Talk:Lake Patzcuaro salamander/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Grungaloo (talk · contribs) 01:49, 15 December 2023 (UTC)

Hi, I'm going to take this GAN review on. I'll try to have a complete review for you in the next few days. Feel free to ping me with questions! grungaloo (talk) 01:49, 15 December 2023 (UTC)


 * @Grungaloo Thanks for the review!! :D  🏵️ Etrius ( Us) 02:22, 15 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Hi again - I'm finished my review! I see you've already started to work through some comments, but if you run into anything you disagree with or don't understand please let me know! I think this is well on its way to be GA, and it's mostly minor corrections to get it there. grungaloo (talk) 21:51, 15 December 2023 (UTC)
 * @Grungaloo, that should be everything. Thanks again!! 🏵️ Etrius ( Us) 23:10, 15 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks! Everything looks great, I'm happy to promote this. Thanks for all the work you put into this and congratulations! Also, FWIW I think the Falcor quote would make a good DYK nomination. grungaloo (talk) 00:40, 16 December 2023 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * See comments below Issues addressed
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
 * See comments below Issues addressed
 * 1) Is it verifiable with no original research?
 * A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
 * References listed.
 * B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
 * Good sources, appropriately cited.
 * C. It contains no original research:
 * Everything is properly cited, no obvious OR.
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * Not plagiarized from sources, nothing found when run through detector.
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * Good coverage. Good coverage of both the salamander and it's social/historical context. A few minor expansions could be added, see comments.
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * Perfect amount of detail.
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * Meets NPOV
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * No recent reverts, no sign of edit warring.
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * Images all have correct license/attribution
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * Good use of limited images available from Wikicommons. Could add some of their habitat.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Minor issues to resolve, see comments. Issues resolved, passed!

General Comments

 * Achoque vs Ambystoma dumerilii - Both names are used throughout the article, generally I suggest sticking to one throughout. There are some cases in this where it works well though, namely where you're also talking about axolotls. I'm open to having both left in - thoughts?
 * ✅, I did some tidying up.


 * MOS:HEAD - Section headings should use sentence case.
 * ✅, except in the conservation section, these are proper nouns


 * Suggest adding a map showing the location of Lake Patzcuaro. This could either go in the info box of Distribution section. Could also add a picture of the lake itself in the distribution section. Wikicommons seems to have some already

Lead

 * Taxobox, (Emmett Reid Dunn, 1939) - remove the space before the comma.


 * - I think this semicolon doesn't quite work. Because of the clause about Auguste Dumeril, it makes the part after the semicolon seem disconnected. The intent is good, but I'd either split to a separate sentence or try a rewrite.
 * ✅, split sentences


 * - has led to the species being classified...
 * ✅, split sentences


 * - and that the species may go extinct...
 * ✅, split sentences


 * - MOS:FOREIGN I don't think in-situ needs to be italicized since it's common in English. Also, later in article it's no italicized.
 * ✅, split sentences

Taxonomy and Evolution

 * - The species was first described...
 * ✅, split sentences


 * - MOS:FOREIGN I think all terms in quotation marks should be italicized, and they should be double quotes ("). Also, the semicolon after "Spanish Ajolote" should be a comma.
 * ✅, split sentences


 * - Era should be lower case.
 * ✅, split sentences


 * - "Neovolcanic Axis" links to Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt, and I can't find the term "Neovolcanic Axis" in that article. Should this be updated to use the article title instead? Also, Mexican Plateau - the P should be capitalized.
 * ✅ So, 'Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt' and 'Neovolcanic Axis' are synonymous, but I clarified anyway


 * - Repeated use of "separating" sounds a bit odd. Could this be reworded?

Description

 * - "Their toes, rostrum of the head... compared to their body". The articles should match for a better flow, so alternatively you can change "compared to the body".


 * - Remove extra space before "the color of Dijon mustard". Also, this is a really cute quote :)
 * ✅, I like to add a fun factoid in these GAs, makes the work so much more enjoyable.


 * - Starting a paragraph with "Their" sounds odd, try naming the species again for clarity.


 * - "are widest along the thorax"


 * - "The legs are short and stocky, and their webbed toes..." Otherwise the description of the legs and toes run together.


 * - "4", change to "four"


 * - Compared in what sense?
 * ✅, made the sentence a bit more clear

Life Cycle

 * - Suggest rewriting a bit to group things better. "They lack ectodermal projections and gill fimbriae, are a brown colour, and have developing from limbs".


 * - Consider changing "achieved" for "reached"


 * - There's a lot of parenthetical clauses in this sentence. It makes sense as is so feel free to keep it, but it might be more easily understood if it's split up. Consider splitting out what larval characteristics they keep.


 * - Drop the "of" before the first "Abystoma". Also, what is "facilitative neoteny"? It's not clear from this what it means, and the article on Neoteny doesn't explain it either.


 * In the metamorphosis section, consider quickly explaining what metamorphosis means for salamanders in particular. People may generally be aware of metamorphosis for things like butterflies, but salamanders less so. You could also link to Salamander.
 * ✅, I linked the better article. Its a bit outside the scope of a species page to explain such a broad topic.


 * - post-transformation


 * - Tiger salamander shouldn't be capitalized.

Behavior and ecology

 * - Is water column the right term? It's an oceanographic term typically (at least that I know of) so not sure it applies here.
 * ✅, cut


 * - drop the comma between "native" and "predatory"


 * - They may be predated on? Despite low numbers, presumably predation still occurs.
 * Might be is most accurate here. There has never been any observed predation, mainly because there are so few of the species left. The claim is largely based upon inference.


 * - Drop the comma here


 * - Drop "in", probably a leftover from a previous edit?


 * - change off-spring to offspring.


 * - There's an extra comma here somewhere. I think you mean "A mexicanum, and A dumerilii in particular, demonstrate no behavioral..."?

Distribution and threats

 * - WP:CITEFOOT, references [fn 16] and [fn 9] should come after punctuation or at the end of the sentence.


 * - "Critically" should not be capitalized


 * - Can drop the comma between "destruction" and "and pollution"


 * - and was often given to lactating women


 * - Change over-fishing to overfishing

Conservation efforts

 * "Sisters" vs "sisters" - Both are used when talkinga bout the Basilica, since it's a title I think "Sisters" capitalized is the appropriate use. Could you make sure they all match that?


 * - MOS:FOREIGN, should jarabe be italicized? Jarabe is in a later sentence too.


 * - Specimen sounds a bit odd here because it could be read as being singular. Maybe use achoque instead?