Talk:Levi Coffin/GA1

GA Review
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Hey everyone. I'll be reviewing this page for possible GA status. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 21:35, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Nikkimaria (talk) 00:20, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Writing and formatting
There are a number of grammatical issues throughout the article
 * Dates of birth and death should not be linked per WP:MOS
 * Still linked - please delink them or present your reasoning for not doing so.


 * His life story should be in chronological order - it skips from 1838 to 1842 back to 1830s, and then from after the war to 1864.
 * How could he have purchased a tract of land in Indiana in 1825 if he didn't go there until 1826? Please clarify. Also, the section on "Death and legacy" still has the timeline issue - the war ended in 1865, but you go from the end of the war to 1864 - should be chronological order unless you have good reason to do otherwise.


 * The source does not give the date the land was purchased, but indicates he moved onto a farm soon after arriving in Indiana, and before opening a general store in 1827. i have changed wording a bit to indicate it was soon after he arrived in Indiana.
 * "Coffin grew up working on his fathers farm" - should be "father's"
 * " According his own account" - "according to"
 * Need consistency with ages - same paragraph has "age seven" and "age 15". Pick a format and stick to it.
 * Provide date for Fugitive Slave Act, as another was passed in 1850
 * "northwest territories" should be capitalized
 * "He carried back with him reports of Indiana and how prosperous the country was" - "Indiana and its prosperity" for grammatical consistency
 * "a tract of land he purchased" - "he had purchased" or "he purchased in date"
 * "he credited his business success with..." - "with" should be "to"
 * "seeing his success at avoiding problems they soon" - "upon seeing..." or comma between problems and they
 * "His neighbors who were opposed to his activity boycotted his store" -> "...neighbours, who were opposed to his activity, boycotted..." or "the neighbours who opposed..."
 * "Coffin's business began to grow. His prosperity continued to grow" is repetitive and redundant
 * "maids quarters" should be either "maid's quarters" or "maids' quarters"
 * "leaders of the Quaker Religious Society of Friends" - Quaker is a synonym for a member of this society, so having both terms is redundant
 * "they disowned him and expelled Coffin" -> "disowned Coffin and expelled him"
 * "those sympathetic to the cause, but were unwilling" -> "those who were sympathetic"
 * "After traveling..." - do you mean "through his travels"?
 * "He rented his Newport business" -> "rented out"
 * "He was met with" -> "He met with"
 * "Cincinnati were it was" -> "where it was"
 * "Elm and Sixth street" -> "Elm and Sixth Streets"
 * "and set up a new safe house in the city and helped organize a larger network in the area" -> ", setting up...and helping to"
 * Use a comma in front of "setting" to avoid the unnecessary doubled "and"


 * "an underground railroad stop" - capitalize Underground Railroad
 * "provided her food" -> "provided her with food"
 * Still to be addressed


 * "took many into his home" -> should be "their" to agree with "they" at the beginning of the sentence
 * "As union soldiers moved into the south" - capitalize Union and South
 * Still to be addressed


 * "worked with Coffin on the underground railroad" - capitalize Underground Railroad
 * "and restored to its original condition and opened to the public for viewing" - remove the part about the public here, as it is duplicated in the following sentence.
 * Still to be addressed


 * "allegedly from a slavecatcher" -> "by a slavecatcher"
 * Both "See also"s were linked to earlier in the article. Per WP:MOS, "Links already included in the body of the text are generally not repeated"
 * "References" is generally used to refer to the complete citation as opposed to the footnotes, which in this referencing style are called "Notes" or "Footnotes"
 * Still to be addressed.


 * In regards to your comment about "Quaker Society of Friends". Quaker is synonmous with the society, but I suspect msot readers will not make that connection unless it is pointed out to them. I think it is useful to keep the term since Quaker is also a denomonym.
 * I beleive I have addressed the other prose concerns in the article. &mdash;Charles Edward (Talk 17:30, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Not quite...see comments above. Nikkimaria (talk) 18:42, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I have addressed the ones I missed, sorry about that. Thanks for your thourough review. :) &mdash;Charles Edward (Talk 19:01, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Accurate and verifiable

 * Date of birth is different in the infobox than it is in the text
 * Citations needed for the following:
 * "Grand Central Station of the Underground Railroad"
 * Still to be addressed.
 * I have added the quote into the body of the article and provided a reference there.&mdash;Charles Edward (Talk 18:59, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * The family was greatly influenced by the teachings of John Woolman
 * Coffin grew up working on his fathers farm and received little, if any, formal education
 * Any statement beginning "According his own account"
 * By the early 1820s, Quakers in North Carolina were being persecuted
 * In 1821, Coffin and his cousin started a Sunday School
 * Thousands of Quakers began to leave the state
 * Although many had previously been afraid to take part, seeing his success at avoiding problems they soon joined him
 * As time progressed the number of escaping slaves increased. Coffin estimated that he helped one hundred escape annually on average. Coffin's home became the convergence point of three major escape routes
 * They tried to dissuade him
 * His business had a period of poor performance
 * Pressure was brought to bear on the Quaker communities
 * Still to be addressed
 * his activity increased and he wanted to do more
 * Catherine organized a sewing society
 * At first he declined
 * He and his wife were happy with their country life
 * With the help of other businessmen, a depot was opened in Cincinnati
 * The Free Produce Association had raised $3,000
 * Still to be addressed
 * He located a cotton plantation in Mississippi
 * finally came to reside on Wehrman Street
 * he traveled to Great Britain in 1864
 * Coffin did not enjoy being in the public eye and considered his task of begging for money to be demeaning
 * He was concerned about giving money freely
 * considered by historians to be one of the best firsthand accounts of the activities of the organization
 * The Daily Gazette recorded...


 * The Yannessa ref lists a place of publication, while none of the others do.


 * For the most part these citations are the same as the next listed one, I have duplictated these to each of the statements you have listed. &mdash;Charles Edward (Talk 17:54, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * A couple are still missing citations. Please address. Nikkimaria (talk) 18:48, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Broad
No issues noted

Neutral

 * Take a look at WP:WTA. Words like "allegedly" and "claiming" should not be used outside of quotes without qualification.


 * The one instance regarding the slave catcher allegedly calling Coffin the President, allegedly was the word used by the source. I took it to mean that it is possibly not known for sure what the origin of the title was. I have reworded it now. In the instance of "claiming" he helped 3000 escape, while historians estimate over 2,000, is that a good enough clarification? They just think he overstimated. &mdash;Charles Edward (Talk 17:58, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Stable
No issues noted

Images
No issues noted.