Talk:Let's Kill Hitler/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 21:09, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Will get to this one soon (can't review the other one since I haven't seen it yet!)  Ruby  2010/  2013  21:09, 9 August 2012 (UTC)

Comments

 * There is one deadlink
 * Fixed. That website just got a redesign, which means there are going to be a lot of new dead links throughout the project... Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Lead
 * "In the episode, alien time traveller the Doctor (Matt Smith) and his companions Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) and Rory Williams (Arthur Darvill), Amy's husband, ..." - a bit wordy, maybe change to "...and his companions Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) and her husband Rory Williams (Arthur Darvill), crash land..."
 * Done. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Hitler -> Adolf Hitler
 * Done. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Link for Teselecta?
 * Done. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * unexpectedlyregenerates - space needed
 * Fixed. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * "... the Teselecta pursue her instead, while she has poisoned the Doctor and his death looms." - there are some tense issues here that could be fixed
 * Changed it to "the Teselecta pursue her instead, whilst the Doctor faces death from her poisoned lipstick". Wasn't sure if I should throw the lipstick in, but I'm not sure how else to say it. Open to changes. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * You mention Moffat without explaining that he wrote the episode. The director could also use a mention in the lead
 * Yeah, I just thought that first paragraph in the lead seemed about the right length... Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * while the The Temple of Peace in Cardiff - typo
 * Fixed. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Plot
 * "...joining the Luna University to become an archaeologist as to find the Doctor..." - as to -> and?
 * Changed it to "to", since she is becoming an archaeologist so she can find him. Glimmer721  talk


 * ...the young Amelia ("The Eleventh Hour" - the parentheses aren't closed )
 * Fixed. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

More to come!  Ruby  2010/  2013  01:46, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Production
 * "...Writer Steven Moffat wanted show Hitler..." - to show?
 * Yeah... Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * "Smith, Gillan, and Darvill had previous filmed..." -> previously?
 * Fixed. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * Broadcast and reception
 * "The episode also came in a number one..." -> at number one?
 * Fixed. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)


 * "The episode received positive reviews from critics" - it seems like it received "mostly" positive reviews, as you include some negative ones towards the end
 * Yeah, those were added later. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)

Mostly minor prose issues, so I'll place the review on hold for seven days. Nice work!  Ruby  2010/  2013  02:25, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
 * I believe I am done! Thanks for reviewing. Glimmer721  talk  15:56, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
 * Looks great. I recall this being an interesting episode, though I think I preferred A Good Man Goes to War a little more (simply because of the River revelation). Passing for GA. Keep up the great DW work!  Ruby  2010/  2013  04:05, 11 August 2012 (UTC)