Talk:Katy Perry/GA4

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk · contribs) 10:33, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Thank you Peter for taking this review :). XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:28, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Of course buddy :)-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   19:40, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * When can the review be expected to begin? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 19:54, 22 May 2014 (UTC)

Peter's Review
References and general
 * I don't mind Yahoo! articles written by Grein on chart stats from Nielsen etc. However... A Yahoo! blog is not sufficient to claim her net worth.
 * Before I remove/replace it, got any better sources for her net worth? Forbes is only displaying her yearly earnings and not her actual net worth. There's this (which is noted for being unreliable) and this (which could be questionable). Yahoo! was the best I could find at the time I added it. I'm hesitant to have net worth empty, as her financial earnings have been prominent in recent years. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, net worth/album-single sales/tour stuff - anything that can/will be inflated or misquoted by fans/for promotional purposes - need strong journalistic backing.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   13:47, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Removed due to lack of sufficient sourcing. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 21:20, 24 May 2014 (UTC)

*Seem to have a typo in Ref #1
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * What makes #19 reliable?
 * It is an interview with Katy. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Doesn't look very credible. How do we know it's even real/not altered?-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   13:47, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * I don't see how it's appropriate whatsoever to have YouTube as a source in a GA high profile article (there are several instances).
 * Any particular reason? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * There are several. Videos can be easily manipulated (both audio and visuals). Here is further reading on the matter. No YouTube/Facebook/Twitter sources will be acceptable (critical analysis on her popularity on said platforms will, of course, be OK.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   13:47, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Inconsistencies in ref formatting (see #s 15 & 38, both Rolling Stone).
 * Fixed Rolling Stone refs XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * See issues apply with using Facebook/Twitter etc.
 * Not sure what the problem is if they're her from own official Facebook/Twitter accounts..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * See above. Can easily be replaced with a credible source. An artist's page is not reliable nor third-party.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   13:47, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Definitely not third-party, though I disagree about an artist's own official page being unreliable. A fan's Facebook/Twitter would most certainly unreliable, though. In any case, replacing..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 21:35, 25 May 2014 (UTC)

*Forbes' editor is Steve Forbes, not the publisher. The company is Forbes Inc. You can pick whether you want to include it or not.
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref #103 seems to be missing some parameters
 * Added missing accessdate XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * What makes Ref #113 reliable?
 * I can see how one would question Entertainmentwise, though it isn't grossly unreliable..... in any case, removed. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Do you not have any better sources for her tour/dates than these cheesy ticketmaster sites?
 * Will look for replacements. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:35, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Replaced. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 09:11, 27 May 2014 (UTC)

*Ref #120 has some issues
 * Fixed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref #121 not consistent with other Billboard format used (same for #125 etc).
 * Fixed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * What makes #129 a high quality and journalistic critic/review? Same for #s 149 & 151 & 153..
 * Removed all. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref #136 is missing some parameters and inconsistent with other newspaper formats used
 * Fixed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref #144 has some issues
 * How does it look now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * I don't know how I feel about "AskMen".. It's not really an encyclopedic and credible source/tally/opinion
 * They're a relationship/sex advice site, though I can see why some might have questions about it. Should this be removed? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * I think so. Seems trivial.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   13:47, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref #159.. Flavor Flav?
 * Sorry, an IP trolled the Maxim page but now fixed to Dan Bova. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * What makes #178 reliable? Or #220?
 * There was never a ref#220 before this review began, please give name of the ref you mean? #178 is an auction site, but I'll look for something better than TradeMe. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The rest looks OK from a glace. Prose and more to come.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   20:13, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Look forward to it :D. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 23:04, 22 May 2014 (UTC)

Lead/Infobox
 * Don't you think it would be appropriate to list some of her thuper duper frequent collaborators by "Associated acts?
 * The only acts that frequently collaborate with her are producers/co-writers, and I'm not sure they would qualify for "Associated acts". Anyone else's thoughts? S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)

XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:30, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Pick US or U.S. - not both.
 * ✅, I am assisting with this G.A. Happy 2 Help!--Shane Cyrus (talk) 13:55, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Look who found themselves on yet another page that has nothing to do with them...-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   14:04, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She was born near Santa Barbara, California and primarily grew up there before moving to Los Angeles -> I think it would read best to mention her birth and then continue onto "moving to LA to pursue a career in the entertainment industry etc." or something of the like
 * ✅I've added "to pursue a career in the music industry." at the end. S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * You missed my point partly. I find "primarily grew up there as well" to be superfluous. You improved it, but it needs a bit more tightening.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   06:42, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * There's another issue too. The way it is now implies that she moved to LA before releasing her gospel album, when in fact she didn't move there until a year later, in 2002. I've reworded that paragraph. S△M   talk  15:26, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Per best read, "as a result of her limited exposure to mainstream music during her upbringing" should be at the end of the sentence.


 * pursue a career in the music industry. She pursued a career in -> Now you've replaced it with another issue. "In 2001, Perry released her debut [...]
 * She later recorded a collaborative album with The Matrix and a solo album she worked on with Glen Ballard, the latter of which was never released. -> This sentence is kind of iffy. Lose later. Also, she released the collaborative album. It reads as though both were recorded, however never released. Definitely could use some improvement.
 * ✅ Tried to fix this but not sure if I've made it even more complex in all honesty. Anyone else is free to change it again. S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Better, but can still be tightened and improved further.

*She rose to prominence -> Prominence is kind of vague (I know what you mean). Maybe "top of pop music"? Just my opinion honestly.
 * Maybe rose to fame? I'm not sure how to word that one. S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * I went with "rose to fame". XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:47, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * with the release of her single "I Kissed a Girl" followed by her second album, One of the Boys (2008), -> Maybe taken from her second album. I don't know why it was written as though they are separate entities.
 * I think it's because the single was released before the album, so it's clarifying that the album came later. S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Yes, that is why. I'm fine with "from One of the Boys". XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:47, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * which is predominantly pop rock. -> Awkwardly written. Weird shift in tense (rose, is).
 * ✅ Made it a separate sentence.
 * from her second album, One of the Boys (2008). The album is predominantly pop rock. -> repetitive, small and choppy prose. Not enough.

