Talk:Kepler-11d/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Nergaal (talk) 01:33, 28 March 2011 (UTC)

I'll do this too:
 * "It is named for the telescope that discovered it, a NASA spacecraft namedKepler that is designed to detect Earth-like planets by measuring small dips in the brightness of their host stars as the planets cross in front. This process, known as the transit method, was used to note the presence of six planets in orbit around Kepler-11," unnecessary detailed for intro
 * Comment I expanded this portion because readers who do not know what the transit method of detection is may go to that article instead and become distracted from there. This phenomenon was a matter of concern on a previous GA that I've done. --Starstriker7(Talk) 05:02, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "The discovery paper was published a day later in the journal Nature." same, too much for intro
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 05:02, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Kepler-11d's name can be divided into two parts: "Kepler-11" and "d."" not very professinal
 * ✅ Removed. --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "d." I think should be ""d".", but I might be wrong
 * ✅ ? I'm not sure, so I just italicized it and removed the punctuation entirely. --Starstriker7(Talk) 04:57, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Kepler-11d, along with its five sister planets, were announced to the public on February 2, 2011. Its discovery paper was published in the journal Nature the next day.[4]" move to the end of para since the follow-up observations were done first then published in Nature
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * " Hobby=Eberly" ?
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "[Fe/H]" not necessary to use the scientific notation since to a casual reader it is confusing
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "an effective temperature of 5680" Kelvins?
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "(similar, if not the same)" cut off the same part since it is pretty impossible to have the same one at higher precision
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "same) as the Sun. " needs a citation at the end of the sentence
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "Metallicity has been observed to play a major role determining the type of planet a star forms, as the gas clouds that form metal-rich stars also tend to cause planetary cores to aggregate to a gravitationally prominent size while primordial gases still exists in the system, causing gas giants to form" this sentence is waaay to long; break it apart
 * I gave it a shot. How does it look? --Starstriker7(Talk) 04:59, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "an inclination" add orbital for non-specialists
 * ✅ --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)


 * "siphoned" is this the term that astrophysicist use in peer-reviewed journals?
 * ✅ Changed to "captured." --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:48, 28 March 2011 (UTC)

Nergaal (talk) 01:44, 28 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Passing. Nice job and keep 'em coming. Nergaal (talk) 16:36, 28 March 2011 (UTC)