Talk:Khufu/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Hchc2009 (talk · contribs) 09:41, 14 July 2012 (UTC)

I'll read through later and begin the review proper then. Looks interesting though! Hchc2009 (talk) 09:41, 14 July 2012 (UTC)
 * OK, I'll run through this bit by bit, using the criteria below. I'm not a specialist in Egyptology, so please shout if you think I'm just "not getting" why something is important, or has to be presented in a particular way. Hchc2009 (talk) 07:44, 15 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Right, pretty much done. There's a lot of work on the text to be done before the article's ready for GA status, but if you're prepared to slog through the comments below, it could be done. Some issues may emerge once the text is better sorted; we can deal with those if they emerge. Hchc2009 (talk) 18:46, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
 * Hi - just thought I'd drop by and see how things were progressing. Are you content for me to leave the review open for now? Hchc2009 (talk) 14:06, 16 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Work has rather slowed down on this, so I'm reluctantly going to fail for now. Based on the research that's gone into it, though, I'm convinced it has the potential to be a GA, and I'd encourage the main editors to consider perhaps trying the Guild of Copy Editors for some assistance on the copyediting. Happy to re-review if it comes up again at a later point. Hchc2009 (talk) 06:59, 21 August 2012 (UTC)

Well-written:

(a) the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct;

The lead:


 * The first paragraph probably needs a bit of work. At the moment, most of it is spent describing his alternative names and giving pronunciations, whereas what the typical reader is probably going to want to get onto is the information in the second paragraph about who he was and what he did. I'd recommend shifting most of this into the main part of the article (info in the lead ought to be reflected there as well anyway). You could do this by only using one, rather than two, pronunciation guides each time, and leaving the detail for later in the main article. e.g.

"Khufu ( /ˈkuːfuː/ koo-foo), originally Khnum-Khufu ( /ˈknuːmˈkuːfuː/ knoom-koof), is the birth name of an ancient Egyptian king (pharaoh), who ruled around 2580 B.C. during the 4th dynasty of the Old Kingdom. He is equally well known under his Hellenized name Khêops ( /ˈkiːɒps/, kee-ops; Greek: Χέοψ, by Diodor and Herodotus) and lesser well known under another Hellenized name, Súphis ( /ˈsuːfɨs/ soo-fis; Greek: Σοῦφις, by Manetho).[1][2] A seldom mentioned and therefore very less known name version of Khufu is Sofe ( /ˈsɒfiː/ so-fe; Greek: Σοφe, by Flavius Josephus).[3]"

could become:

"Khufu (koo-foo), originally called Khnum-Khufu (knoom-koof) and also known as Khêops (kee-ops), Súphis (soo-fis) and occasionally Sofe (so-fe), was an ancient Egyptian king (pharaoh), who ruled around 2580 B.C. during the 4th dynasty of the Old Kingdom."

Respond: This form was choosed cuz Egyptologists today prefer to say "king" before "pharaoh", since the latter term is of greek origin and brought up in greek-roman epoques.--Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * " an ancient Egyptian king (pharaoh)," - you could probably get away with just saying "pharaoh", rather than "king (pharaoh)", as its a fairly common word, it's linked, and is followed by the verb "ruled".

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "he followed his father (or stepfather) king Sneferu on the throne." - unclear at this point (although explained later) whether this is telling us that there is uncertainty over his father being his father or stepfather, or if in this context father means stepfather. I'd recommend "he followed his probable father, king Sneferu, on the throne".

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "He is best known for the Giza pyramid, and there are few hints about his life and his reign" - at this point, this reads really oddly. You've mentioned one of the seven wonders of the world, and we're saying there are are few hints about what he did? How about "He is generally accepted as having built the Great Pyramid of Giza, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, but many other aspects of his reign are poorly documented." or something like that?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "The only portrait of the king, that is preserved completely" - "The only complete portrait of the king...?"

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "7,5 cm" and later measurements - have a look at WP:MOSNUM; this should probably be presented as "7.5 centimetres", and have an imperial equivalent given (you could use the convert template if you wanted - e.g. "7.5 cm".

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "All other reliefs and statues were found in small pieces" - "were found in fragments"?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "and from temporarily much later historical documents." -how could a later historical document be anything other than "temporarily later"? I wasn't sure if I was missing something here.

