Talk:Laundromat (song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 05:49, 25 November 2016 (UTC)

Review arriving soon... Cartoon network freak (talk) 05:49, 25 November 2016 (UTC)
 * Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 14:31, 25 November 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * Nivea, from her → Nivea for her
 * I have reworded the first sentence to avoid the repetition of the word "album" in the first two sentences. Aoba47 (talk) 23:58, 27 November 2016 (UTC)


 * The song was released → you've already used "song" before
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:58, 27 November 2016 (UTC)


 * third single from the album → you've already used "album" before
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:58, 27 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Through which label was the song released?
 * Added. Aoba47 (talk) 23:58, 27 November 2016 (UTC)


 * wrote and produced the song → you can maybe use "track" here?
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * with lyrics that revolve → and lyrically revolves
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Link "critical response" to music journalism
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * The choice of Kelly as Nivea's duet partner did received → However, the choice of Kelly as Nivea's duet partner received
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * that Kelly had sexual relations → you can use "he" here
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * In the United States, it peaked at at number 20 → you jump here from one complete different topic to another. Please introduce this, like "Commercially, the recording peaked in the United States at number 20
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * and number 58 → and at number 58
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * I think you should mention the Hot 100 first
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * mention that Hot R&B Songs is a component chart of Billboard
 * I am not sure that this is necessary as it is covered through the wikilink, and it would seem unnecessarily detailed to give a definition of the chart in the lead. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * of number thirty-three → of number 33
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * In the music video → In the accompanying music video
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * one of the worst music videos → use "visuals" instead of "music videos" here
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * allegations of Kelly having sexual relations with underage girls. → Kelly's allegations. (you described which allegation these are in the second para already)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * July 29, 2013 → we don't need an exact date for such an event in the lead; reword to "In July 2013"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * campaign. Knowles received → campaign, eventually, receiving
 * Done. Did not use "eventually" as I did not find it appropriate as the reviews were conducted immediately after the performance. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

 * Zomba Records → never use "records" in infoboxes
 * Removed. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


 * Instead of writing R. Kelly two times, only list his last name (Kelly) the second time
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 16:03, 29 November 2016 (UTC)

Background and release

 * Unlink Kelly here
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 17:13, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * and Nivea served as executive producers for the single → You used both "served" and "single" before; alternate
 * Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 17:13, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Following the commercial success of "Don't Mess with My Man",[4] it was released → Subsequently, following the single's commercial success, it was distributed
 * Partially done. I believe that "Don't Mess with My Man" needs to be stated again as "the single" can be read to refer to either "Laundromat" or "Don't Mess with My Man".


 * from American singer Nivea's self-titled debut album → from Nivea's eponymous debut studio album; unlink "Nivea" here
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 17:13, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * It was sent to was sent to → It was additionally sent to
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 17:13, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * playlists, even while "Don't Mess With My Man" was still receiving heavy airplay. → playlists alongside "Don't Mess With My Man"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 17:13, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * The CD single → A CD single (we don't know about the CD until now)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 17:13, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Composition and lyrical interpretation

