Talk:Krysty Wilson-Cairns/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kingsif (talk · contribs) 18:44, 23 June 2020 (UTC)

Hi, I'm Kingsif, and I'll be doing this review. This is an automated message that helps keep the bot updating the nominated article's talkpage working and allows me to say hi. Feel free to reach out and, if you think the review has gone well, I have some open GA nominations that you could (but are under no obligation to) look at. Kingsif (talk) 18:44, 23 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Copyvio check looks clear
 * Infobox good, but I don't see why there's both 'education' and 'alma mater' - the latter is used for two schools, while it normally applies to only one (undergraduate university). With three schools, they could all easily go under 'education'
 * tables good, but the filmography key could be moved above the table. Could be improved with image, but not needed at the moment.
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:30, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * lead about the right length. But it shouldn't mention her primary school (rarely significant, even Andy Murray doesn't mention his)
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:30, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Sources all suitable for the context (social media to confirm birthday). Citations used well.
 * talk page and history show it's stable
 * other television series including; Rebus, and Lip Service - this shouldn't have any of that punctuation
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:29, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * thriller project Aether which needs comma after 'Aether'
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:22, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * I'm not sure if the Black List needs a definition at all, but it probably doesn't need such a long one in any case
 * Took it out altogether. Rusted AutoParts  01:29, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Though it is a different job, following the discussion of her writing role on Penny Dreadful with "Her first writing commission was..." feels jarring, perhaps a segue is needed (like "After this," or just "In YEAR, she got her first writing commission. This was...")
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:29, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Penny Dreadful, a show he had been an executive producer on sounds like the reader hasn't been introduced to Penny Dreadful, but they have, so it would read better as "Penny Dreadful, for which he was an executive producer"
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:22, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Needs a comma after 'However'
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:29, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * A lot of the prose seems to be short and simple sentences that would read much easier if connected. The worst is Wilson-Cairns co-wrote the screenplay for Mendes' World War I film 1917 (2019). It was her feature film debut. – "Wilson-Cairns co-wrote the screenplay for Mendes' World War I film 1917 (2019) as her feature film debut." flows much better
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:22, 24 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Her next project is a 'current' phrasing and should be replaced with a simple date where possible. Even 'upcoming' is favoured per not CRYSTALBALL.
 * ✅ Rusted AutoParts  01:22, 24 June 2020 (UTC)

Overall

 * on hold A few things, but quite a nice article. Kingsif (talk) 19:25, 23 June 2020 (UTC)
 * I believe I have addressed all the raised concerns  Rusted AutoParts  01:29, 24 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Yeah, looks good - passes. Kingsif (talk) 01:42, 24 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much. Rusted AutoParts  01:51, 24 June 2020 (UTC)