Talk:Leave Me Be/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:12, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

This was actually nominated one day before my birthday; will start the review today! --K. Peake 08:12, 8 June 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * The ref is not needed in the infobox, as the release date is written out in the body
 * Pop rock genre is unsourced; write out and source it in background and comp
 * The word "initially" is not needed in the first sentence since the song was fully recorded by the band
 * Pipe single to Single (music)
 * "during their hectic schedule." → "during the band's heavy schedule."
 * The lead after this point is out of order somewhat; the sentence about comp/lyrics should be after the Decca release sentence, which should be directly after the re-recording sentence and also be followed by the United States release sentence. Also, the mixed reviews sentence should come before commercial performance.
 * "a common theme in the Zombies music." → "a theme previously present in the band's music." since it is not sourced as commonly present, exactly
 * The backing track was recorded in September, so shouldn't it only be mentioned in the following sentence and reworded?
 * "the band recorded" → "the Zombies recorded"
 * Remove introduction to Ken Jones because that being solely in the body is sufficient
 * "it would eventually be re-recorded a few months later" → "the vocals would eventually be re-recorded a few months later." to specify
 * "released "Leave Me Be" as the" → "released the song as the"
 * Remove the part comparing to its predecessor, plus the commercial sentence should be the second of the para in the new order (reviews first)
 * "as it flopped worldwide; it only graced" → "due to flopping worldwide, only gracing"
 * Remove wikilink on Australian
 * Remove wikilink on United States, though all of this can be kept apart from the therefore part since it lacks context in new order
 * "with critics deeming it" → "with some critics deeming it"
 * "on a compilation album in 1966," → "on the compilation album I Love You in 1966," with the wikilink
 * "has received retrospective praise with it becoming" → "has received retrospective praise, becoming"
 * Where is the ignored part sourced in the body?
 * Pipe cult to Cult following
 * Change Ola and the Janglers to Ola & the Janglers

Background and composition

 * Pipe single to Single (music)
 * Remove wikilink on United Kingdom
 * Did Record Retailer really run multiple charts or just the one? If the latter, then drop the plural.
 * "it largely established" → "the track largely established"
 * "which although was positively reviewed" → "which despite being positively reviewed" for correct grammar
 * "the majority of all critical acclaim" → "the majority of the acclaim" since "all" reads weirdly and critics are mentioned later on
 * [10] should be solely at the end of the first para due to backing up the last two sentences
 * The second para should be the last of the section instead, as it is the one that deals with comp
 * "that connects it to" → "that connect it to"
 * Add a comma after song structure
 * "it on instrument."" → "it on instrument"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "He also adds" → "Johansen also adds" so it's clear
 * [11] after the above sentence should only be invoked at the end of the para, as it is used for everything from then onwards
 * "as he uses an odd chord progression on the song," → "since he uses an odd chord progression on it,"
 * "until the end of the song," → "until the conclusion," to be less repetitive
 * "Johansen states that" → "The author states that" to avoid using his surname to start two consecutive sentences
 * Pipe tonic scale to Tonic (music)
 * Shouldn't you mention that the song features organ per Disc and Music Echo; the mention in reception can remain there too since it is only saying the critic praised that element.
 * Pipe despair to Depression (mood)
 * "calls it a" → "called the song a"
 * The word rock should not be capitalised
 * "on their debut." → "on the Zombie's debut studio album..." before mentioning the title and adding its release year in brackets
 * "The song was initially recorded" → ""Leave Me Be" was initially recorded"
 * "on 13 August 1964 together" → "on 13 August 1964, together"
 * "and instead the group entered" → "with the band instead entering" unless "the group" means the band and then only change the other parts
 * "with the band was also present during that" → "with them was also present during the"
 * "The group performed 8 takes" → "The Monkeys performed eight takes" per MOS:NUM and see my earlier comment to know if the group needs changing
 * "until 5 September, when they once again returned to Decca studios to record" → "until 5 September 1964, once again returning to Decca for recording"
 * "and then choosing the best" → "before choosing the best"
 * Pipe overdub to Overdubbing
 * "on "She's Not There" wanted" → "on "She's Not There", wanted"
 * "and the group's" → "and the Monkeys'"
 * Change the group to the band in the following sentence if it does not mean a recording group, plus remove wikilink on United States

