Talk:Khaba/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: A. Parrot (talk · contribs) 22:03, 13 July 2014 (UTC)

Prose
There are still a few issues of prose clarity, unfortunately. I've tweaked a few passages where the intended meaning was fairly clear to me; look over what I've done and make sure I haven't accidentally misrepresented the sources. There are a few passages I'm not sure about:


 * "Mainstream Egyptologists and archaeologists propose that an unfinished step pyramid at Zawyet el'Aryan, known as the Layer Pyramid, belongs to him. Others believe…"


 * It's probably best to change "mainstream" to "most". "Mainstream Egyptologists" usually implies a contrast between the great majority of Egyptologists and untrained or less-trained fringe figures, like Graham Hancock or Ahmed Osman. That isn't the case here.

Done!--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:50, 18 July 2014 (UTC)


 * "Khaba's Gold name is the first to show the infinite form of the royal Gold name."


 * "Infinite" is not a grammatical term in English. I assume you mean "infinitive" or "infinitival", which are both used to refer to forms of Egyptian verbs. They're closely related grammatical forms (the infinitive is a particular type of infinitival), but I don't know which one you mean—my grasp of Egyptian grammar is very weak. If this different form of the Gold name has any larger significance, I suggest explaining that. Does it changes the meaning of a translation, or is it could be a transitional stage between earlier forms of the Gold name and the Golden Horus name?

Done!--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:51, 18 July 2014 (UTC)


 * "There is little dispute among modern Egyptologists that Khaba might be identical to a Ramesside cartouche name known as Huni."


 * "There is little dispute" suggests that most Egyptologists agree with the notion. But as far as I am aware, most or all Egyptologists regard Huni as separate from Khaba, and the rest of the paragraph supports that impression. Do you mean that a minority of Egyptologists think Huni and Khaba are the same?

Done!--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:53, 18 July 2014 (UTC)


 * "Thus, the reign of Khaba slips rather very close to the end of third dynasty. A chronological datation of Khaba into the 3rd dynasty is seen as secure."


 * The first sentence just sounds odd. I suggest writing "Thus, Khaba is thought to have reigned close to the end of the Third Dynasty."


 * As for the second, it's so general that it should probably be moved to the start of the section. And "datation" is not a word in English, logical though it might seem to have such a word. Maybe remove this sentence, and at the start of the section, write something like "Khaba's reign is securely dated to the Third Dynasty. Because of the contradictions within Ramesside king lists and the lack of contemporary, festive inscriptions, his exact chronological position within the dynasty remains disputed."

Done!--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:57, 18 July 2014 (UTC)

If these issues are resolved, I believe the article will qualify as a GA. A. Parrot (talk) 22:03, 13 July 2014 (UTC)


 * I believe this article now meets the criteria. A. Parrot (talk) 17:17, 21 July 2014 (UTC)