Talk:Karma Man/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:58, 21 March 2022 (UTC)

Looks like I'll be the one moving forward with this review! --K. Peake 08:58, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Man it's been so long since I wrote this I almost forgot about it. Guess I gotta get back into Bowie mode for a sec xD – zmbro (talk) (cont) 02:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Infobox looks good!
 * "of Bowie's career." → "of the singer's career."
 * Changed to 'artist's' since he was more than a singer – zmbro (talk) (cont) 02:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC)


 * The music sentence should be before the meaning one since this is the correct order, also maybe Buddhist themes should be changed to something else in this sentence when the order is switched for context?
 * As far as I know there's no written rule saying music info has to come first. Plus, having it this way follows how I structured the comp section, and as is it properly introduces the Buddhist themes, as least imo – zmbro (talk) (cont) 02:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC)


 * Pipe compilation to Compilation album
 * Done


 * "on Bowie at the Beeb in 2000." → "on his compilation album, Bowie at the Beeb (2000)." to be less repetitive
 * How about "the 2000 compilation Bowie at the Beeb? – zmbro (talk) (cont) 02:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Yeah that works. --K. Peake 11:16, 23 March 2022 (UTC)


 * Remove English rock band introduction to Suede and the years of the songs, as this is not notable info for the lead
 * Done


 * Remove the same session part because this is implied
 * Done


 * "with the entire Toy album" → "with the entire project" and maybe add a sentence about the single release afterwards?
 * Nah I don't think the latter's necessary. If I recall correctly I don't think I did that for the other Toy tracks released as singles (i.e. CHTAM) – zmbro (talk) (cont) 02:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC)

Background and recording

 * Img looks good!
 * Mention the release year of Bowie's self-titled album
 * Done


 * "turned it down" → "turned the offer down"
 * Done


 * "after Bowie's desire to write" → "after his desire to write" unless this term means "after he had a desire to write..." then reword appropriately (I can't see the original source so do not know this)
 * The latter, done


 * "and Visconti's then-wife Siegrid," → "and Tony's then-wife Siegrid Visconti," per MOS:SAMESURNAME
 * Done


 * "Visconti later expressed" → "Tony Visconti later expressed"
 * Done

Composition

 * "from his debut album," → "from David Bowie,"
 * Done


 * "Featuring an homage to" → "Featuring a homage to"
 * Done


 * "More positive in tone" is referring to an interview not the song, so this part should be reworded to reflect that
 * This part is referring to the song. – zmbro (talk) (cont) 02:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
 * The sentence should be worded to reflect this then --K. Peake 11:16, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Moved it to the prior sentence – zmbro (talk) (cont) 16:16, 26 March 2022 (UTC)


 * The penultimate sentence of the first para should have the ref at the end of it per quotes being used
 * Done, all stated by O'Leary


 * Pipe sharps to Sharp (music)
 * Done


 * "is mostly in" → "is mostly set in"
 * Done


 * Pipe string arrangement to String section
 * Done

Release and aftermath

 * Pipe compilation to Compilation album
 * Done


 * "and sung to the melody" → "being sung to the melody" or "and is sung to the melody", depending on if it is these words or the whole song
 * Done


 * The ref should also be invoked after the above sentence because there is a quote used
 * Those are lyrics. All confirmed by Pegg – zmbro (talk) (cont) 02:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
 * The lyrics are directly quoted, meaning the ref needs to be invoked. --K. Peake 11:16, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Done – zmbro (talk) (cont) 16:16, 26 March 2022 (UTC)


 * Mention Suede's debut album being self-titled
 * Done


 * "in 1993, which generated publicity" → "in 1993; this generated publicity" to be less repetitive
 * Done

Toy version

 * Infobox looks good!
 * "Bowie wrote and recorded" → "he wrote and recorded"
 * Done


 * "so to prevent" → "as so to prevent"
 * Done


 * Remove the online leak because it is notable when this song was not leaked, especially when the one article notes two did not leak
 * Done, I think? A little confused by this wording. – zmbro (talk) (cont) 16:16, 26 March 2022 (UTC)

Personnel

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed! --K. Peake 12:48, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
 * I have left responses in some areas where we had disagreements. --K. Peake 11:16, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Sorry for the holdup Kyle. Should be good now – zmbro (talk) (cont) 16:16, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, the copyvio score for the RS ref was slightly over 40% but this was such a minor violation that I brought the score down by merely changing the introduction to the quote. --K. Peake 21:22, 26 March 2022 (UTC)