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "But most documents talking about Khufu were written by antique Egyptian and Greek historians. " - If you're going to start with a "But...", I'd run it on from the previous paragraph, rather than starting a new paragraph. Also, I don't think an historian can be an antique - did you mean "ancient"?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done. --Nephiliskos (talk) 15:55, 31 July 2012 (UTC)
 * "Khufu's obituary is presented in ways not easy to evaluate. " - what obituary?
 * "Whilst..." - Wikipedia usually prefers "While..."
 * "Thanks to these up to this day an obscure and critical picture of Khufu's personality is held." - this sentence needs a bit of work

Family section:

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * First paragraph. I couldn't work out if this para is arguing that it used to be the mainstream, accepted opinion that Khufu was the biological son of Sneferu, but this has now changed, or if the line you're taking below is presenting the minority view.
 * "The royal family of Khufu" - could be taken to mean Khufu's wives and children, or his wide relatives. I'd advise dropping it, and starting with the second half of the sentence
 * "it is somewhat uncertain if Khufu was actually the biological son of Sneferu. " - "it is somewhat uncertain" > "It is uncertain if..."

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "but only because it was commonly tradition that the eldest son or a selected descendant inherits the throne" - "commonly the tradition" and "inherited" vice "inherits"

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "In 1925 east of Khufu's pyramid the tomb shaft of queen Hetepheres I, G 7000x, was found. " I'd suggest reversing the order here "Queen Hetepheres I's tomb was found in..."; the G 7000x doesn't mean much to me at all I'm afraid.

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "report her title" "reporting her title"

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.
 * "Therefor it seemed at first to be sure that " > "It seemed clear at first, therefore, that"?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "both of them had to " - "both of them were "

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "But in more recent times some doubts about this theory came up" - "doubts about this theory emerged"?

Respond: Hmmmmm... dunno...--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "The reason for that is the circumstance, that Hetepheres..." "Firstly, Hetepheres..."?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "indispensable for a queen to make her being a queen" - I didn't understand this.

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Instead of the spouse's title Hetepheres " - I'd add a comma after title

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Because of that title it is now thought " - "As a result, it is now thought..."?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " apotheosizing his mother due her titles" - I didn't understand this.

Respond: Hmmmmm... dunno.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Another clue to the theory of non-biological origins might be the circumstance that Khufu's mother was buried..." > "In addition, Khufu's mother was buried..." (You don't need the first bit of the sentence.)


 * "Family Members". There's a bit of repetition here; you've already covered his mother and father extensively in the previous section. The rest needs a little bit of work. e.g.:
 * "His wives were: queen Meritites I (first wife of Khufu) and queen Henutsen (second wife of Khufu)." - as an easier bit of prose, this could be "Khufu had two wives, Queen Maritites I and Queen Henutsen." (note the capitalisation of Queen).

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)


 * "Khufu had lots of children's." - "children.", not "children's."

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Have a second look at "His sons were..." "Khufu had also daughters..." "Also a large number of grandchildren are detected..." (one doesn't normally "detect" grandchildren) "The only for sure proven nephiew..." ("The only proven nephew of Khufu..."?)

Reign: Respond: No. I think it unwise to use any year number.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "It is still unclear how long Khufu ruled over Egypt." - I'd suggest "As of 2012..."

Respond: Ummm, in the books it is!--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "23 years of rulership" - "rulership" is not a common term


 * "All these informations are evaluated today as exaggerations or misinterpretations." - "informations" isn't quite the right word here. "figures"? You don't need to wikilink exaggerations or minterpretations

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Contemporary sources give two hints:" - "hints" > "key pieces of information"? Contemporary doesn't need to be wikilinked.

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.
 * "One of them can be found..." Implies that sometimes it is isn't there.

Respond: Dat´s a fix term in Egyptology. Srry.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Khufu's serekh name" Serekh?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "The second hint" > "The second source..."?

Respond: ?--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "and then lost to historians, in the year 2001 egyptologist Zahi Hawass rediscovered them" - there's a word or something missing missing here.

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * " In case that the cattle count was held every second year (as it was tradition at least until the end of Snefru's reign), " - I'd copyedit this bit.
 * " it would proof that Kheops ruled for sure at least 26, and possibly for even 34 years" > "it would prove that Kheops ruled for at least 26..."

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Why the sudden use of Kheops?

Respond: sure? --Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "There are only few hints about Khufu's political activities within and outside Egypt" - You don't need the "within and outside Egypt" bit.

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Within his own realm..." > "Within Egypt"

Respond: Another fix term in Egyptology. Srry.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "the horus name " ?

Respond: That they were brought and deponated there.^^--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "They were deponated at Saqqara" I'm probably illustrating my ignorance here, but what does deponate mean?

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "Khufu with the double crown." - first time the double crown has been mentioned...