*Perry's third record, Teenage Dream (2010), -> record is vague. Could mean a single.
 * ✅ Changed to "album".


 * Billboard Hot 100 -> Link Billboard and Hot 100 (separately).


 * Teenage Dream became the first album recorded by a female artist -> recorded seems superfluous


 * in history -> A bit weird. Really only Billboard's history
 * ✅ Removed that part.


 * All these genres should be linked (especially as most of them aren't even listed in the infobox).
 * ✅ Linked all the genres.


 * she re-released Teenage Dream as Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection, -> repetitive. Maybe just the album


 * In March 2012, she re-released Teenage Dream as Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection, which contained the number-one single "Part of Me". -> This sentence in general lacks proper structure.
 * ✅ Changed it a bit, but not sure if it's any better. Anyone else is welcome to rethink that sentence. S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Can use effort as well (instead of only album) etc.
 * The album was originally planned to be darker than Perry's previous material, but ultimately became influenced by Swedish dance music and focuses heavily on self-empowerment. -> Darker is a bit vague. It was planned to be darker? I mean what does that even mean? became influenced, focuses heavily. Awkward.
 * ✅ Removed the "darker" sentence as it's not really relevant enough to be mentioned in the lead. Also removed "focuses heavily on self-empowerment" for the same reason. Perhaps the album's genres could be mentioned as with the other albums? S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Numerous is problematic and POV
 * including eleven Grammy nominations and Billboard dubbed her as -> Total shift hooked together by and.. reads very awkwardly
 * ✅ Split into two sentences.
 * Could be much better (still an improvement). Though album, album, nomination, nomination is getting somewhat tiresome.

*the US
 * ✅ Should "the" be there? I'm assuming so, added it.


 * at #14 -> ranker her #14


 * top moneymakers? I get that's what they call it, but unless it's in quotations, earners would be better.


 * her 3D -> a


 * better words to describe her fallout with Brand than "breakdown".
 * ✅ Changed to "ending".
 * I think the dissolution of her marriage is best.
 * No problem. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 15:26, 24 May 2014 (UTC)

*Early November 2013 -> I think we're being a bit to specific.
 * ✅ Changed to just "November 2013".


 * and 81 million singles worldwide and her singles are some of the best-selling worldwide. -> A lot of ands. Reads kind of poorly. In general a lot of sentences use and in an attempt to hook poor prose together

Perry has sold more than 11 million albums and 81 million singles worldwide, with her singles being some of the best-selling.[7][8] As of May 2014, she holds the record for most quintuple-platinum certified singles in the United States, with six holding the certification. -> Too much man. Just record after stat after stat hits you in the face. Trim and fix.
 * she holds the record for most 5x platinum singles in the United States, -> Reads poorly. That aside, I think quintuple-platinum certified would be better.
 * ✅ Changed to "quintuple-platinum certified". Not sure how else to word the sentence, anyone else is free to try. S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Better but.. certified.. certification.


 * with six of her singles reaching the achievement. -> confusing. Just plain bad.
 * ✅ Tried altering it slightly, still not sure about it though. I'll leave it to someone else to give it a try. S△M   talk  19:06, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * More to come.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   13:47, 23 May 2014 (UTC)

Early life
 * Her younger brother David is the lead singer of the band Hudson. -> You should introduce him and other siblings first
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She and David -> kind of iffy
 * How about just "She has" or "She also has"? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Keith is of English descent while Mary is of Irish, Portuguese, English, and German descent. -> Jumping around too much. Finish introducing her parents and their origins, then move on to siblings etc.
 * See how it looks now XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * As children, she and her siblings attended religious schools and camps, including Santa Barbara Christian School for their elementary years. -> As children, they (no need to always put she and siblings). One of which was SBCS
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * While moving around the country and frequently changing schools, -> I see while is being overused. Maybe "Perry found [] difficult, often losing []. Switch it up a bit. Quickly seems unnecessary.
 * I've TNT'd it. Any better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She describes herself as sometimes feeling "out of place" during the early part of her childhood. -> She described herself as feeling.
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * A lot of repetition. While, As a child, Growing up. We get it. You're describing her life as a young girl.
 * Removed excess uses. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry's family lived in poverty and "barely got by" while she was growing up
 * Not sure what your comment here is..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She described -> again
 * Gone XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She revealed that sometimes they would eat from the same food bank intended to feed the congregation at her parents' church, and took use of food stamps at one point. She described feeling "embarrassed" of her family's financial struggles as a child. -> Reads poorlyy. Listen, you are the journalist here. You don't need to preface everything with "she described" "according to". Stick with facts as you're the author. Perry often found herself eating []
 * TNT'd XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Growing up, she and her siblings were "sheltered from the 'secular world'" and all of their friends were from churches or religious schools. -> again. More of the friends stuff. It's a bit all over the place
 * Any better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry described
 * .....?..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * For example? -> Not journalistic.
 * Removed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Her brother David recalled. Repetitive. You've introduced David as her brother several times already
 * Removed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * and would watch the music channel at her friends' houses without her parents' knowledge, which led to her discovery of most popular music. -> That last part is a bit run-on
 * Trimmed that fucker down. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry initially sang during a phase of "copycatting" her sister Angela -> Totally confusing and poorly written
 * I'm guessing that "Perry initially started singing because she was in the middle of a phase where she was "copycatting" her sister Angela." would be even worse, but am not entirely sure how to TNT this..... for now, going with "Perry started singing while "copycatting" Angela." XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Growing up, she often took cassette tapes -> more of then same
 * Gone XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * cassette tapes Angela practiced with and did likewise. -> not good
 * Rewrote XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Why did Angela have different treatment? I thought they were all equally sheltered
 * They didn't have different treatment, unless you count being copied as different treatment :P XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She performed them in front of their parents, who suggested she take vocal coaching. -> performed them? What? She performed cassettes? Also, you don't take vocal training. You take classes or are vocally trained. She was vocally trained, she received vocal training
 * Clarified to "performed the tracks" and changed to "suggested she take vocal classes" XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The next 3 sentences start with she. That's an indication of weak prose
 * How so? I changed one of them, though. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * performed in various churches and then at restaurants and coffeehouses. -> run-on. Poor punctuation
 * How about simply "performed in public"? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * during that time -> during that period
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She also
 * .....?..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:22, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Overall this section really requires a lot of tightening.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   23:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Hope it's better now XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:28, 26 May 2014 (UTC)