 * a R&B → an R&B (reads a'rendbe)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * twenty-three seconds → 23 seconds
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * who appears as an uncredited feature → whose vocal delivery is uncredited
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * The song is composed → you've already used "song" before
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Its instrumentation → The track's instrumentation
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * an electric piano and an acoustic piano → an electric and acoustic piano.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * as well as the rest → as well as on the rest
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * that it's → that its
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * who viewed it as an example of a slow jam → who saw it as →→an example of slow jam
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * In the lyrics, the → In the lyrics, a
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Unlink "chorus"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * lyrics: "You're a lying → lyrics, "You're a lying
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * a ..." → a [...]"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * In the chorus, Kelly sings the following laundry-related lyrics: "Soap → For the refrain, Kelly sings the laundry-related lyrics, "Soap
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Audio sample > Nivea – "Laundromat" → Only the song's title
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Audio sample > A 15-second sample of the song, where Kelly sings the chorus. The lyrics features references to doing laundry. → A 15-second sample of the song, where Kelly delivers vocals for the refrain. The lyrical content of the track is laundry-related.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:32, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Taylor concluded by saying that it was a → The review concluded that the single was a
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * YouKnowIGotSoul.com → Remove the ".com", as well in the source
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * from the album → from Nivea
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Add release year in brackets for "Don't Mess with the Radio"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * metaphor. it pointed to → metaphor, it pointed out
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Vibe's Laura Checkoway, however, viewed → However, Vibe's...
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Kelly having sexual → him having sexual
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Writer Mark Anthony Neal agreed with Checkoway, and expressed → Echoing this thought, writer... (because it sounds like they know each other and agree)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * discomfort to taking → discomfort in taking
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Picture > The inclusion of R. Kelly received some negative reactions, while Fuse praised his vocals on the chorus → Kelly's (unlink him) (pictured) contribution to the song received mixed response from media outlets.
 * Done. I do not believe (pictured) is necessary as he is the only one in the image. Aoba47 (talk) 20:33, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * Following its release → Upon its release (sounds better)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * found minor success → experienced minor success
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * In the week of → For the week ending
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Billboard Hot 100. It stayed on the chart → Billboard Hot 100, remaining in the chart
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * it also peaked at number 20 → use "reached number 20" here for alternation
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * and stayed on the chart for twenty weeks → and was present in the chart for 20 weeks
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * It appeared → It further appeared
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * of number thirty-three → at number 33
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * UK Singles chart → UK Singles Chart
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * two weeks on the chart → two weeks in the chart
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * It was Nivea's second top-40 entry → It marked Nivea's second top 40 entry
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * with Mystikal "Danger → with Mystikal on "Danger
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 20:34, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Music video

 * The music video was released → An accompanying music video for the song premiered (sound better)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * For a majority of the video, → Over the rest of the visual
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * the video was released as a part of a CD single, with the radio edit → the clip was included on a CD single alongside the radio edit
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * "Laundromat' and a remix of → comma before "and" as a new idea starts here.
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * It was listed as one of the "6 Worst Music Videos Shot in Laundromats" by Phoenix New Times's Troy Farah, who simply described it as "Ewww" → place this at the end of this section
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Kelly's parts → Kelly's vocal delivery (you've already used "parts" before)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * as a DJ → as a disc jockey
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * for Kelly's 2002 → for the latter's 2002 (word rep.)
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * In the article → In his article
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Mark Anthony Neal → you've already mentioned his full name in the "Critical reception" section; re-word to "writer Neal concluded"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * choose → past tense
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Solange Knowles version

 * Boerum Hill. It was a part of → Boerum Hill, as part of
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * and The Fader; it was also performed as a part of the → and The Fader; and the
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Knowles performed the song as a part of a medley with American experimental rock band Dirty Projectors' track "Stillness Is the Move". She sang it while dancing on top of washing machines; she attributed her performing style to the location, explaining: "This laundromat has me feeling the drama queen, so excuse my theatrics". → The song was sung in a medley with... (YEAR OF RELEASE) while dancing on top of washing machines. Concerning this, the singer confessed, "..."
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * both of Nivea and R. Kelly's parts, while accompanied → both Nivea's and Kelly's parts, while being accompanied
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * The song was altered → Additionally, the song was altered
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * TheDrop.fm → Remove ".fm" here and in the source, as well
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * 31 best covers of 2013. The website commended → 31 best covers of 2013, further praising
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * her vocals, but also wrote: "we love → her vocal delivery, but also writing, "we love
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * listened to the song → use "track" for example here for alternation
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * add year of release in brackets for her studio album
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Formats and track listings

 * It is sufficient if you rename this section to "Track listing" only
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:43, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * flawless ;)
 * Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Charts

 * flawless ;)
 * Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Release history

 * U.K. → United Kingdom
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * U.S. → United States
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Unlink labels and remove "Records", respectively
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Please remove "!scope="row" for dates
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Move references to the countries, respectively
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)


 * Use "rowspan="3" for multiple instances of "CD single"
 * Done. Aoba47 (talk) 21:44, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Copy-violation

 * 18.7% is perfect!
 * Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 21:45, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Images

 * Images perfectly illustrate the article.
 * Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 21:45, 4 December 2016 (UTC)

Links

 * No problems here!
 * Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 21:45, 4 December 2016 (UTC)