Talk:Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cognissonance (talk · contribs) 10:10, 5 June 2017 (UTC)

Huh. It has 69 references. That's the sex number... –Cognissonance (talk) 10:10, 5 June 2017 (UTC)

Infobox

 * If Saori Itamuro and Kazushige Nojima are credited with the story in the lead, they should be added to the story = parameter here.
 * Per the official website, the order of English stars should list Lena Headey second; do this in the lead as well. I came up empty on the Japanese billing order, but mirror the lead with the infobox. Make sure all of this coincides with the Voice cast section as well.
 * Add citation to runtime. Box Office Mojo reports it as 110 minutes long.

Lead

 * (Japanese: キングスグレイブ ファイナルファンタジーXV? Hepburn: Kingusugureibu: Fainaru Fantajī Fifutīn) – I suggest inserting it into a Template:Note label.
 * "in parallel to" – Concerning grammar, "in parallel with" is thought as correct.
 * "who sharing Regis' magical powers" – Grammar and consistency: "who share Regis's magical powers".
 * "Beginning production in 2014 by the same team that created Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005), Kingsglaive used discarded concepts from the original version of the story" – It could be read as using discarded concepts from either Advent Children or Kingsglaive. Clarify.
 * The use of "dedicated CGI studio Visual Works" could be misconstrued as WP:POV. An unmistakable equivalent is "exclusive".
 * "Multiple other external studios" – "other" implies that is was originally developed by external studios.
 * "Its announcement was delayed to 2016 due to the early announcement" – Avoid repetition: "Its announcement was delayed to 2016 due to the early reveal"
 * The box office result is not mentioned.

Setting

 * "occurring in parallel to" – Improve prose and grammar: "which occurs in parallel with".
 * "and is currently at war with Lucis" – The following paragraph uses "war" as well. I suggest changing "at war" to "at odds" for simple variation.
 * "and marry his son Prince Noctis to Lunafreya Nox Fleuret" – Easily read as Regis marrying his own son. Clarify: "and have his son Prince Noctis marry Lunafreya Nox Fleuret".

Plot

 * What are Daemons? Simply link to Daemon (classical mythology) if that's what they are. If something else, elucidate.
 * "Regis, seeing that the empire will eventually overcome Lucis's defenses due to his waning power" – Is Regis Lucis's primary form of defense or was it the defenses that were waning in power? If the former, explain. If the latter, change "his" to "its".
 * "in the hope that he and Nyx can be reunited" – In the afterlife?

Voice cast

 * From Iedolas Aldercapt onward, Behind the Voice Actors can better confirm both voice actors with each given character's individual page.
 * (JP) and (EN) should be added to the final paragraph where appropriate.
 * lip syncing – Link to Lip sync.
 * "there were plans for both the movie and game voice cast to cross over, but they were scrapped" – Improve flow: "there were plans for both the movie and game voice cast to cross over, but were scrapped".
 * "The Japanese voice casting followed a similar model, choosing well-known actors for the lead roles" – Move up to follow its English counterpart.

Production

 * "While distanced from the brand for marketing purposes, the world of XV still uses its mythos and design elements" – Which brand? Final Fantasy in general? Fabula Nova Crystallis Final Fantasy in particular?

Design

 * tech demo – Link to Technology demonstration. Perhaps use its full name first as it is shortened in the next sentence.
 * "The characters' body and facial movements were taken using motion capture" – Clarify: "The characters' body and facial movements were recorded using motion capture".
 * "For characters who appeared in the game such as Ardyn" – I would argue "such as Ardyn" is not necessary for a general sentence like this.

Music

 * Add language=Japanese to ref. 47.

Box office

 * word of mouth – Link to Word of mouth.

Critical response

 * "based on 13 reviews" – 16 now.
 * "although popular opinion was more positive" – Improve prose: "although popular opinion rendered a more positive response".
 * "but found the dialogue to be" – The rest of the article is in American English. For consistency, write "dialog".

Overall

 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * Some grammar issues, and room for improvement in flow and prose. The lead, infobox and voice cast sections should list the actors in the same order.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * Sources check out. Copyvio is clean.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Otherwise a great, comprehensive article.
 * Pass/Fail:
 * I made some minor edits myself. –Cognissonance (talk) 02:06, 6 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Done edits to fix the issues above. --ProtoDrake (talk) 07:52, 6 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Then let's promote this bitch. –Cognissonance (talk) 08:05, 6 June 2017 (UTC)