1999-2006
 * Perry's church vocals attracted -> Could mean her gospel-flavored vocals, could mean her actual vocals during service.
 * changed to "singing" XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * and left school in the pursuit of a career in music. -> try to better incorporate this into the sentence
 * Should be better now XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Link Italian Opera
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * was taught by country music veterans -> a bit repetitive. Needs tightening
 * cropped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry signed to the Christian music label Red Hill Records. She recorded and released her debut album, titled Katy Hudson, on March 6, 2001-> choppy. Merge/fix up
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She supported this album with The Strangely Normal Tour along with Phil Joel -> She embarked on a tour in support of the album....
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She shifted away from gospel music towards pop and rock -> She waned from [...], and began traversing into....
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Having grown up listening to mostly gospel music, she had few references when she began recording songs. -> repetitive
 * cropped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Asked by a producer with whom she would like to collaborate, Perry said she had no idea. -> poor
 * scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She first heard about producer Glen Ballard after turning on VH1 and watching him talking about Alanis Morissette one night in September 2002, prompting her interest in working with him. He had produced Morissette's Jagged Little Pill, which had a "huge influence" on her. -> awkward. Merge/punctuate/fix up
 * cropped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * After she became interested in working with Ballard, the two met in Los Angeles, California. -> weak
 * TNT'd XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry presented one of her songs to Ballard, who then helped develop her songwriting over the next few years. -> needs work. Over the next few year, [...]
 * TNT'd XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry subsequently decided to leave her home for Los Angeles in the hopes of pursuing a music career. -> repetitive. trivial
 * cropped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * In 2003, she briefly performed as "Katheryn Perry" to avoid confusion with actress Kate Hudson before adopting the stage name "Katy Perry". -> punctuation
 * Touched up XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * after Ballard showed her music to executives at the label. -> kind of redundant. Consider re-wording
 * rephrased XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The same year, -> that
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * However, according to Perry, the label at Columbia Records was not amenable with her vision and did not give her full creative control. Instead, one of Columbia's ideas was to pair her with the record production team The Matrix, who was working on an album, to serve as its female vocalist. -> Change it to encyclopedic writing. Perry felt the label, Columbia didn't share her vision etc.
 * nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * At eighty percent completion, however, Columbia decided not to finish it. -> At roughly 80% completion, Columbia halted production....
 * nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The album ended up being shelved. -> hook that on above
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Her burgeoning music career led to her being named "The Next Big Thing" in October 2004 by Blender magazine. -> consider re-wording. You just said her first attempt at an album was shelved, now she's all of a sudden got a 'promising and blooming career'?
 * nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * A solo album she had worked on with Ballard was scheduled for release on August 18, 2005 but was cancelled and Perry was subsequently dropped from Columbia Records -> poor.
 * revamped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * "Simple", one of the songs she recorded with Ballard, -> repetitive
 * cropped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * What does "I Do Not Hook Up" have to do with Perry?
 * Scrapped, though it was originally her song before Kelly took it XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * While waiting to find another label, she worked in an independent A&R company called Taxi Music. -> weak
 * Not quite sure how to TNT this one..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * In early 2006, she sang backing vocals on P.O.D.'s single "Goodbye for Now" and was featured in the music video -> she provided background vocals and appeared in the music video for [..]
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Late that November, she played the love interest of her then-boyfriend Gym Class Heroes lead singer Travie McCoy in the band's music video for "Cupid's Chokehold" -> needs tightening. Late that November reads poorly-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   02:05, 28 May 2014 (UTC)
 * trimmed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:31, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

Breakthrough
 * Link Virgin Records
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:48, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * At the time Flom was leading -> at the time, Flom
 * see below XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:48, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * At the time Flom was leading a complete revival in fortunes at the label and looking to crown recent achievements by breaking a global pop act. -> super confusing
 * nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:48, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Despite mixed reactions from fellow Virgin executives, Flom became convinced that Perry could be a breakthrough star and as a result, Perry was signed to the newly created Capitol Music Group, a merger between Virgin and Capitol, in April 2007 -> weak, run-on sentence. Consider trimming and re-writing. Also 'mixed reaction'
 * revamped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:48, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * As part of the deal, the label secured the masters to the unfinished album, recorded while at Columbia, that would go on to form a significant part of her album One of the Boys. -> big problems here. What album? You haven't properly introduced anything. Needs a lot of work
 * scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:48, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Since executives felt the album was lacking an "undeniable smash or two", they arranged for her to collaborate with producer Dr. Luke. -> There was nothing leading up to this. No discussion on the album whatsoever, and now boom it's all here? TNT this paragraph mate.
 * The two co-wrote her songs "I Kissed a Girl" and "Hot n Cold". A campaign was started with the November 2007 release of the video to "Ur So Gay", aimed at introducing her to the music market and establishing her image. A digital EP led by "Ur So Gay" was later released to create online buzz and press story.[2][24] Madonna helped publicize "Ur So Gay" by praising the track on the JohnJay & Rich show in April 2008 and encouraging listeners to purchase and listen to it.[25] -> More TNT. I need you to first introduce her work on the album, then the Columbia-Virgin shift, then the collaborations, then the releases. This section up until now needs to go boom-boom-boom ;)
 * "I Kissed a Girl" was released on April 28, 2008 as the album's lead single. -> Again, you haven't really made it clear what album or where it all of a sudden came from
 * specified XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 14:09, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Her A&R, Chris Anokute, told HitQuarters the song and its controversial theme had been met with strong resistance at the label. Anokute said that they needed the support of one of the label's radio promoters; otherwise, she would have likely been dropped again. -> very poor read
 * scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 21:25, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry also performed backing vocals on the song "Another Night in the Hills" from Gavin Rossdale's solo album Wanderlust, which was released in early June 2008. -> just a random trivial fact that was poorly introduced. Doesn't really belong here (at least not like that)
 * scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:55, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * "I Kissed a Girl" reached the number one position in the United States, and proceeded to top the Billboard Hot 100 for seven consecutive weeks -> redundant. Reached number one on the US Billboard Hot 100
 * cropped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 17:57, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The song also became Perry's first number one single in many other countries, including the United Kingdom, Germany, Canada, and Australia. Perry's second album One of the Boys was released on June 17, 2008, to mixed critical reviews.[28] The album reached number nine on the Billboard 200. -> she never had a number 1 period. Needs a lot of work
 * rewrote XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 13:55, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The fourth paragraph is just a big mess
 * Any better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 11:08, 29 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Link Matrix and their album separately
 * Neither need to be linked anyway, since both are now linked in previous section S△M   talk  16:19, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The Matrix's self-titled debut album, which features Perry, was later released via the team's label Let's Hear It during Perry's solo tour as a result of her success. -> poor
 * TNT'd XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 11:08, 29 May 2014 (UTC)