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "several expeditions in attempt to found turquoise and copper mines." - "in attempts to find turquoise and copper mines"? "sources of turquoise and copper"?

Respond: ??? Where???--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "which are also" - "who are also"

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "he was looking fo that two precious materials" - "looking for", but I think its probably superfluous to say that if you want to find a copper mine, you're looking for copper.
 * "Khufu also entertained contacts with Byblos." - "entertained" > "had"?
 * " to Byblos in attempt to trade copper tools and -weapons" > " to Byblos in an attempt to trade copper tools and weapons"

Respond: Ok.^^ Done.--Nephiliskos (talk) 21:28, 1 August 2012 (UTC)
 * "This kind of wood was needed for building nice and stable funerary boats, the boats at the Great Pyramid are made of it." - I'd reexamine "nice and stable"; "are made of it" > "were made of it"?

Monuments and statues:
 * "The only three-dimensional depiction of Khufu that can definitely be connected with him, " "connected with him" is quite vague, and I wasn't quite sure if you meant "accurately depicts him" or something like that?
 * "The figurine was found headless, according to Petrie it was an accident while digging. " - worth adding an "and" after headless? Also, do you mean it was broken by accident while digging?
 * "When Petrie rezognized the importance of the find, " - "recognised" (or "recognized)"
 * " Three weeks later the head were found" - "was"
 * "under its inventory number JE 36143" - could this be footnoted, rather than in the main text?
 * "He argues, that no building that surely dates to the 4th dynasty was ever excavated at Kom el-Sultan or Abydos." -worth looking over this sentence again. (particularly the first comma, the "surely" and "ever excavated")
 * "Hawass compared" - previous sentence were in the present, not past tense.
 * "the artist did not care very much about professionality or diligence." - "professionality or diligence" doesn't read well.
 * "And Khufu himself would have never allowed the display of such a comparely sloppy work. And finally..." I wouldn't recommend starting a sentence with "and", and certainly not two in a row.
 * The second half of the first paragraph feels like it is giving Hawass's argument undue weight, given that you originally say that most Egyptologists don't agree with Hawass.
 * "It is often said that the small figurine was the only preserved statue of Khufu. This is not quite correct." - this doesn't read quite right - it is almost chatty in style. How about "The small figurine is not the only preserved statue of Khufu."?
 * "The Palermo Stone reports on its fragment C-2 the creation of two oversized standing statues for the king, one is said to have been made of copper, the other one made of pure gold." I couldn't work out how this showed there were other preserved statues.
 * "today the complete or partial preserved cartouches with the name Khufu or Khnum-Khuf are left over." "are left over" isn't quite right. *"shows feet of a seating king from their knuckles downward." ? "shows the feet", but while technically have knuckles (full name being the metacarpophalangeal and interphalangeal), there really isn't much of the foot beneath them! :)
 * "Two further objects are on display at the Roemer- und Pelizaeus-Museum Hildesheim, these are also made of alabaster. One of them shows the head of a cat goddess (most possibly Bastet or Sakhmet). The position of her right arm suggests that the bust once belonged to a statue group similar to the well known triad of Mycerinus." I couldn't work out how this related to Khufu.
 * "the head is assigned to Khufu " - "attributed"?
 * " The head is made of limestone and with only 5,7 cm comparatively small." - "with only" what?
 * "Khufu is personal depicted in several relief fragments found scattered in his necropolis and elsewhere. " "personal" > "personally". "found scattered" - unclear what "found" means in this context (originally found? found today?) "and elsewhere" - where?
 * "All reliefs were made of finely polished limestone." all of these reliefs? Are they still made of this?
 * " Some of them originate from the ruined pyramid temple and the destroyed causeway, where they once covered the walls completely." - which temple and causeway are these?
 * " they were obviously prepared as sacrifices during an offering procession. " - "obviously" according to who? Also, how is a row of oxen a personal depiction of Khufu?
 * " And a fourth example shows the king with the double crown and impaling a hippopotamus." - too many "and"s
 * The work-off of the relief is likewise to that of king Snefru." - I didn't understand this.
 * "At the Wadi Maghareh in Sinai a rock inscription" - is the inscription part of the reliefs in the previous paragraph? If so, was it also made of polished limestone?
 * "It is possible, that the lack of this special depicting programm influenced later ancient Greek historians in their assumptions, that Khufu could have actually closed all temples and prohibited any sacrifice." - this sentence needs a bit of work.
 * "It is possible that the lack of building space, the lack of local limestone quarries and the loosened ground at Dahshur forced Khufu to move north, away from the necropolis of his predecessor Sneferu." As written, it isn't at first clear that you're talking about a different location, and not the location from the first sentence.
 * " a base measurement of ca. 230 x 230 metres and today a height of 138,75 metres. " - you'll need imperial equivalent measurements here.
 * "finely polished at their displaying site. " - what's a "displaying site"?
 * "The pyramidion could have been covered with electron, but up to this day there is no archaeological proof for that." - in which case, why do we think it might have been covered in electron?
 * "one of the hardest stone known at Khufu's time." - "stone" > "stones". I think granite remains a hard stone even today.
 * "The used mortar was" > "mortar used"
 * "The monument has its original entrance at the northern side" - I'd revisit the "has" - either go for "had", or "The original entrance is at the northern side of the monument."
 * "Remarkable is the so-called Great Gallery leading to the king's chamber: It has" I'd revisit "Remarkable..." and the capitalisation of "It has..."
 * "At the eastern site, directly in front of the pyramid, the mortuary temple was built." - check the ordering here ("The mortuary temple was built on the eastern site..."?)
 * "Today nothing is left over from the temple." - "left over" > "remains of"?
 * "king's chamber" and other italicised words - why in italics?
 * "(G1-a)" - again, these bold labels don't mean anything to me as a non-specialist, and either need explaining or removing.
 * "Close behind the queen's pyramids" - this could mean physically close, or close in terms of time.
 * "It's a 73,5 x 20,2 metres large limestone statue" "It's" > "It is"
 * "ocher" > "Ochre"
 * " it is passionately disputed " - by who?
 * "are both pretty similar " > "are both similar"
 * "but they also do not perfectly fit." > "but they are not identical."

