Talk:Kenny Dalglish/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 18:57, 20 May 2020 (UTC)

I'll take this one, will post review shortly. Kosack (talk) 18:58, 20 May 2020 (UTC)

Lead
✅
 * "He made 322 appearances for Celtic and 502 for Liverpool", I'd add "During his career," ahead of this as it reads pretty number heavy from the start.
 * "also a record, held jointly with Denis Law", I'd drop this mention of Law, switch to "also a joint-record". Law is already mentioned as the joint record holder in the third paragraph and this sentence is a bit long, so this will trim it down a little.
 * Scotland are already linked in the first paragraph so there's no need to link again in the second. A few more doubles in Director of Football and Scottish League Cup in the third and League Cup in the fourth.
 * "Newcastle finished runners-up in the Premier League", finished as?
 * There are two mentions of Anfield in the last sentence but the second is linked, not the first?
 * Refs 8 and 9 are used in text so there's no need to keep them in the lead.

Early life
✅
 * Home Nations should be capitalised.

Celtic

 * The first use of Celtic needs linking.
 * I'm a bit confused about the Cumbernauld United info. In the infobox, it states he was a youth player there before joining Celtic. In the text it states he joined the club on loan as a professional? The year of signing his pro contract with Celtic also doesn't tally with the infobox.
 * He signed the contract in 1967 but played with the reserves until pretty much 1971, However I'm not sure whether playing for the reserves while making occasional first team appearances counts as professional or not. REDMAN 2019 (talk) 11:57, 26 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Refs 12 and 13 are the wrong way round on the joiner sentence. Refs should be in numerical order.
 * ref 10 (12) is quoted at the end of the previous paragraph. REDMAN 2019 (talk) 11:59, 26 May 2020 (UTC)

✅ Except for the ones that I've replied to. REDMAN 2019 (talk) 07:09, 27 May 2020 (UTC)
 * "He played with the reserves throughout the 1968–69 season, but only scored four goals in 17 games. The following season, he moved into midfield, which saw his performances improve", this is extremely close paraphrasing to the LFC History source.
 * "during season 1969–70", I don't think we would refer to a season in this reverse format.
 * "The reserves, however, benefited from his goalscoring talent from midfield...", again this is pretty much word for word from the source.
 * Link hat-trick.
 * "win yet another league championship", I think yet can be dropped here. It seems to be over emphasising the victory, rather than remaining neutral.
 * Link Bob Paisley.

Liverpool

 * The picture caption should be "in the 1980s".
 * Link Wembley.
 * The only ref in the first paragraph has no mention of any domestic football, only the European ties.
 * The first half of the second paragraph appears to have no sourcing?
 * A big jump from 1983 to 1985 and there are at least a few notable incidents from this time frame mentioned on LFC History.
 * LFC History mentions that Dalglish would only accept the job if Paisley was his assistant for two years. This is worth mentioning I think.
 * Only one ref in the third paragraph (which has expired btw) and a cn tag.
 * "Dalglish formed a new striker partnership of new signings", drop one of the news, probably the first one.
 * First half of this paragraph is unsourced.
 * Derby > Derby County.
 * "At 39, he was one of the oldest players ever to play for Liverpool", ref doesn't seem to support this.

International

 * The first half of the first paragraph is not supported by the ref.
 * Repeat link of Hampden Park in the second paragraph.
 * Source for the 76 win over England?

Liverpool

 * Repeat link of Joe Fagan.
 * Most of the second and half of the third paragraphs are unsourced.

Blackburn Rovers

 * Repeat link of Premier League in the second paragraph.
 * First paragraph has sourcing issues, including a cn tag.
 * Second paragraph has no sources.

Newcastle United

 * "He also made some good long-term signings like Gary Speed and Shay Given", this is unsourced and reads like someone added it in response to the preceding criticism of signings.

Return to Liverpool

 * Wolves > Wolverhampton Wanderers
 * Repeat link of Newcastle in the first paragraph.
 * "His first official match in charge was 2–0 defeat to Harry Redknapp's Spurs at Anfield", source?
 * The last two paragraphs are small, single sentence constructions. These should generally be avoided. Can these be worked into more fluid prose?

Career statistics

 * The refs in the table heading should be in numerical order.
 * The League Cup appearances in the table add up to 119, not 118.