Talk:Kendrick Moxon/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Lord Roem (talk) 00:40, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
 * I look forward to reviewing this article. I will try to review this over the long weekend. Cheers, Lord Roem (talk) 00:40, 14 January 2011 (UTC)


 * One quick thing to fix - there is a dead link in the references. -- Lord Roem (talk) 03:03, 14 January 2011 (UTC)

Section by section review
Lead
 * The lead is good. I would add an in-line cite to the Operation Snow White sentence, as I believe it may be something 'challenged' under WP:LEADCITE.

Early life and education
 * Hmmm. Maybe incorporate this into the 'Family' section, so it appears more complete? Hmmmm. You can decide.

Guardian's office
 * I'm not entirely sure that Moxon being an 'Operating Thetan' is relevant here.
 * When you first mention the Snow White investigation here, briefly explain what it is to provide more context.
 * Maybe add a bit on what exactly the GO did.

COS Attorney
 * The citations here are prolific and where needed - good job!
 * Maybe divide this section into individual time frames because it reads as a huge piece of text. Either that or add an image or two of the people he represented.
 * The last example of a case, from March 2000 in the end of this section, never explains what the decision of the judge was? Did Moxon win?

Family
 * Add in a sentence of when he got married.

Concluding thoughts
 * I am truely surprised that this article is balanced and neutral in all respects. Well done! Certainly viable for GA promotion.

Best regards, Lord Roem (talk) 18:25, 14 January 2011 (UTC)

Pass
After reviewing the changes, I see nothing further to fix or alter. I will now move to promote the article. Congrats! -- Lord Roem (talk) 20:45, 14 January 2011 (UTC)