Talk:Kiki Wolfkill/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Aranya (talk · contribs) 14:24, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

I can review this one! Aranya (talk) 14:24, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

Here are my current concerns on content and sourcing:
 * Remove "currently" from the last sentence of lead. Could the year she became transmedia head be used instead?
 * Could you clarify the point on the "creative freedom" her parents gave? Bit unsure about what that means in the context of her childhood.
 * second in Sports Car Club of America (SCCA) Racing - per the cited ref 2 it should be "Sports Car Club of America (SCCA) Club Racing"
 * In 1996, she participated in road racing competitions in the SCCA and Porsche Club Racing circles. - ref 2 says this was from 1996 to 1999
 * I don't see anything from the first three sentences of the Career section's second paragraph in the cited ref 7.
 * The conference speaker blurb from Cre8con is the only questionable ref I'm seeing. Could you replace it, for example with the original publication?
 * I'm not seeing an age anywhere, so Category:1969 births shouldn't be used unless it can be sourced.

Prose, MOS, ref layout:
 * getting degrees in Chinese history, broadcast journalism... -> "getting degrees in Chinese history and broadcast journalism..."
 * drove acquired cars - should this just be "drove cars"?
 * Xbox should be linked
 * by Microsoft in to manage -> "by Microsoft in an effort to manage"
 * spoke out sexist -> "spoke out against sexist"
 * Fortune magazine should be linked
 * 10 Most Powerful Women in Gaming should be in quotes if the original title is used
 * "upcoming" should be removed - I think the Tribeca Games Award was given on June 17
 * Ref 1 (Microsoft): news.microsoft.com seems to be different from the Microsoft News news aggregator currently listed
 * Ref 8 (Vice): Mention of the publisher Vice Media is redundant

Great work on improving this article. I think it's close to passing once the content and sourcing issues are resolved! It's also pretty cool to see a GA nomination that originally started through the Wiki Ed program. I'm going to put this on hold for a week so improvements can be made. Please let me know if you need anymore time. Best, Aranya (talk) 18:07, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Hey Aranya, thanks for the review. I believe I've addressed everything above; the citation issue was me just forgetting I had multiple Ars Technica refs used, and I just left out the (later) story that covered that material. Should be sorted now. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs  talk 16:30, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for addressing all the points, the article looks good to me! I'll go ahead and promote this. Best, Aranya (talk) 18:33, 21 June 2021 (UTC)