 * When the release date was scheduled, "I Kissed a Girl" had been charting well. Matrix member Lauren Christy spoke to Perry about the decision, but she wanted to hold the release until the fourth single of One of the Boys had been dispatched. Despite their communication, The Matrix was released onto iTunes on January 27, 2009 -> run-on, confusing
 * Cleaned this bit up S△M   talk  16:19, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The following month, she was featured on a remix of Colorado-based band 3OH!3's song "Starstrukk", the idea for the collaboration having come after Perry's tour that featured 3OH!3 as the supporting act. -> the latter part isn't fitted well into the sentence
 * scrapped that bit XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 14:09, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * In general mate. TNT and really dissect this section.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   11:11, 28 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Trimmed this fucker down, Peter. Hope it's explooooooodddeed enough now. Anything else needed before going to the next section? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 11:08, 29 May 2014 (UTC)

Teenage Dream
 * Perry appeared as a guest judge alongside Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, and Louis Walsh during the Dublin audition stage of the seventh series of the English television show The X Factor on June 28, 2010. -> reads fine. Needs some punctuation
 * Where at? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The album received generally mixed reviews from music critics, and has since been certified 2x platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America -> References needed for international positions, as well as critical analysis. Also, 'double-platinum' (spell out when under 2 digits.
 * now spelled out XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Link RIAA
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Maybe skip all the fluff and just list the album's sales at 5.7 million?
 * Just trimmed it down to Billboard debut XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Female artist
 * added XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * A lot of the claims here are lacking references (I know they are true)
 * Should be better now XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The song is Perry's highest selling single in the United States as of May 2014. -> At 5m, the song remains [..]
 * Better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * On February 20, 2011, a few days after the release of "E.T." -> redundant. You already listed ETs date in the previous sentence
 * Fixed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Spanning 124 shows [..], the California [..] grossed [..]
 * should be better now XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * breaking the chart's previous record -> redundant
 * removed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * On June 6, the album's fifth single, "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)", was released. -> choppy, misplaced
 * Is "One June 6, "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) was released as the album's fifth single" better? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry became the first female artist to achieve five number one Hot 100 songs from one album when "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)" topped the Billboard Hot 100 on August 17, 2011, and the second artist after Michael Jackson with his 1987 album Bad. -> since you're listing this, it's not necessary to mention the 9 years record and all others prior etc.
 * Not seeing any mention of a 9-year-record for anybody in here..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The week of September 17, with single "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)", marked Perry's record-breaking 69th consecutive week in the Top 10 -> re-write
 * Nuked..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * which was extended to October 2 -> trivial. Didn't mention its original end date either
 * Scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * On October 4, 2011, "The One That Got Away" was released as the sixth and final single from Teenage Dream, peaking at three on the Hot 100. -> repetitive. Maybe, "with the release of [..], Teenage Dreambecame the [..]
 * Better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * the most by any album and setting a new record in the chart -> obvious
 * Scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry's work on the episode received generally positive reviews from critics, who praised her comedic timing and the episode's digital short which featured Perry and Andy Samberg, however some critics noted that Perry's performance in the episode was overshadowed by cast regular Kristen Wiig. -> run-on, too much info
 * Cut it the hell down XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Her second fragrance, Meow!, was released shortly afterwards -> not really encyclopedic
 * On December 14, 2011, Forbes ranked her #3 on their "Top-Earning Women In Music" 2011 with $44 million.[59] Also that December, she was elected the Artist of the Year by MTV -> I think the Forbes is enough. 'Forbes ranked Perry [...]
 * (Reluctantly) scrapped MTV bit XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * That month, later that month.
 * .....?..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The California Dreams Tour also concluded on January 22, 2012. -> Why also? Random fact
 * Removed "also" XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * In March, Billboard ranked Perry number fourteen on their 2011 list of top 40 earners, grossing nearly $12 million. -> We just said Forbes ranked er 2011 earnings at 44 mil?
 * Looking here, seems to be how much she grossed during California Dreams Tour (even though there's other figures saying more than that from Billboard itself). Scrap? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * This last paragraph is very repetitive. Needs to be tnt'ed
 * Hope it's now better XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * On March 23, Teenage Dream was re-released under the title Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection. "Wide Awake" was released on May 22 as the second and final single from The Complete Confection, peaking at number two on the Hot 100 -> extra/repetitive. Released, released. You introduced the re-release twice
 * Better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * positive critical reviews -> not proper
 * changed to "positive reviews"XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She also made 2013 Guinness Book of World Records as the first female to earn five Billboard number-one singles from an album -> sounds familiar..
 * Indeed it is, though I've reworded it now. Admittedly, I originally thought it would've been in 2012 Guinness when I first heard about her getting 5 #1's :P XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Again. Very repetitious with dates, amounts, facts etc.
 * Any better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)

