Talk:Leggo My Meg-O/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Status (talk · contribs) 05:34, 23 June 2012 (UTC)

Lead

 * after suffering in school → suffering? ✅ Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * In this episode, Meg gets kidnapped in Europe after suffering in school and Brian and Stewie will do whatever it takes to get her back. → I think this whole sentence needs to be reworked. It doesn't really give the reader a good insight in what actually happens. ✅ copied parts from the page Family Guy (season 10). Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)

Plot

 * After getting assaulted by everyone else during dodgeball → Not sure if assaulted would be the right word to use, but I really don't know what other word I could suggest to use. Also, instead of getting → being ✅ Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Meg talks to her friend Ruth about how much she hates being at school and wonders if she can tolerate the rest of the semester, then learns that Ruth is going to spend a semester in Paris and is invited to join her in the program. → Separate into two sentences. "She then learns..." ✅ Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Meg is able to enroll in the program as her family sees her off. → She enrolls in the program while her family is watching her leave? ✅ split in two sentences. Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * However, as she and Ruth get settled in while she makes a call to Peter, it turned out the man called associates of his as they break into the apartment. → Poorly written sentence. Maybe something like, "As Meg makes a call to Peter in her bedroom, she witnesses several men kidnap Ruth". ✅ Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Seeing them kidnap Ruth, Meg tries to hide under the bed, as what Peter told her to do, but they take her. → When she tells Peter what she witnessed, he tells her to hide under the bed. She complies, but the men find and take her anyway. ✅ Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * The Griffins call the FBI to hopefully get Meg back. Concerned by it, Brian and Stewie get to Paris themselves to save Meg. → Shouldn't it also be mentioned why? They had to wait, I believe, 72 hours before a person can be called missing? That's why they went to Paris themselves. ✅ thanks Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * They then see Meg being sold as a sex slave. However, Stewie is mistaken for a sex slave product and Brian has to get him back. → More things happen before this. They find out where they took Meg, which is being sold for a sex slave. Stewie dressed up as one to get in. Then Stewie is sold himself. ✅ reworded some sentences too Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * to which the episode abruptly ends there → remove ✅ I removed the whole sentence, I don't think that part with the mail should be included anyway. Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)

Production and development

 * Why does it matter when they joined? ✅ Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)

Cultural references

 * I suggest this being merged with the above section - it's way too small to be on its own. Retitled as "Production and cultural references". ✅ and added intro sentence for cultural references. Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)

Reception

 * You can't just stick quotes there with no introduction. ✅. Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
 * This section also relies too much on quotes. ✅ deleted some quotes from Kevin McFarland. Koopatrev (talk) 06:45, 23 June 2012 (UTC)

Verdict

 * All issues have been addressed. Passing the article! Great work! Statυs  (talk) 18:47, 23 June 2012 (UTC)