Talk:Laura Matsuda/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator: 06:45, 23 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: QuicoleJR (talk · contribs) 15:43, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

I'll take this one. QuicoleJR (talk) 15:43, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

The article is overall pretty good, but I did notice a few things. The article also passes the spot check. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:54, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

Lead

 * a character from 1997's Street Fighter III and its updates. What does “updates” mean here?
 * Removed, not really necessary to grasp in this case.
 * In live action portrayals of the character, she was played by Natascha Hopkins for the web mini-series Street Fighter: Resurrection. I think you should cut everything before the first comma. The sentence just doesn't sound right as-is.
 * Restructured
 * originally having them exposed in her finalized design “Originally” implies it was later changed, while “finalized design” implies it was not changed. This should be fixed.
 * Fixed
 * the character has received mixed reception, with her moveset being praised, but her story and lack of character was criticized. The grammar is incorrect here.
 * Fixed
 * while others served more to appeal to the male gaze. What do you mean by that?
 * Fixed to be clearer

Conception and development

 * motions related to the sport This part could be worded better.
 * Made more direct
 * and revealing varying degrees of her body What are “degrees” of a person's body?
 * Rewrote to be clearer
 * and along with her voluptuous body was meant to give her a more pronounced South American look. What does “voluptuous” mean? I might just be dumb here, but there are probably more common words you could use to express this sentiment.
 * Added quote to voluptuous, it's their term not mine.
 * but deciding to be "honest with himself" instead. I have no clue what this is supposed to mean here.
 * Tweaked. Was trying to be careful not to put words in his mouth, but I feel the context is the same still with this edit.

Reception

 * examined her on the grounds of her portrayal of race and feminism, I feel like this sentence would read better if you cut “on the grounds of her”.
 * Fixed
 * IMO, the Brazilian Society is too heavily quoted. If possible, I would prefer to have much of this paraphrased.
 * Rewrote


 * I think I addressed everything, lemme know if anything else comes up!--Kung Fu Man (talk) 16:19, 20 July 2024 (UTC)