Prism
 * Perry told Billboard in Fall 2012 about Prism: -> In fall 2012, Perry [...]
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * she began work on the album in November 2012 and finished in July 2013. -> revise
 * rewrote XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Killer Queen was released as her third fragrance in August 2013 through Coty, Inc.[80] "Roar" was released as the lead single from Prism on August 10, 2013 -> repetitive/tiresome read
 * It debuted a week before the album was released on August 20, 2013. -> It debuted? Where? Choppy. Repetitive grammar
 * Tried to reword it..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She closed the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards with her first live performance of "Roar" on August 25, 2013 under the Brooklyn Bridge. -> revise
 * Nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Although Perry told L'Uomo Vogue in June 2012 that she planned to have "darker elements" in Prism,[84] she revealed to MTV during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards that she changed the concept of the album after she "let the light in" through self-reflection and self-help. She said "I felt very prismatic because of that" and stated that "it's almost like I get to beam the colors that I've experienced out from me", which inspired her to name the album Prism. -> run-on/revise
 * Nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * On September 4, 2013, Billboard announced that "Roar" reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100. -> .....
 * Think I found the fault (lemme know if I didn't) XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * where she also performed "Roar". -> why also? First song you listed. Better 'She performed 'Roar'
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * "Unconditionally" was released as the album's second single on October 16, 2013.[88] The next day, Prism became available for streaming online. -> revise
 * removed streaming info, reworded other portion somewhat XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Prism was released on October 18, 2013. In the United States, it debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart, selling 286,000 copies in its first week -> The writing can be worlds better
 * Tried to reword it..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * On October 22, Perry performed Prism tracks for the first time at the iHeartRadio Theater in Los Angeles. -> not really true. Revise. Maybe 'Perry debuted'
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The repetitive sentence structure (dates/On[..], she)
 * Not quite sure (yet) how to fix it up..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * "Dark Horse" was released as the album's third single on December 17.[93] In early January 2014, Perry became a guest curator of Madonna's secretprojectrevolution.[94] On January 29, 2014, "Dark Horse" became her ninth number-one single. -> weak flow
 * Not quite sure how to TNT this bit XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Consider heavy copy-edit
 * It has indeed been heavy! XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)

Artistry

Influences
 * Having grown up listening primarily to gospel music, Perry's first album Katy Hudson focuses on Christian themes. -> shift in tenses. Could be much better
 * Better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She aspired to be like Amy Grant though "it didn't pan out that way." -> choppy/random/weak
 * Better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry names Queen among her influences. -> weak
 * Tried to re-word XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * she was introduced to their song "Killer Queen" by a friend at age 15 and describes it as being the track that made her discover music and want to pursue it as a career. -> made her discover music? Problematic. Also, punctuation needs tightening
 * Nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She elaborated, saying "I thought to myself, -> She elaborated, "
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She is particularly influenced by the band's frontman -> Ex. Perry cited
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * and describes him as her biggest influence musically. She commented "Freddie Mercury was — and remains — my biggest influence. -> redundant
 * cleaned XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She named her third fragrance Killer Queen after the song in homage. -> She payed hmage [...]
 * Should be better now XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She describes the Beach Boys and their album Pet Sounds as having a considerable influence on her music. -> Iffy
 * Not sure how to nuke it XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She stated that the album is "one of my favorite records and it influenced pretty much all of my songwriting. All of the melody choices that I make are because of Pet Sounds. -> This section needs stronger connectors.
 * Any better now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry is inspired by Alanis Morissette, in particular her 1995 album Jagged Little Pill — even going on to work with Morissette's collaborator on the album, Glen Ballard, because of that. -> poor
 * Nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She lists Morissette and Fiona Apple as her heroes. -> weak
 * Can't figure out how to TNT this one, so scrapping XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * After moving to Nashville to work on her first album Katy Hudson, she discovered the music of Patty Griffin and Jonatha Brooke and lists their albums Flaming Red and 10 Cent Wings, respectively, as being important to her -> revise
 * How about "took influence from"? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * I think it'd be more appropriate to have Morisette's photo than Madonna. Madonna is more musical admiration than influence
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Madonna (left) and Freddie Mercury (right) both significantly influenced Perry and her music -> She never credited Madonna with influencing her music. Again, more of an admiration
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Influence, influenced influence
 * Working on it XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry's third album, Teenage Dream, was significantly influenced by the music of ABBA and the Cardigans. She names Robyn as an influence on her fourth record, Prism, and went on to work with Klas Åhlund on the album as a result of his work with Robyn -> revise.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   19:54, 30 May 2014 (UTC)

