Talk:Leïla Kilani

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Luna9881. Peer reviewers: K223an, Oddball3055.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 00:04, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Assessment of Article Draft
Revisions necessary

You're off to a good start, but you still have some revisions to do before moving your material into mainspace.


 * You need to add a bit more prose to reach 500 words (you currently have 350)
 * Film titles should always be italicized (and not underlined).
 * There is an existing page for one of Kilani's films, Our Forbidden Places, which should link to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Forbidden_Places
 * Grammar needs to be fixed and some of your sentences should be worked (such as "Leila Kilani studies the subjects of Economy, Mediterranean history and Civilization") in the "Early Life and Education" section but especially the "Career" section. Sentences are quite long, so they should be split up. Proofread for readability and to fix grammatical errors.
 * The "Filmography" section repeats information from the "Career" section, so I suggest turning this section into a list.
 * You have an Awards section that is empty right now. Do you plan to fill it in with information? If not, I'd remove it.
 * The citation from Black Camera is missing information -- it was correct in your annotated bibliography.

--110laurent (talk) 00:09, 22 February 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review
By K223an

Your article is very well written, the lead was concise but still very informative. Good use of the quotes from interviews with the film maker, it gives the reader a better understanding of the film makers style. Structure was clear but i would emphasize her career and achievements before her early life and education. Make sure to watch out for run on sentences, but nice job overall! — Preceding unsigned comment added by K223an (talk • contribs) 22:17, 28 February 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review
Oddball3055

Overall a well written article with good sources, and cited well. In terms of grammar there are too many "fluff" words or repetition such as repeating "Morocco" in the opening paragraph; you can take off the second and third uses of it. What are the issues that are shown in her films? Are they not the difficult living conditions?

Early Life and Education Where did she study? Change "had become" to "became." Change to "and she obtained a Master's Degree in Mediterranean History and Civilization." During the 1990s "and" 2000s (no apostrophes). Formatting the title of her first film name.

Career Here you say that her birthplace was Tangier but in the introduction you say she was born in Casablanca. Capitalize "French" newspaper. Change "more noticed" to a more flowing adjective.

Oddball3055 (talk) 19:12, 29 February 2016 (UTC)