Talk:Kyle Dubas/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 14:17, 2 September 2019 (UTC)

I'll pick this one up, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 14:17, 2 September 2019 (UTC)

Initial review

Lead

 * I'd link General manager here and in the infobox. It's not a widely used term outside the U.S.
 * Link agent to Sports agent.
 * "eventually ending up as their general manager", ending up is a little informal. Being appointed, perhaps?
 * "behind Arizona Coyotes general manager John Chayka", probably don't need to repeat GM here.

Early life and education

 * "His father was a Greyhounds intern", is this the same Greyhounds team mentioned later in the sentence? If so, the link should be moved here.

Player agent

 * Link agent again for the first main text mention here.

Junior hockey

 * Add an abbreviation in brackets (GM) after the first use of general manager so that the term is explained for future use.
 * "In this position, he hired Sheldon Keefe as head coach", the last position mentioned before this is as a dressing room attendant. Perhaps start with "As general manager..." to avoid confusion.

National Hockey League

 * "introduced blinded reviews", what are these?
 * "in terms of what where your organization can go", I think it's safe to assume the what is a typo. There are refs which don't include it
 * "During the 2018–2019 season" > 2018-19?

Personal life

 * As this is a new section, I'd start with Dubas rather than "His".

Response
Thanks so much for the review. I had no issues making most of these changes, and they were mostly straightforward. In the National Hockey League section - I expanded the "blinded reviews" section - please check if that is understandable, and then for the third bullet point in this section of your review - I am not sure I understand what you mean? Happy to make adjustments, just not sure what!

For refs 3 and 8, the links were redirects to the newspapers main page, so I replaced them both. Please let me know if there is anything else I missed! Canada Hky (talk) 18:12, 3 September 2019 (UTC)


 * Apologies, I should have explained that third point more. I think the norm for mentioning seasons would be for the four-two digit format (2018–19), like you use just before this, rather than full years (2018–2019). Kosack (talk) 18:18, 3 September 2019 (UTC)
 * Ahh, yes - that makes sense, and I fixed it. Thanks for the clarification!  Canada Hky (talk) 19:17, 3 September 2019 (UTC)
 * No worries, I think that's it from me. I'm happy this covers all the bases required of a GA class article. Happy to promote. Kosack (talk) 19:32, 4 September 2019 (UTC)