Musical style
 * I think it would be best to start off "During the early stages of her career, Perry's music gravitated towards gospel etc. later traversing towards and including" etc
 * No problem XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * and features themes of heartbreak and teenage adventure -> lyrical themes
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * themes, themes
 * Not as excessive now, sir :P XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * features, features. Switch it up. 'Incorporates', 'includes', etc
 * The album's topics focus on -> kind of iffy
 * How about "The album revolves around"? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Overall, so far this section reads a bit list like. Her first album, her second. Try and make it more interesting
 * Not quite sure how to do so..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Swedish dance and pop music -> not saying you're wrong, but from the 5-6ish songs off the album I heard.... I don't see the Swedish dance?
 * This was mainly in the ones Max Martin worked on (though not Roar (song) or Unconditionally), but I'll scrap the "Swedish" part XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The album also includes themes of relationships, self-reflection, and living in the present. -> repetitive. Rmv 'also'. themes again
 * Rewrote sentence entirely XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * You've listed 'self-empowerment' several times already
 * True, it's a recurring theme. Which instances should be cut, though? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * many of her 'hits' -> a bit NPOV
 * changed to "songs" XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * reveals "in confident, just-vague-enough terms snapshots of Perry's emotional life." -> Either misquoted a bit or it just doesn't fit so well
 * scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Lol 'THE' Kristen Wiig?
 * XD gone XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry has been reported as writing with wit and frequently using humor in her songwriting. Her songs have been described as "shot through with a razor-sharp wit" and that "it's easy to get lost ricocheting amongst all of the puns and double entendres. -> revise. Also, this is written improperly considering this is only one critics opinion
 * Cropped that bitch XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * She has been noted for her "slightly satiric Perry humor"[121] and she describes some of her music as "tongue-in-cheek" -> kind of vague. repetitive
 * Nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Some critics have expressed that this could hinder her task of being viewed as a serious songwriter, with Greg Kot of Chicago Tribune commenting that "being taken seriously may be Perry's greatest challenge yet. -> revise
 * Check it out now XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ann from LA Times said. 'Labeled' used above is great. 'Said' needs fixing
 * reworded XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk)


 * er lyric writing and display of her personality through her music has been praised. Craig Marks of Billboard stated that her "ingenious pop hooks and zillion-dollar drum tracks are stamped with Perry's knack for a memorable line and frothy, gum-snapping persona" -> That's really a stretch mate. Not what's said in the quote.
 * Looking here, I see this was about California Gurls and Teenage Dream (Katy Perry song). Scrapping XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Her use of idioms and metaphors in her lyrics has been criticized – with some critics pointing out the frequent use of "clichés" in her lyrics. -> You've gone on and on about everything else. I'm sure you can find a bit more on this (maybe excerpts/criticism of "Roar"?)
 * Will search XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Aside from writing her own music, -> redundant
 * Scrapped XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry has. Perry's vocals
 * .....?..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * have been reviewed as both strong and weak on different occasions -> Perry's vocals have received both praise and criticism
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Link staccato
 * linked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * as "processed staccato blips" in a review of Teenage Dream -> Doesn't fit well. Maybe her vocals 'on' TD
 * Good idea, implemented XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Her voice has been compared to Alanis Morissette's, with one review of One of the Boys stating that both artists share a "perky voice shifting octaves mid-syllable". Tom Cruise of OHM likened Perry's vocals on OOFB to Alanis etc.
 * Adjusted, though Tom Cruise didn't write the review XP XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)


 * This last paragraph needs a lot of tightening.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   08:02, 31 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Did what I could, Peter. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:00, 31 May 2014 (UTC)

Public image
 * Perry is noted for being a sex symbol. -> perhaps a more structured and encyclopedic sentence/introduction to the section?
 * I went with "is seen as a sex symbol". Definitely less POV than "is noted for her sex appeal" :P XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * FHM Australia named her the "sexiest woman of 2011" -> I think this one's a bit over-kill
 * How so? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * She is noted for her unconventional style of dress. -> Same here. Try and merge with next sentence. Maybe "Noted for her unconventional style of dress, Perry's choice of fashion often includes humorous etc.
 * Reworded XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Back to the previous section. May I suggest removing the photo to make easy room/navigation for the blockquote (as the photo in this section really serves no purpose?)
 * The one of her in the green dress? Gone XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Vogue described her as "never exactly one to shy away from the outrageous or the extreme in any realm, be it the red carpet or her daily wardrobe",[145] while -> a bit lengthy
 * trimmed XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * In early February 2009, she described her fashion style as "a bit of a concoction of different things" and stated "I love a good sense of humor in clothes" -> a bit heavy here on the quotes. Try paraphrasing. Not necessarily this one, but this section is quite heavy on them
 * Enough to call it a WP:QUOTEFARM? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Speaking on her "ability to slip from party girl to polish", as described by Harper's Bazaar, -> awkwardly phrased
 * TNT'd XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry expressed that she feels she has "learned how to tame that social media dragon", -> this should be cut. The next part should be hooked on with Forbes
 * Scrapped bit XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)

Philanthropy
 * I get that's the name, but 2008 Warped Tour seems more appropriate
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * she performed her song "Firework" with an autistic fan named at Comedy Central's -> named at?
 * Forgot name of the KatyCat :P, now included XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * In early December 2012, Perry was awarded the Trevor Hero Award by The Trevor Project for her work and activism for LGBT youth.[161] -> To avoid repetition, try and hook on with "and was later awarded"
 * Trying to work on this one XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * In early April 2013, Perry worked with UNICEF and traveled to Madagascar to assist children with education and nutrition. -> switch it up. "Perry joined UNICEF"
 * Will adjust XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Every following sentence begins with the date. Try and switch it up/make it more interesting/read less like a list
 * Will try XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Changed up a few sentences S△M   talk  15:45, 3 June 2014 (UTC)

