Talk:Laurence Cousin/Archive 1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 13:02, 6 January 2023 (UTC)

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the ✅ tag to state when something is addressed.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Lede

 * Considered a pioneer in the sport, Cousin became in 2005 the first European female black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and in 2007 the first woman from outside Brazil to become IBJJF World Champion - could probably be expanded. Maybe "In 2005, Cousin became the first European female black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu after winning bronze at the 2005 IBJJF World Championship. Two years later, in 2007, she became the first woman from outside Brazil to win the 2007 IBJFF World Jiu-Jitsu Championship, finishing runner-up the following year." I'd also mention something post-2008 as she did win a European championship.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:23, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ Expanded the lead. I left out "runner-up" as it is not really a term used in BJJ and I'd rather only list her key accomplishments in the lead. Post 2008 she did not win a European championship but one of the "trials" which is a tournament to select the competitors for the championship, I added a note about that. Lewolka (talk) 11:53, 10 January 2023 (UTC) edited Lewolka (talk) 09:22, 12 January 2023 (UTC)

General

 * Probably wise to link jargon terms (so each of the belts) in first usage.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ Lewolka (talk) 11:53, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * competing in the purple/brown/black division - this might need explaination to the non-afficionado.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ notes added Lewolka (talk) 11:54, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * beating favourite Leticia Ribeiro of Gracie Humaita in the semi-final.[ - whilst this is fine, who she beat in the final is also relevant.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ Lewolka (talk) 11:54, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * European (and French) BJJ - obviously.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ changed it to French and European BJJ black belt Lewolka (talk) 11:55, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * the Gi and No-gi categories - is this the correct capitals? Is Gi a proper noun, but not in "No-gi"?  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ should be Gi and No-Gi, fixed it Lewolka (talk) 11:56, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * won double gold at the 2014 London Open International[15] followed - might need to explain how one wins double gold.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ added explanation Lewolka (talk) 12:02, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * (2005 brown[a]) - notes should go after punctuation.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ Lewolka (talk) 11:56, 10 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Mitsuyo Maeda > Carlos Gracie > Helio Gracie > Flavio Behring > Laurence Cousin - this will need explaination to understand.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Lineage is a traditional concept in martial arts and in BJJ in particular, it shows who awarded her that BJJ belt and how that belt can be traced back to the Gracie family, the founders of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. It is a pretty common section on martial art articles as you can see here. Lewolka (talk) 11:58, 10 January 2023 (UTC) edited Lewolka (talk) 09:17, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
 * I get that other articles use this - and I'm sure it's important for the subject. However, there is no prose to explain what I'm looking at. Even a single sentence explaining what the information is would be helpful.  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 12:04, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
 * No problem have added an intro phrase, let me know if this is clear enough. Lewolka (talk) 16:01, 12 January 2023 (UTC)

Review meta comments

 * I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 13:02, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your time! @Lee Vilenski, Best Lewolka (talk) 11:19, 7 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Hello @Lee Vilenski, I believe I have addressed all of your points, please let me know if you have any questions or if you think anything else is needed Thank you! Lewolka (talk) 09:21, 12 January 2023 (UTC)