Talk:Kepler-11/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: —Torchiest talkedits 04:53, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * Could you direct me a bit more? I'm not quite sure where to start. I just read it over and it looked okay to me. (That's definitely a problem. :P ) --Starstriker7(Talk) 06:22, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * I believe so. This was the system's discovery paper. --Starstriker7(Talk) 06:24, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 06:22, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 06:22, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 06:22, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:

Reviewer: —Torchiest talkedits 04:53, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

Copy editing
I'll bold the problem spots.

Lead

 * Kepler-11 is a sunlike star in the constellation Cygnus...
 * I believe that should be hyphenated; also, is there anything you could wikilink that word to?
 * ✅ and ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:16, 3 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Announced on February 2, 2011, the star system is the most compact and one of the flattest known, and is the first star system with more than three transiting planets to be discovered
 * Is there a way to rephrase this? It just sounds a bit awkward.
 * I've given it a shot. What do you think? --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:16, 3 March 2011 (UTC)

Nomenclature and history

 * Kepler-11 is the first discovered exoplanetary system with more than three planets transiting.
 * Move "discovered" to behind "system"; it will sound a little smoother.
 * I don't know, "first exoplanetary discovered system" sounds awkward to me. --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:18, 3 March 2011 (UTC)

Planetary system

 * their inclinations relative to Earth's line of sight...
 * Caps.
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:24, 3 March 2011 (UTC)


 * This allows direct measurements of the planets' periods and relative diameters (compared to the host star) via monitoring each planets' transit of the star.
 * "each planet" is singular, so move the apostrophe in front of the "s". Also, "by" instead of "via" might be easier to read in this case.
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:24, 3 March 2011 (UTC)


 * The system is the most compact known; the orbits of planets b - f would easily fit inside that of Mercury...
 * It might be better to just say "the orbit of Mercury"
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:24, 3 March 2011 (UTC)


 * ...while the average distance of g from its star is about 20% larger, slightly larger than the orbit of Venus.
 * Try "greater" instead of larger for both of these.
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:24, 3 March 2011 (UTC)


 * ...while b and c probably contain substantial amounts of ices and/or hydrogen or helium.
 * To comply with the MoS, try something like "ice, hydrogen, helium, or all three".
 * ✅ with some changes to your suggestion. How does it look? --Starstriker7(Talk) 02:24, 3 March 2011 (UTC)

That should about do it. Fix those and this is a pass. —Torchiest talkedits 11:49, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

I made one more change to the lead, but it's looking good to me, so it's a pass. Congratulations! —Torchiest talkedits 03:12, 3 March 2011 (UTC)