Personal
 * She told Toronto Star in early December 2013 "My God has changed over the years. Absolutely. I believe there's this 'bigger than me' thing that's looking after me. I don't believe in like God as a really old guy with a beard on a gold throne" and that "I don't believe in heaven or hell as a destination. In fact, the terms of what I believe are still up for debate because I'm still on a journey and I don't even know if I'm going to get to my destination". -> a bit much
 * I've scrapped this entirely as it really reads like shit after giving some thought XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * I don't think it was necessary to remove the entire religious beliefs section; it's a big part of her personal life and just needed some cleaning up in my opinion. Not sure what anyone else thinks. S△M   talk  15:45, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * It was certainly big in defining her early life and career, but now doesn't play nearly as much of a role as it used to regardless of what her beliefs are these days. It took some thought before arriving at this conclusion, but in the end there was no hope for it. Not even a TNT could've helped. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 16:36, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * I suspect there are readers that are interested in knowing her current beliefs though, especially given her strictly religious upbringing. Plus it's something that's often mentioned in biographic articles' "Personal life" section. I could try messing around with it in Sandbox and see if I can clean it up a little. S△M   talk  16:54, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Hmm..... there is that, but I doubt much could be done beyond simply incorporate in different bits if the article the increased spiritual senses she has gained (i.e. Eckhart influencing Prism). Since there's not really a good way to phrase it all at the moment, should probably leave out. Yes, it is often mentioned in such sections, though I'm also thinking of at some point removing "Personal life" section altogether and just incorporate relationships as they occurred within "Life and career" section (see Michael Jackson or Charlie Chaplin articles—both of which are FA—for examples of what I mean, or other articles like Madonna (entertainer) or Christina Aguilera) and have politics as its own section. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 17:10, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * That's fine. I do agree; her religious/spiritual beliefs do seem to be a bit hazy at this point, she's not spoken about them enough recently for us to have a complete awareness. Perhaps if she goes into detail in future interviews, the section could be rebuilt (that's if the "Personal life" section still exists and hasn't been merged into the "Life and career" section as you said). Merging the section sounds like a fine idea to me. Perhaps the philanthropy and politics sections could be merged under a separate section titled "Other ventures" (similar to the Beyoncé or Christina Aguilera articles) in future. S△M   talk  19:36, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Sounds good to me, but let's first finish this review. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 19:47, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * I don't think Marie Claire announced
 * See point above XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Try using terms like "romantically-linked" etc.
 * M'Kay XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * relationship ending, relationship ended.
 * What about it? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * that she voted no on Proposition 8 -> against
 * took care of that :) XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * people's attitudes towards LGBT people -> tightening
 * nuked XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * She has also mentioned her support of -> She has cited her support of
 * Acalamari also fixed that XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)


 * Perry has received many awards and nominations for her studio albums -> for her work as a recording artist-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   07:23, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:19, 3 June 2014 (UTC)

Comments from Shane Cyrus

 * I would suggest to replace Facebook. In the references, some say "MTV" and the others say "MTV News". --Shane Cyrus (talk) 14:14, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Which MTV refs are those? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * YouTube & Twitter aren't reliable sources either.--Shane Cyrus (talk) 14:16, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Looking for replacements. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Reveal (Nat Mags) is a gossip site and unreliable source.
 * I'll let Peter make the call on that one. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref#75 is clearly a blog and unreliable.
 * It's a blog solely stating Nielsen SoundScan data, not to mention its author, Paul Gein, is an ex-Billboard editor. Usage of his column is widely used in music-related articles.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   14:55, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Wikipedia doesn't accept blogs whether or not their authors worked at a reliable company earlier.--Shane Cyrus (talk) 15:17, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Well, unfortunately for you, I'd estimate 90% of well-researched GA music-related articles use it (nor will its usage stop me from promoting this article).-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   15:37, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * All the refs of Entertainment Weekly are unreliable.
 * You deduced that from where?-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   14:55, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * It is a tabloid equivalent to Entertainment Wise which are both unreliabe--Shane Cyrus (talk) 15:17, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Maybe since they both have the word "entertainment" you're being a bit thrown off. Trust me. They are very different...-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   15:37, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref #20 doesn't have any link.
 * It is a printed book publication and has nothing to link to. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * You will however need to provide page #s/isbn #s. It's definitely incomplete.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   06:49, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * I can find page numbers but not ISBN's..... help? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 12:13, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Youtube interviews of Katy aren't written by her and can't list her as the author.
 * YouTube is not an acceptable source period.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   14:55, 23 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Jornal da Cidade de Bauru is uh, unreliable --Shane Cyrus (talk) 14:46, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * How so? It should be noted that just because a source isn't in English doesn't automatically make it unreliable. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * MTV refs at some places say Viacom and not at some places.--Shane Cyrus (talk) 14:18, 23 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Which ones? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Ref #19:Toonage is unreliable.
 * Looking for a replacement. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * You should list John Mayer in associated acts.
 * a one-time collab isn't an associated act, so cannot list him there. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * REF #44 has no link at all.
 * See point on ref#20. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:37, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * 1) Replace HitFix & The Hollywood Reporter--Shane Cyrus (talk) 05:30, 29 May 2014 (UTC)
 * I'll let Peter make the call on HitFix, but Hollywood Reporter most certainly is reliable. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 06:51, 29 May 2014 (UTC)
 * They are both more than okay.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   06:58, 29 May 2014 (UTC)
 * No, Hitfix is not considered reliable.
 * If you're going to complain about a source (which has never brought up any issue), you might as well open a discussion at WP:RSN or give the reviewer good reasons to remove it.  prism  △ 17:14, 3 June 2014 (UTC)

I know you won't need but I am always available for help. These are my only concerns, I have no problem with the article getting promoted. I only rose them so that none else can use them in a reassessment. Best of Luck with everything!!!--Shane Cyrus (talk) 05:09, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Refs for ContactMusic and Amazon need to be rewritten without the .com--Shane Cyrus (talk) 10:15, 3 June 2014 (UTC)

Comments from Vic

 * Comment on references
 * Per WP:SOURCES, second dot, if the writer of the work is an expert in the field, the source can be considered as reliable. Paul Grein, who worked in Billboard for quite some time, can be considered as such. To the nominators, Yahoo! Music should be credited as the publisher.
 * Yahoo Music instead of Yahoo? No problem. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 21:50, 24 May 2014 (UTC)


 * In addition to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc. I've noticed that the article features refs like Epinions (a consumer guide), and iTunes and Amazon (music retailers). These should also be removed because they fall under WP:NOTRELIABLE, which says that they "lack meaningful editorial oversight" and "rely heavily on personal opinion". There are other "suspicious" websites like Ticketek, TradeMe, Tickets For Charity, and Contactmusic.com, but since this is not a FA nomination, I won't make an issue of it.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 16:58, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure what's "suspicious" about Contactmusic.com, but the other ones shall be replaced. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 21:50, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * There's absolutely nothing wrong with using iTunes or Amazon as references for release dates in different countries etc. As for Contactmusic.com, I don't really have an issue. The cheesy Ticketmaster sites need to go though.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   22:06, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * So Mr. Griffin, is this fine to use for the release date of Katy Hudson (February 8, 2001) or is it better to go with things like MTV or Noam Friedlander's biography (which give March 6, 2001)? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 22:10, 24 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Being that it's her first album (while she was still under the radar) I think it would be safest to use her bio (or MTV).-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   23:11, 24 May 2014 (UTC)

