Talk:Kgabo Commission/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Nominator: 03:30, 14 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: 48JCL (talk · contribs) 22:35, 3 May 2024 (UTC)

I will review this article.48JCL ( talk ) 22:35, 3 May 2024 (UTC)

a. Criterion seems to be met
 * Referencing and citations

b. Pass, inline citations are there.

c. Pass, no original research.

d. No plagiarism found Maybe add images? Pretty sure it says “if possible” so I don’t think this is a big problem
 * Illustrations and pictures
 * There are no free images related to this. I even tried to find some of the people involved, but no luck!

Article seems to be neutral. a. Passes, but maybe another paragraph for improvement? Also, grammatical errors: “On October, 1989” should be “In October 1989” "On October, 1989" should be "In October 1989," without the comma. "Keneng Land Board v. Kabelo Matlho and Others" should be "Kweneng Land Board v. Kabelo Matlho and Others" for consistency. In the sentence "It also proposed that violations of the Tribal Land Act be prosecuted through customary law in specially created land tribunals instead of through statutes in court," there's a slight repetition with "instead of through statutes in court." You might consider rephrasing for clarity and conciseness. In the sentence "Instead, the government determined that landowners should be allowed to keep developed land after paying a fine of 5,000 pula, with seizure and compensation then considered otherwise," the phrase "considered otherwise" could be clarified. Perhaps something like "with the possibility of seizure and compensation being considered differently" would make the meaning clearer. In the sentence "Mmusi and Kwelagobe insisted that the commission had been filled with political enemies as part of a conspiracy to oust them from the BDP," it might be clearer to specify "BDP leadership positions" instead of just "the BDP."
 * Neutrality
 * Well-written
 * Not sure what paragraph I'd add, I covered all of the main aspects that I'm aware of.
 * The October part is an exact quote so changing it would be inaccurate
 * Fixed "Keneng"
 * "statues in court" is only mentioned once so I'm not sure what repetition to remove.
 * Clarified "considered otherwise"
 * Clarified "leadership positions"

b. If I’m not mistaken, land boards does not need to be linked twice. Same with peri urban. “Many residents” seems to be slightly redundant. Other than that,
 * They're both linked once in the lead and once in the body, which is standard practice.

This article is stable with no edit wars or vandalism seen in version history a. This is good, but maybe add another paragraph of background or prose, just to improve the article even more. Also, what is a land board? There’s no article for it. (I know what it is, but it may be confusing for users.)
 * Stable
 * Broad

b. Pass

Overall
Pass or fail: Edit: Well, it’s been around more than a week, and I’m pretty sure I have to fail you by now (no offense.)

Final comments
No more concerns. Maybe address the previous concerns and I’d be happy to pass 48JCL ( talk ) 22:10, 4 May 2024 (UTC)


 * @Thebiguglyalien 48JCL talk 15:50, 5 May 2024 (UTC)
 * @48JCL, just popping in with some advice because it looks like you're new to GA reviewing:
 * Have you spot-checked the sources? You don't need to check every single citation, but you should make sure that you check enough of them that you're confident that it's unlikely there are major errors and that nothing that's widely covered in the sources is missing in this article. (That last one is the "broad" criterion - you're not looking to make sure the article contains everything it possibly could, but if you think readers might be misinformed by the absence of some major point, you should definitely raise that.)
 * When you're giving suggestions for prose, can you be more specific about what you think should be added? "On October, 1989 --> In October 1989" is perfectly clear, I don't mean that kind. I mean "maybe add another paragraph of background or prose" - I would have no idea at all what you're hoping for from this. Is there anything you think you don't fully understand, or that a typical reader would not fully understand? If you ask specific questions like "can you write a paragraph on why x occurred?" or "I think this sentence means x, but I'm not sure, can you clarify it?" it's a lot easier for the nominator.
 * Thanks for taking on this review! -- asilvering (talk) 16:38, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I was re-reviewing yesterday just to make sure. I used an RNG for finding sources and I will list every problematic citation and I will also take your  advice. 48JCL talk 16:54, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * @Asilvering I have checked most of the sources, and they appear to be reliable and relevant to the topic. 48JCL talk 21:47, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Great! That's a pass of #2 then, provided that the article accurately represents the sources it's citing. When you check the sources to make sure the info in them agrees with what's in the article, it's helpful to list which ones you checked, even if you don't have any comments other than "looks good". That way, other editors can see which sources were checked. -- asilvering (talk) 23:12, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * I checked all sources. 48JCL 21:24, 8 May 2024 (UTC)

asilvering comments
While I'm here, I'll add a few questions/comments I had reading this. (Signatures added for your convenience in replying, feel free to address all in one go if you prefer.)
 * The system of land boards used to allocate land in Botswana were facing criticism, compelling the government to act. Since we don't have an article about land boards yet, could you give a sentence or two that explains what they were supposed to be doing, or why they were formed in the first place? I gather that they're used to distribute land, but I'm not sure if they're involved directly in the sale of it, or they're just supposed to monitor sales, or what. When it says they're "facing criticism", is the criticism the stuff in the next paragraph? I'm not sure what the relationship between the land boards and the Tribal Land Act is. -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * the Tribal Land Act found that land boards had insufficient staff and elected tribal representatives From the grammar of this sentence I'm not sure if the land boards had insufficient staff and so they elected tribaal reps, or if they had insufficient staff and also had insufficient tribal reps. -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * who was a respected figure in the party and had been a member since its founding this is the first mention of the party since the lead, so the party should be named in full. I'd also toss in the year it was founded, for context. -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * The Kgabo Commission published its findings in the Kgabo Report. can we get a specific date here? -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * Ok, I was fine with reading "violations of the Tribal Land Act" without much context in the earlier section, but now that we're talking about specific illegal acts I think we'd benefit from more information here or in the background paragraph on what the Tribal Land Act is. I can guess about why some of these things are illegal, but I'm not at all sure why there shouldn't be residential structures installed. -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * The commission blamed the spread of unauthorised land deals on the government's inability to carry them out in a timely manner, and many buyers and sellers believed that this justified their actions. I'd split this sentence, since "many buyers and sellers" isn't the object of "the commission blamed". -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * The commission also found that the involvement of high ranking figures such as Mmusi and Kwelagobe encouraged violations among the public. can you clarify whether this means something like "they were a bad example" or "they incited the public to specific actions"? -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * two specific land boards should be dissolved and recreated with new staff I don't have any idea how many land boards there were so I don't know whether two is a tiny fraction, a small amount, or a lot. -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * The commission recommended that... this sentence is 124 words long!! It's probably worth breaking up, but at the very least give us some semicolons or repeat the "that" before each dependent clause so it's harder to get lost in here. -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * The commission challenged the ruling in Kweneng Land Board v. Kabelo Matlho and Others. This is the first we've heard of this case. Can you rearrange this paragraph so that we know what/when/why before we learn that the commission challenged the ruling? -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * and arguing that tribal chiefs' representatives should have less influence instead of more do we know what their reasoning was? -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * It is believed that many landowners who had illegally purchased land began development once the government's position was announced. can you explain why this matters? -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * the Big Two has significant support is this a typo for "had"? -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)
 * When Jacob Nkate become minister of lands and housing, he became known for his willingness to raze illegally held lands in Mogoditshane since this comes right after This investigation also uncovered corrupt land dealings by government officials., it makes it sound like Nkate's actions are an example of the corrupt land dealings. But it sounds like he is fighting them (possibly with literal fire?!) rather than partaking in them? -- asilvering (talk) 17:13, 6 May 2024 (UTC)