Khufu in later Egyptian traditions:
 * "Khufu enjoyed an extensive mortuary cult during the Old Kingdom." - the cult is red-linked, and you may need to explain what it is for the rest of the paragraph to make sense.
 * "at least 67 mortuary priests and 6 independent high officials serving at the necropolis are archaeologically attested. " - The "archaeologically attested" seems a very odd phrase.
 * " Ten of them were already serving during the late 4th dynasty (seven of them were royal family members), 28 were serving during the 5th dynasty and 29 during the 6th dynasty. " - I'm not sure I understood this. Were they serving during multiple dynasties?
 * " This is remarkable: Khufu's famous (step-)father Sneferu enjoyed "only" 18 mortuary priesthoods during the same period of time, Djedefra enjoyed even only 8 and Khaefra enjoyed 28." - where is the "only" quoted from? I think the article has explained who Sneferu is now pretty well, so you don't need to do so again.
 * "Such mortuary cults were very important for the state's economy, because for the oblations special domains had to be established. " - Fair enough, but I'm not sure what this is telling us about Khufu.
 * " A huge amount of domain's names is attested for the time of Khufu's reign" - again, "attested"? Are these domains in Khufu's reign, connected to him afterwards...?
 * "But already at the end of the 6th dynasty the sum of domains abated quickly. With the beginning of the 7th dynasty no domain's name is handed down anymore." - is this specific to Khufu, or more generally?
 * "Because all royal names are written inside cartouches, it was often believed that Baufra and Djedefhor once had ruled for short time, but contemporary sources entitle them as mere princes. " - I'm not sure this is relevant to Khufu.
 * "Khufu's attendance roll call in this list might indicate that he (and his followers) was worshipped as a patron saint. " - "attendance roll call"? Not sure I understood this.
 * "A literary masterpiece from 13th dynasty talking about Khufu is the famous Papyrus Westcar" - I'd reorder this.
 * " Within the story, Khufu is characterised in a difficult-to-assess way. " - This sentence needs work.
 * "when deciding to have a condemned prisoner become decapitated " > "when deciding to decapitate a condemned prisoner..."
 * "as inquisitive, reasonable and generous: He" > lower-case "he"
 * "The contradictory depiction of Khufu is object of great disputes between Egyptologists and historians up to this day." > "This contradictory depiction of Khufu is a subject of continuing disputes between Egyptologists and historians."
 * "Especially earlier Egyptologists " Not sure what the "Especially" means here.
 * "who described an exaggerated negative character image of Khufu, ignoring the paradoxical (because positive) traditions the Egyptians themselves had always taught." - this sentence needs a bit of work
 * "suspect that a difficult-to-assess depiction of Khufu was exactly what the author had planned. " - again, you need to fix the "difficult-to-assess" phrase
 * "were newly organized" - "newly organized" or "newly reorganized"?
 * "His son and throne follower" - "throne follower" isn't a common term - what does it mean?
 * " a temple for the goddess Isis were built" > "was built"
 * "the temple got extended" > "got" > "was"
 * " priests of Isis" - why the italics?
 * " From the same dynasty a golden sealing ring with the name of a priest Neferibrê was found at Giza" - what's the link to Khufu?
 * "egyptologists " - sometimes this is capitalised, sometimes not - be consistent
 * "question Khufu's role as a still personally adored royal ancestor," - what role? I don't think you've mentioned this yet.