Release and commercial performance

 * "for an US-release of" → "for a US-release of"
 * "number 2 on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 1 on Cashbox Top 100." → "number two on the Billboard Hot 100 and number one on the Cashbox Top 100." per MOS:NUM
 * "more successful in the US" → "more successful in the United States" per MOS:US
 * "So on 16 October 1964," → "Therefore, on 16 October 1964,"
 * "as their second single." → "as the Monkeys' second single."
 * "Argent's "Woman" which had" → "Argent's "Woman", which had"
 * "did not even chart in" → "failed to chart in"
 * "as record-buyers wanted the hit single" → "since record-buyers wanted the hit" to avoid overusing "single"
 * "The single was issued in" → ""Leave Me Be" was issued in"
 * Remove wikilink on Australia
 * Mention the country's chart by name
 * "held for 2 weeks" → "held for two weeks" but something here is inaccurate since it says the song held the position for two weeks but dropped out the week after its entry
 * "US release, and instead being relegated to the B-side of their" → "US release and instead being relegated to the B-side of the Monkeys'"
 * "which were re-recorded" → "that were recorded" because it makes no grammatical sense to say that alternate vocals were re-recorded
 * "on their debut UK album" → "on the band's debut UK album" plus add release year in brackets
 * ""Woman was also included on the Zombies" → ""Woman" was also included on the Zombies'" plus mention the release year
 * "got its first album release" → "experienced its first album release"
 * Remove pipe on Swedish
 * "after its initial release," → "after the initial release,"
 * "recordings by the group." → "recordings by the band."
 * "along with the backing track was" → "and the backing track were"

Critical reception and legacy

 * Img looks good!
 * "to garner several generally positive reviews." → "to garner some positive reception." to read less weirdly
 * Pipe Disc and Music Echo to Disc (magazine)
 * The quote in the first sentence of the review from the above publication needs an ending
 * "and also praised Argent's" → "further praising Argent's"
 * "He ends by" → "Nicholl ends by"
 * Pipe wistful to Melancholia
 * "liked the sound of the introduction, and" → "likes the sound of the song's introduction and"
 * "She enjoyed the mysterious sound that the group established, however, deemed it" → "She enjoys the mysterious sound that the band established, however, deems the song"
 * "She said it had" → "Shaw says it had"
 * "that he liked the song," → "that he likes the song,"
 * "He furthermore added that the single was balanced, and seemed" → "Furthermore, Aldersley adds that the single is balanced and seems"
 * "the singles is" → "the song is"
 * "and compares the sound" → "and compare the sound"
 * "He compares it to" → "He compared it to"
 * "the self-referencial lyrics that" → "the self-referencial lyrical content that"
 * "writes that "Leave Me Be" → "writes that "Leave Me Be"" plus not sure if it should be "has" or "had", depends on what the source says
 * "compared it to" → "compared the song to"
 * "the time it was released." → "the time "Leave Me Be" was released."
 * "record, and states" → "record and states"
 * "has similarly stated dismay" → "has similarly expressed dismay"
 * "He closes with stating" → "He closed by stating"
 * Merge the last para with the fourth since it's too short
 * Pipe cult to Cult following
 * "among the group's fans," → "among the Monkeys' fans,"
 * [13] should be solely at the end of the merged para due to backing all of it up

Personnel

 * You need a source for where the credits are adapted from
 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel

Charts

 * Good

Covers

 * Retitle to Cover versions, plus move to being directly before personnel
 * Write out in prose instead of a bulleted list
 * Change Ola and the Janglers to Ola & the Janglers
 * "recorded a version for" → "recorded a cover for"
 * "recorded a version for" → "covered the song for"
 * "Nitsuh Abebe called it" → "Nitsuh Abebe called the song"

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; took more than a day to review because I've been a bit focused on my FAC. --K. Peake 08:54, 9 June 2021 (UTC)

I just recently revisited this article, and changed up pretty much everything you listed. I may have forgotten one or two things, but looking over the text, I appear to be done. As you appeared to be busy according to your text I do not want to stress you; take your time. VirreFriberg (talk) 11:44, 10 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for being considerate; I would have got back to you on this before if I'd known of the response, but there was no mention so give me one next time. Due to your usage of the Johansen source, both of the rock genres should be listed in the infobox, also remove ballad from there since it's not a genre and pipe the term to Sentimental ballad in prose. You have missed re-ordering the lead in the manner I suggested, as well as changing the backing track bit; lead still says it started being recorded in August when the body backs up this as September. --K. Peake 18:34, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks, I've rewritten the parts you listed and attempted to write the lead in the way you wrote. VirreFriberg (talk) 19:08, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, looks good! --K. Peake 20:06, 15 June 2021 (UTC)