Talk:Leslie Goonewardene/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Edwininlondon (talk · contribs) 13:40, 27 June 2020 (UTC)

I am in no way an expert but I shall check against the criteria. I may make the odd little edit directly in the article, for anything I deem not controversial. Please revert anything you think is incorrect. I will no doubt review this in multiple sessions, bit by bit. Edwininlondon (talk) 13:40, 27 June 2020 (UTC)


 * commonly known as Leslie Goonewardene --> I don't think we need this. It is understood. Compare, for example, the Featured Article Vincent van Gogh


 * was educated in Methodist, English-medium schools --> I think a re-order so that there is no awkward Methodist duplication may be better: Born into an aristocratic Panaduran family, Goonewardene was brought up Methodist, educated in English-medium schools, and speaking Sinhala as well as English.


 * he was sent for education in Britain --> when was this? Good to add because next sentence talks about Marxist teachings "of the time"


 * Goonewardene led the Lanka Sama Samaja Party ... and his escape to India --> Did he lead from Britain? Did he escape from Britain to India?


 * alongside Mahatma Gandhi, leading India's Independence from Britain in 1947. --> that is 3 times "leading in 8 lines. Perhaps rephrase one of them?


 * his first two terms in Government --> why Government with capital G? A bit further on you have "Through his government". When should it be capital?


 * and polarisation between the Sinhalese and Tamil populations because of Governmental Sinhalese nationalist policies and the Sinhala Only Act --> is this causality commonly accepted?

More later.


 * Thanks for the above suggestions! I've gone ahead and made the edits. I think some confusion on my end regarding the capitalisation of "government" resulted from how the word is capitalised after 'the', as in 'The Government'. I've ensured that this has been addressed. In regards to the polarisation between the Sinhalese and Tamil populations, I've changed the wording from 'because of' to 'furthered by'; some further reading is found on Origins of the Sri Lankan civil war from the sections "1970" onwards. SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 15:48, 27 June 2020 (UTC)

Here is more.


 * In the Infobox the nationality is Sri Lanka. But the country did not exist when he was born. Compare how it's done for Featured Article Muhammad Ali Jinnah. Also note that it should be an adjective.


 * caption "Goonewardene as a young adult with his family – Dr. Andrew Simon Goonewardene at the centre & Leslie." --> avoid the use of &. Plus I would keep the focus on Leslie: "Leslie Goonewardene as a young adult with his family, pictured at the centre with his father, Dr. Andrew Simon Goonewardene"


 * largest land owning families --> this to me suggest the family is large, instead of the land


 * The Methodists in Sri Lanka had played a prominent role, both locally and internationally, in the campaign to abolish slavery, make education more accessible, the Temperance Movement and among other things to inspire many great men including Nelson Mandela. --> Quite a few issues here. First I question the need of "local and internationally". It reads odd in combination with the beginning of the sentence. And I don't think the Mandela reference is relevant. I suspect that he was not inspired by the Sri Lankan Methodists. Lastly, the list doesn't flow. Would this be better: "The Methodists in Sri Lanka had played a prominent role in the campaigns to abolish slavery and to make education more accessible, and in the Temperance Movement."


 * Goonewardene's grandfather had funded and helped build the Panadura Methodist Church (where Rev. David De Silva's sermon went on to trigger the monuments Panaduravadya debate in 1873) and had invited the respective parties for the debate; a pivotal moment in Sinhalese history. --> First of all, it is odd to talk about the chapel building in an earlier sentence and the whole church here. These 2 things should be combined, probably at the first mention of the grandfather. Second of all, the bits in parentheses: is this referring to what was just said in the sentence before? If yes, then we don't need any of it. Am I right that the grandfather is the instigator of the debate? Then that probably should be combined with the previous sentence, where it says they agreed to the debate.


 * write a summary of the debate --> I think "write a summary of the debate in English" is better. I assume it was in English.


 * This translation --> is it really a translation? Was the summary first in another language and then translated into English?


