Talk:Kevin King (American football)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 09:20, 27 February 2018 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this one, will post review soon. Kosack (talk) 09:20, 27 February 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * I would expect a longer opening for a GA, another paragraph would be nice. Perhaps mention his All-Pac-12 mentions in college and some information on his debut NFL season. ✅
 * Ref 1 lists his full name as Kevin Charles King. ✅

Early life

 * '"baseball, football, and basketball" I would swap football and basketball around as the article then mentions a desire to play football positions straight after.✅
 * Include his height at the time of the quarterback mention for a point of reference for the reader (5' 7 according to the source).✅
 * "he had hit a growth spurt and grown to 6'2." I'm not sure that sentence works, perhaps ""he experienced a growth spurt and grew"?✅
 * Link MVP to Most valuable player.✅
 * When I searched for Max Preps, I was redirected to CBS. Might be worth linking that as it is mentioned in the article.✅ I wasn't aware that they owned them, but I know it's one of the main high school recruiting websites.-- Church  Talk 08:05, 1 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Link track and field.✅
 * Link Rivals.com.✅
 * "Washington, California, West Virginia, and Arizona State" I'm assuming these are all universities, if so, link them to their relevant pages. ✅ With the exception of Washington because it was linked earlier in the lead. -- Church  Talk 08:06, 1 March 2018 (UTC)
 * "ranked as a three star prospect by Rivals.com", a bit of clarification is needed here, is three star good? Perhaps adding "out of a possible five" or " the highest ranking available" ✅
 * Ref 1 states that his cousin is Asa Jackson and that he majored in American ethnic studies and retail management, this could be worked into the text. ✅ I added his major, but I'm not sure how to include his relationship with Asa Jackson, do you have a suggestion?-- Church  Talk 22:53, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

College career

 * "although the team believed him to more natural at cornerback" insert be between to and more. ✅
 * When I searched true freshman, I was redirected to Redshirt (college sports). I'm not great with college football jargon, would this be an appropriate link in your opinion?
 * I went ahead and linked it. A true freshman is someone who did not receive a redshirt designation (meaning they are an actual first year to the school, whereas if they were a "redshirt" freshman they would be a second year or sophomore at the school.-- Church  Talk 22:56, 1 March 2018 (UTC)


 * Again, link BYU, UCLA Bruins, Stanford, Illinois and Oklahoma State to relevant team pages.✅
 * Link Apple Cup, Jimmy Lake and Manny Wilkins✅.
 * "King recorded the first interception of the year in the Apple Cup", the source states that this was his first career interception which should be emphasized. Perhaps, "King recorded his first career interception in the Apple Cup..."''?✅
 * Ref 5 is the only ref used in the second paragraph so doesn't need to be repeated for every sentence. ✅

Professional career

 * Link Lance Zierlein.✅
 * That repeated in third sentence of first paragraph. ✅
 * Link NFL combine to NFL Scouting Combine. ✅
 * Ref 2 used three times in three sentences, the middle use could be dropped.✅

After measurables table

 * Link NFL Draft to 2017 NFL Draft. ✅
 * "He did not end up waiting for long", seems a bit journalistic I think. I would remove it and just keep the mention of the Packers trading back to get him.✅
 * Add a mention of who Mike Mayock is.✅
 * Link Joe Whitt to Joe Whitt Jr..✅
 * Link Skype.✅
 * Link jammer to Jammer (American football).✅
 * Move ref 19 to the bottom of the paragraph otherwise the last sentence looks unsourced.✅
 * ""King tried for most of the season to tough it out", tough it out seems too sports reporter-like. Perhaps play through the pain?✅
 * "he would have to have surgery for his injury." I'm not keen on the use of have to have, perhaps "he would be forced to undergo surgery"''?✅
 * Link Brian Gutekunst. ✅

Career statistics

 * Seems unnecessary to have the regular season sub-heading if there's nothing else in the section. I would either remove it or drop it down from a sub-heading to simply bold text. ✅