Talk:Leslie Grinsell/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 02:28, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

I will review this one, comments to follow. Zawed (talk) 02:28, 14 February 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * Wikilink barrow.
 * Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:51, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * Recite OBE in full followed by (OBE); the preamble may need to be reworded, something like "...was appointed to the Order of..."
 * Agreed and altered the prose.
 * Festschrift: follow this with an English translation of the term in brackets.
 * There isn't really an English language translation of this term; rather, English language sources use the German word. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:51, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * OK, fair enough. Zawed (talk) 08:21, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Early life

 * In the heading, delete the years as I think it makes it easier to read (suggestion only).
 * Link barrow, Kent, Norfolk.
 * Done! Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * Repeated use of "antiquarians" in last sentence of 1st para, rephrase to remove one of them.
 * I've altered the prose here. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * Wikilink for Nicholas Thomas?
 * It seems that the article that we have on Nicholas Thomas is referring to someone else, so I would hesitate about adding a link here. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * OK, that is fair enough. Zawed (talk) 08:24, 16 February 2016 (UTC)


 * "Circa 1937...": seems jarring langauge, especially to start a sentence. Perhaps: "Around 1937..."?
 * Changed wording. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * "...although their notes for this were destroyed during a Second World War air raid before...": suggest rewording to: "... although their notes for this were later destroyed in an air raid during the Second World War before..."
 * Changed wording. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * I suggest spinning the paragraph about Egypt into its own section, perhaps with a Second World War heading or Egypt heaing. The Early life section is looking quite long. Also, there is a typo here: "...visiting al of the..."
 * Personally I'm not convinced. There just isn't enough information to expand the Egypt information into its own section. It's only a short paragraph at present and the information doesn't really seem available with which to expand it. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * I feel this would help break up the long early life section but it isn't something I'm going to insist on. Zawed (talk) 08:24, 16 February 2016 (UTC)

Life as a professional archaeologist

 * In the heading, delete the years (suggestion only). And shouldn't headings be title case?
 * I've capitalised the necessary wording although would personally prefer to leave the dates in; we have similar date in other GA and FA rated archaeology biographies. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * Oh OK, I wasn't aware of that. Zawed (talk) 08:30, 16 February 2016 (UTC)


 * "...as an assistance at Victoria County History in order..."; typo (assistant) and missing word (project).
 * Corrected. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * "...represents the high point in his combined..." for clarity as to who we are referring, add in [Grinsell] after "his".
 * Good idea. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * "Based on his experience during this period, in 1958 he published The Archaeology of Wessex." This sentence could be rephrased as the following sentence chronologically jumps back to 1952. I suggest: He later published the book The Archaeology of Wessex, which was based on his experience during this period.
 * Another good idea. Changed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * Recite OBE in full as per comment in lead.
 * Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:13, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * Something went wrong there, so I have fixed it. Zawed (talk) 08:30, 16 February 2016 (UTC)


 * Festschrift: not italicised (it is in the lead) and follow this with an English translation of the term in brackets. And who/what issued it?
 * I've italicised the word, although there is no English language translation of the term. Ashbee (who is being used as a source) doesn't give the publisher but I'll add the publisher and editors name regardless. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:13, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Wiltshire.
 * Done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:40, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Legacy

 * Wikilink chalk geology.
 * We have no article on chalk geology itself but I've added a link to chalk. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:02, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * Paul Ashbee is linked here but not on first mention in previous section.
 * Correcting. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:02, 15 February 2016 (UTC)


 * Dupelink: Berkshire.
 * Removed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:02, 15 February 2016 (UTC)

Images

 * Captions are appropriate as are the image tags.

Review summary
With the issues noted above corrected, I believe that this article will meet the GA critera; it is well written with neutral tone, fully cited, organised and laidout appropriately with compliant images. Overall nice work, and an interesting subject. I enjoyed reviewing the article. Will check back in a few days. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 03:09, 14 February 2016 (UTC)
 * Many thanks for giving this a read through and offering the above points, Zawed! Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:21, 15 February 2016 (UTC)
 * Looks good, passing as GA. Great work! Zawed (talk) 08:31, 16 February 2016 (UTC)