 * came to Sri Lanka on 17 May 1880 --> It was not yet called Sri Lanka


 * Thanks for the feedback. I've made the suggested edits, as well as a couple of later changes on the use of 'Sri Lanka' or 'Ceylon'. I've also moved around and removed sections of the Panadura Debate section; let me know if it still needs any alterations. SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 11:38, 28 June 2020 (UTC)
 * Let me think about the 'Sri-Lanka (Ceylon at the time)' a bit more. It's tricky. Let me first get through the whole article and then we can discuss.

A bit more (sorry again for doing it piecemeal);
 * Instead, Goonewardene became influenced ... Harold Laski. --> Too long a sentence. And it has "instead" twice and "influenced" twice.


 * who was the niece of some of the leading leftist politicians --> that reads a bit odd, that "some". Can it be simply two?


 * Looking back at the lead, and comparing to for instance Muhammad Ali Jinnah, I believe the lead is too long. See MOS:LEADLENGTH


 * I've gone ahead and made the edits. I've also significantly slimmed down the lead, having removed a couple of paras from it. SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 18:00, 29 June 2020 (UTC)

Onwards we go ...
 * Though Philip Gunawardena, N.M. Perera, Edmund Samarakkody and Colvin R. de Silva were detained in Ceylon, Goonewardene, his wife Vivienne, as well as Colvin R. de Silva were able to escape to India, Goonewardene's properties seized. --> so does that mean that Colvin R. de Silva escaped from prison? That should probably spelled out then, because this reads a little odd


 * established networks with the local Trotskyist networks --> networks twice is not great stylisticly


 * The meetings in 1940 and 1941 were attended by jailed LSSP leaders. --> How did this work? Were the meetings held in jail? I suspect the next sentence has the clue. Perhaps better to rephrase this and combine the 2 sentences into one, if indeed they are related. Well, not sure how, but it needs to be more clear.


 * Through this, the now public BLPI, led by Goonewardene, S.C.C. Anthonipillai, Robert Gunawardena, William de Silva and V. Karalasingham, led strike waves from May 1941 through 1942 and 1944. --> Two issues: First stylisticly, there is repetition of "led". Secondly, time wise it just is odd: the now public refers to 1942, so the May 1941 can't have been instigated by the "now public".


 * While the BLPI's name suggests that it also represented Burma --> No, not as the text is now. The section header mentions Burma but nothing else. The name issue, including Ceylon, and the acronym, needs to be addressed better.


 * The Bolshevik–Leninist Party, however, found later success, launching Spark, its party publication issued in Calcutta. --> By not using the acronym BLPI this suggests that Bolshevik–Leninist Party is another party with a very similar name, operating from Calcutta. Is that really the case?


 * Did he return to Ceylon prior to its independence? This is not clear. From the section headers it looks like he did. However, all of the text in Return to Sri Lanka is about after 1948. Should these sections be switched around?


 * Goonewardene and Colvin R. de Silva were also opposed --> also? do we need this?


 * vicious campaign of victimisation --> is this an impartial viewpoint?


 * CP --> this acronym is new. What does it stand for? United Front (Sri Lanka) says that it was not the CP but CPSL (Communist Party of Sri Lanka)


 * 'Can we get to socialism this way' --> this is a question, and thus should end in a "?". Is the original a question too?
 * Thanks for catching that one! It has the question mark as per the citation here:.


 * A couple of sections would benefit from a 'Main article' statement using : Vivienne, BLPI, Quit India, Independence
 * I'm not entirely sure what you mean by a main article statement. Would this be in the lead, or above etc.?


 * while providing a service which was never previously or subsequently matched --> according to whom or based on what evidence?
 * It was described this way in a source. Looking back, it does seem quite praising. I've gone ahead and removed this.


 * In addition to the role in management of the Employees' Councils, which the workers' committees were transformed into after being properly constituted, with democratic elections supervised by the Elections Commission, commuter organisations were included in an advisory role. --> This sentence doesn't flow very well.


 * CBS --> what does this stand for?
 * Central Bus Station (changed)


 * Anil Moonesinghe formed a 2,000-strong paramilitary body --> what is Goonewardene's role in this? How is this relevant in this section?