Khufu in ancient greek traditions:
 * Check the capitalisation of the section heading
 * "and credited him with a rulership of 63 years" - this has already been said above.
 * "Obviously, Manetho thought " - "obvious" to who?
 * "as a heretic and cruel tyrant." - "heretical and cruel tyrant"?
 * "Khufu received a contempt against the gods and that he had written a sacred book about that and that he (Manetho) received that book during his travel through Egypt." - how do you receive a contempt? I can't work out who wrote the book.
 * " that such a precious document could be sold away so easily" - "sold away" - not sure what you mean here.
 * "In chapter 124–126" - "chapters"?
 * ""As long as Rhámpsinîtos was king,..." - this badly needs editing down. It isn't the place, really, for a huge verbatim quote from a primary source.
 * "The same goes for the story about king Khafre." - what's this paragraph got to do with Khufu?
 * "and their sources, which were available at their lifetime, surely were antiquated." - worth having a check over this sentence, it's a bit awkward.
 * "because they surely remembered the heretic pharaoh Akhenaten and his megalomaniac building projects." - they might surely remember him, but it's the first time he's been mentioned in the article, and you may need to explain a bit more.
 * "This extremely negative picture was obviously " - again, "obvious" to who?
 * "the permission of the creation" - ?
 * " At their lifetime, the Greek authors and mortuary priests and temple priests couldn't explain" - "In their lifetime"? "couldn't" > "could not"
 * "since scandalous stories were easier to sell to the folks than positive (and therefore boring) tales" - worth editing this; it is bit casual in tone.
 * " but from the citizens living since ages close to the necropolis, too" - what does "living since ages close" mean?
 * "Within the 'simple folks' also negative or critical views about the pyramids might have been handed down and the mortuary cult of the priests was surely not done only because they liked to do, but because of family traditions." - second half of this sentence doesn't run on too well.
 * "Additionally a long time handed down literary tradition must not proof popularity." ?

Khufu in modern cultural depictions:
 * "Because of his fame," - You don't want to start with a "Because..."
 * " object of several modern receptions," - receptions? Doesn't seem quite right.
 * "documentations." - Are you sure this is the right word?
 * "The story describes the citizens of the 22nd century, which became technically high advanced at one side, but totally immoral on the other side." - the "sides" doesn't fit with the "citizens" or the "which"
 * "Only the mummy of Khufu can save them." - "can" > "could"?
 * "stories of Papyrus Westcar;" - full stop, not semi-colon
 * "are picking out Khufu and his tomb as a theme" - check the tense here.
 * "Well known cinematic movies" - as opposed to non-cinematic movies...?
 * "A close-to-orbit asteroid bears Khufu's name: 3362 Khufu." - I'd avoid a single-sentence paragraph if you can.

(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.


 * Dablinks shows three disambig links to deal with.

Factually accurate and verifiable:

(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;


 * It appears to. I'd advise adding the "German" tags to highlight the German articles.
 * There's a particular formatting style in the footnotes, illustrated here: " Flavius Josephus, Folker Siegert: Über Die Ursprünglichkeit des Judentums (Contra Apionem) (=Über die Ursprünglichkeit des Judentums, Volume 1, Flavius Josephus. From: Schriften Des Institutum Judaicum Delitzschianum, Westfalen Institutum Iudaicum Delitzschianum Münster). Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, Göttingen 2008" I wasn't sure what the (=Über die Ursprünglichkeit des Judentums, bit meant - I'm not familiar with (= being used in this way. Is it a particular academic format?
 * Some titles are in italics, some aren't.
 * Some volumes have location and publisher, some don't.

(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;


 * I think this is fine here.

(c) it contains no original research.


 * Doesn't appear to.

Broad in its coverage:

(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;


 * Some points covered above.

(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).


 * Some points covered above.

Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.


 * Seems neutral.

Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.


 * Stable.

Illustrated, if possible, by images:

(a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;


 * Appear all correct.

(b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.


 * "Kairo" - "Cairo"
 * "Geografical plan of the Khufu necropolis" - "Geographical"
 * "The great sphinx" > "The Great Sphinx"
 * "Cartouche name Chefu in the Abydos King List" why the bolding?