. Need any assistance?	 Amitchell125 (talk) 08:41, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi Amitchell125. Thanks for yet another review, I highly appreciate it. When making the map, I did initially give the neighbouring countries their own color, but I thought it made the map look a bit convoluted and made the Karabakh Khanate domain look less noticeable. A inset map sounds good though, and I'll gladly accept assistance for that, as I dunno how to make one. --HistoryofIran (talk) 12:18, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Fell free to use this version of the map, based on your excellent work. Amitchell125 (talk) 11:40, 27 August 2023 (UTC)

1 Background

 * Iranian Armenia or Eastern Armenia – if there are two versions of the name, why are there two separate articles? Ditto Ottoman Armenia or Western Armenia.
 * Iranian Armenia and Ottoman Armenia "only" covers the early modern period	when they were ruled by Iran and the Ottoman Empire, whilst the Eastern Armenia and Western Armenia cover a larger period. --HistoryofIran (talk) 14:07, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Understood. AM


 * 11th-century – has no hyphens. Ditto other examples elsewhere.
 * the Turko-Persian name Karabakh – I would put Karabakh in italics here, as it is an introduced term.
 * of area - ‘of the area’.
 * the Ottoman Empire (c. 1299–1922) and Safavid Iran (1501–1736) – the dates are imo unneeded.
 * Respectfully I find these to nice to have, so that the reader can get an idea when these kingdoms were around, à la when we add the regnal period for rulers. --HistoryofIran (talk) 23:06, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Understood. AM


 * Might a map of the South Causacus be useful here (e.g. this?
 * I added this instead . I do have a much more detailed map in the works, which I plan to have as the image instead. Thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:13, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Good for now. AM


 * there is no contemporary portrait of Panah Ali Khan, but perhaps this image could be incorporated into the section.
 * I'm personally not a fan of that image, too fictional for my taste, and I think the current image of the Shusha fortress is more relevant/better here. --HistoryofIran (talk) 13:36, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I quite understand. AM

2.1 Panah Ali Khan

 * ally – ‘form an alliance’ sounds better imo.
 * by five - ‘by the five’.
 * in most of Iran – ‘across most of Iran’.

2.2	Ibrahim Khalil Khan

 * Introduce Grigory Potemkin.
 * in various places is redundant imo.


 * Link cavalry.
 * he made an attempt – who is being referred to here?
 * through boats - ‘by using boats’ sounds better.
 * restored  ‘rebuilt’.
 * subsequently is redundant imo.


 * Link Persian; Armenian.
 * Introduce Pavel Tsitsianov.
 * (Not GA) thirty - ‘30’? (for the sake of consistency)
 * "betrayal," - misplaced comma.

2.3 Mehdi Qoli Khan

 * Russian emperor – ‘tsar’.
 * Like this? --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:15, 27 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Amended it myself to save time, please revert if you don't like it. Amitchell125 (talk) 11:29, 27 August 2023 (UTC)


 * a major letdown – sounds too informal/idiomatic, I would amend the start of this sentence to something like ‘The Iranians were disillusioned by the treaty’.
 * to abolish the khanates – consider amending to something like ‘to eradicate the khanates’, to avoid repeating abolish.
 * Changed it to "In 1822, Mehdi Qoli Khan fled to Iran as a result of the attempts by the Russian general Aleksey Petrovich Yermolov to abolish the khanates, which occurred afterwards". Thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 13:25, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks OK. AM


 * lived for the rest of his days collecting a state pension – ‘retired’.

3 Building activity

 * states – ‘stated’, as the writer is no longer alive.
 * in large fortress-towns – ‘in a large fortress-town’.

4 Coinage

 * Link minted (Mint (facility)); numismatists; obverse (Obverse and reverse); toponym (Toponymy).
 * shahi – should be in italics and placed inside Template:lang. Ditto rupia.
 * The words in italics need to be placed inside Template:lang as well.
 * According to the numismatists Alexander Akopyan and Pavel Petrov - are these individuals notable enough to be mentioned here? (If yes, link numismatists.)
 * I would add a comma after toponym.
 * under the name of Fath-Ali Shah – could be simplified to ‘under Fath-Ali Shah’.
 * Changed it to "in the name of Fath-Ali Shah", as his name was inscribed there, and it was not just under his rule. --HistoryofIran (talk) 13:34, 25 August 2023 (UTC)

5 Demographics

 * are either – ‘were either’,

7 Administration

 * Link rolls (Scroll).
 * Removed "rolls". --HistoryofIran (talk) 22:57, 26 August 2023 (UTC)


 * use the example – ‘uses the example’.

8 Historiography

 * Link chronicles; Soviet historiography Historiography in the Soviet Union); feudal (Feudalism).
 * 20th-century – has no hyphen.

9 Notes

 * the siege of their capital, Isfahan – consider moving the first link so that it covers all this text.

11 Sources

 * Bournoutian, George (1980); Bournoutian, George (1999); Matthee, Rudi (2011); Reid, James J. (1978) are not used as sources in the article. These sources need to be deleted or perhaps moved to a Further reading section.

Spot checks looked fine.

On hold
I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 2 September to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:18, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I've tried to address everything. Thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:15, 27 August 2023 (UTC)

Passing
Passing the article now, an interesting, if quite tricky (for me) read. Please feel free to replace your map with my version. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 11:41, 27 August 2023 (UTC)