Obviously my miscalculation, as I was watching only the references section. I thought that user comments were being obtained from Amazon and iTunes, but as long as it's for release dates, that wouldn't be a problem. As for Contactmusic, I see that ref 170 is credited to Dom Harrison, but the entrance only shows WENN as the author. But nevermind, the home page of that website looks like a media with high standard.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 07:51, 25 May 2014 (UTC)
 * Regarding ticket profit donation during The Prismatic World Tour, I currently can only find a good third-party ref for UNICEF. Should the others be removed for now, ? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 00:28, 26 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Comments on introduction
 * "She was born and raised primarily near Santa Barbara, California." Hmm, this needs to be re-worded somehow; she can be born at one exact place.
 * Will try, but I should mention that the exact town she was born in isn't quite known. She was born just outside of Santa Barbara. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 18:55, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * "The album is predominantly pop rock." Why is this so important to be placed in the lead? Has she started making music in a completely different genre?
 * Not quite, so I'll remove the genres and just have them in later sections. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 18:55, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Can you make a distinction between her film career and the accolades referring to her music career? The third paragraph seems not quite organised. First you talk about the awards she has received, then about the film roles she had played, and to finish with her marriage and worldwide sales.
 * Hmmm...... not quite sure how to do so..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 18:55, 25 May 2014 (UTC)


 * There is no need for references in the lead. Since it's a summary if the entire article, you should mention these information in the article's body as well.
 * Are you sure the lead doesn't need refs? Just wanna make sure there's no WP:OR in the article. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 18:55, 25 May 2014 (UTC)
 * What I meant is, that it would be better if the information regarding album sales, popularity, awards, is explained in the article's body as well. You can place the citations in those places (wherever you chose to incorporate these sentences.)--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 10:01, 26 May 2014 (UTC)


 * I'll be back with additional notes after you're done with these and Peter's. Have fun.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 11:12, 25 May 2014 (UTC)
 * , how do the lead and refs look now? XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 01:08, 27 May 2014 (UTC)

The lead looks better now. If you have removed all of the references pointed above, then the second criteria can be considered as fullfiled.--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 07:50, 27 May 2014 (UTC)
 * All addressed :). XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 01:34, 28 May 2014 (UTC)


 * Other stuff
 * The books in "Further reading" need proper formatting (ISSN number, link the publisher, etc.)
 * I can't find the ISBN numbers :/..... XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 17:01, 29 May 2014 (UTC)
 * ISBN numbers: Katy Perry, Katy Perry: Rebel Dreamer, Katy Perry: A Biography

I'm not sure if ISBN-10 or ISBN-13 should be used, so I'll leave it up to someone else. S△M  talk  18:07, 29 May 2014 (UTC)
 * THANK YOU SAM :D! XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 18:17, 29 May 2014 (UTC)


 * The most important things at good or featured articles is that the prose needs to be as clearest as possible. The awards section reads verbose at some places. Hope Peter will successfully detect the rest of these weak areas.
 * "Perry has received many awards and nominations for her work from albums One of the Boys, Teenage Dream, and Prism." Why don't you just say "Perry has received many awards and nominations for her studio albums"?
 * M'kay, though the reason the albums were listed out was to indicate that Katy Hudson didn't win her anything. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 17:01, 29 May 2014 (UTC)
 * "They have earned her eleven...", perhaps "She has earned"?--Вик Ретлхед (talk) 16:08, 29 May 2014 (UTC)
 * ✅ XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 17:01, 29 May 2014 (UTC)

Way more than 7 days have passed but all issues haven't been addressed.--Shane Cyrus (talk) 04:24, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * First of all, Shane, the review isn't complete yet as Peter hasn't yet pointed out all that needs addressing. Second, it is his call as to whether this nomination passes since he started the review, not yours. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:52, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Anyone is free to suggest failure, ok! Do not underestimate me. But an article may not be on hold more than 7 days per WP:GAG--Shane Cyrus (talk) 06:13, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * It is true that others can suggest failure, but so far review has not been placed on hold. A review is placed on hold after reviewer has pointed out all concerns. Once Peter has given all the comments on what to address, then would be the time to place on hold. Wait until has given all the comments on what should be addressed. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 06:18, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * WP:GAG doesn't say any of that; WP:GAN/I, however, states: Note that the standard holding time is seven days; however, reviewers can shorten/extend the time limit if they wish.. Don't get your panties in a bunch, no one is underestimating you. Youre overestimating the power you have over a GAN that you do not control.  prism ' △ 20:12, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * This page is a GAN, though, not GAR :P XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:24, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Oops, typo... :P  prism  △ 20:27, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Good work guys. I'm going to continue my copy-edit throughout the day. Should pass very soon :) PS. Please ignore this buffoon. He has nothing better to do than troll.-- Peter Griffin  &bull;  Talk2Me   20:28, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * FUCK YES, AT LONG LAST! :'D XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 20:31, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Yey! I'm currently looking at the prose of the article to see if there's anything else I can do.  prism  △ 21:36, 3 June 2014 (UTC)

Comments from Simon
I just wonder that although Perry is very successful in the music market, yet there is not "Legacy" section in the article? That's kinda odd. &mdash; Simon (talk) 07:15, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * I've been giving this thought myself, . It seems that "legacy" sections tend to also include examples of influence, i.e. how she inspires other artists. I know Ariana Grande and Selena Gomez for example take influence from her, but am not sure if there's enough material yet to write such a section. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 10:22, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Such a paragraph, when added, will surely threaten the article's stability.--Shane Cyrus (talk) 14:13, 3 June 2014 (UTC)