 * He also created 'CANTAB' --> Who is he? Goonewardene I assume


 * At the time of his entry into office, most of the railways were developed during the British colonial period, with the first line (from Colombo to Kandy) having had opening on 26 April 1867 --> citation needed


 * "There is a grave danger, if those people the Tamils, feel that a grave and irreparable injustice is done to them--> this quote needs a reference. Plus that comma after Tamils, is that in the original?
 * Yes, this quote was found in: . Another quote on the matter is here:


 * His cousin, Cholomondeley Goonewardene was also a prominent LSSPer. --> does not fit well in this section, plus needs areference


 * Philanthropy & school--> no references in the whole section
 * I've found a citation through a seemingly well established Facebook page. Unfortunately not much else can be found on the matter.


 * The illustration of Leslie as a young adult fits better in the section Education and raising a family
 * Thanks for reviewing this all! I've gone ahead and made all the suggested edits. I'll have a look at the references later. SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 09:21, 6 July 2020 (UTC)

The end is in sight
We are nearly there! Just a few things:
 * Looking back I think there is too much space dedicated to the The Panadura debate, which is before Leslie's time. Ideally that section is half its current size.


 * We had the issue of when to use Sri Lanka and when to use Ceylon. Any sentence about events before 1972 should be Ceylon. I think. Before 1948 cann still be Ceylon, as British Ceylon is a bit clumsy. There is only 1 exception I think: Leslie's nationality in the infobox. I think it should say:
 * British Ceylonese (1909–1948)
 * Ceylonese (1948–1972)
 * Sri Lankan (1972–1983).
 * If we take this as our guiding rule then "the 'Father of Socialism' in Sri Lanka (Ceylon at the time)" should simply be "the 'Father of Socialism' in Ceylon". Have a quick look if we follow these rules.
 * I'd agree. I've made these edits.


 * Main article: I have done as an example of what I mean for the Vivienne Goonewardene section. I think same could be done for these sections: BLPI, Quit India, Independence
 * Agreed. I've done this now.


 * Philanthropy & school--> Facebook pages are not acceptable as source. If there is nothing from reliable sources, the entire section needs to be removed unfortunately. Only statements that can be backed up from reliable sources can stay.
 * That's a shame. I've removed the section, but will try to search for some Sinhala citations. Alternatively, can an image clearly showing the school's 'founders' in the school be used?
 * I doubt it, but what is the source of the image? It really would be great to find some Sinhala citations. I'm afraid that for the time being this whole section needs to go. And also, therefore, the last sentence of the lead. Only things that are backed up by reliable sources can stay. Edwininlondon (talk) 20:59, 10 July 2020 (UTC)
 * . I'm going to try and contact the school and see if they have any documents. Anyway, I've gone ahead and made the edits. SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 21:08, 10 July 2020 (UTC)
 * How about this: take away the last section and the last sentence of the lead. I then mark the article as passing all Good Artciel criteria. When you have found reliable sources to back up one or more statements of the old "Philantropy and school" section, you add them in? Edwininlondon (talk) 12:17, 11 July 2020 (UTC)
 * . That should work well! I've removed the sections in question. Thanks! SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 12:49, 11 July 2020 (UTC)
 * The last sentence of the lead is still problematic as none of it is now mentioned in the body. Are there any sources to back up "Through his government, he introduced inheritance tax to Sri Lanka, much to the avail of established parlimentarians"? Alternatively, the lead could end with this nice statement: "Despite being one of the largest landowners in Sri Lanka through inheritance, by his death he had pledged all of his wealth to charitable organisations."
 * . That works well. I've changed the last sentence of the lead to your suggestion. SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 09:34, 12 July 2020 (UTC)


 * All the other references are fine now.

Nearly there. Edwininlondon (talk) 16:13, 10 July 2020 (UTC)
 * . Thanks for all the help! SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 20:11, 10 July 2020 (UTC)

Conclusion
This article now satisfies the criteria for Good Article in my view: reasonably well written, factually accurate and verifiable, broad in its coverage, neutral point of view, stable, illustrated. It was a pleasure working with you on this. Edwininlondon (talk) 10:29, 12 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for all of your help! It's been great fun working on this article. SerAntoniDeMiloni (talk) 10:42, 12 July 2020 (UTC)