Talk:Lighter (Nathan Dawe song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:57, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

Haven't reviewed one of yours for a while; will take this on! --K. Peake 09:57, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove rap house from the infobox per WP:STICKTOSOURCE


 * "a guest appearance from" → "a guest appearance by"


 * Mention that it was released as a standalone single


 * "It is a house track. The song's lyrics are" → "A house track, its lyrics are"


 * Mention that it was dubbed as mentioned by Promonews


 * "and it also reached the" → "and also reached the"


 * "stars Nathan Dawe and KSI" → "stars Dawe and KSI"


 * "starting out completely" → "though they start out completely"


 * "both sports, but improving as" → "both sports but improve as"


 * Mention the Top of the Pops performance as that special is notable for the lead

Writing and production

 * "wrote and recorded the song" → "wrote and recorded "Lighter""


 * The other collaborators mentioned in this sentence are not referenced by the source


 * "at the time."" → "at the time"."


 * "She had a" → Dawe recalled: "She had a"


 * "They sent the song to" → "She sent the song to"


 * Remove introduction to who Dawe is since we have already done this in the lead


 * "wished him luck" → "wished [him] luck" because the quote does not say that


 * Target single to Single (music)


 * Remove the commas around "Flowers" and add the release year in brackets


 * "which featured British rapper" → "which features British rapper"


 * Remove introduction to who KSI is per my earlier comment, but keep the target


 * "He explained, "It took me" → "He explained that "it took [him]"


 * "write the verse."" → "write the verse"." per MOS:QUOTE


 * Remove target on fan base


 * "feel-good vibe"." → "feel-good vibe.""

Music and lyrics

 * Remove target on rap since the term does not always refer to hip hop


 * Further information can be added to this section from 5, 6 and 16


 * The second sentence is unsourced

Release and promotion

 * Remove target on single


 * "and the song was" → "and "Lighter" was"


 * No source is added for the digital download and streaming release
 * ❌ use a ref name from the release history table --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Why are the Atlantic and Warner labels listed differently in the body than in the infobox and lead?


 * Target live streamed to Livestreaming


 * Move the other live performances to being after this one in the same para


 * Target acoustic to Acoustic music


 * Remove "on 28 August" since we can tell that's the release date
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "This version credits" → "The version credits"


 * Remove "instead of his verse..." because the brand new part is too similar to that


 * "for the acoustic version of the song" → "for the acoustic version"


 * "which features new verses" → "that features new verses"


 * "on 21 September 2020. A remix by" → "on 21 September, while one by"
 * you missed the removal of the year --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * you missed the removal of the year --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Retitle to Reception, as this will be more than reviews


 * Mention that it was dubbed as such by the staff of Promonews


 * Sure you can't add any more reviews; this is awfully short right now?


 * Remove wikilink on piano


 * Add the accolade as a separate para here to split from reviews
 * you forgot to place in a separate para --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * you forgot to place in a separate para --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)

Music video

 * "The music video was" → "The video was"


 * "The group challenge each other to" → "KSI challenges his fellow group members to"


 * Remove wikilink on basketball


 * Remove target on football
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "a bloopers video, released" → "a bloopers video being released"


 * "on 14 August 2020." → "one week later."
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * Italicise Promonews

Commercial performance

 * "both artists' first song" → "both Dawe and KSI's first song"


 * "The song spent a total" → "It lasted for a total"


 * Remove the 26 weeks part since that is not sourced
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ❌ --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "40th-highest-selling and the 32nd-most-downloaded" → "40th highest-selling and 32nd most-downloaded"


 * Only [29] is needed at the end of the sentence


 * "The song also debuted" → "The song further debuted"

Live performances

 * Since the number of performances here is only two, move to release and promotion like what I said earlier

Accolades

 * Write one in prose since this is only one award; hence the move to reception because a section is not needed

Credits and personnel

 * Change KSI's vocals to featured artist, plus swap with songwriter in the order and he should be after Tre Jean-Marie
 * Ella Henderson should be one below KSI and swap vocals with songwriter in the order
 * you should follow songwriter with vocals in the personnel's respective credits --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * you should follow songwriter with vocals in the personnel's respective credits --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)

Weekly charts

 * Wikilink Billboard Global Excl. U.S.
 * ❌ see MOS:LINK2SECT --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ❌ see MOS:LINK2SECT --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)

Year-end charts

 * Good

Certifications

 * Good

Release history

 * Again, which version of the labels listed is correct?

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; your writing skills are improving but I have noticed throughout these reviews that you do not add enough info to comp. --K. Peake 17:46, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
 * You have still not removed the introductions to who KSI and Dawe are in the opening section, nor have you added "Dawe recalled" in the area I suggested or removed the verse-chorus form unsourced sentence. These are changes I have already noticed you've missed; fix these and check through to make sure you haven't forgotten even more. --K. Peake 07:52, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I had a look through and planked the respective partly and not done templates on anywhere changes are still required. --K. Peake 14:51, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for all of the fixes you have made, I advise to look through all of the suggested changes more than once in the future to check you have definitely done them. ✅, but I did copy edit slightly where some issues remain! --K. Peake 20:44, 28 January 2021 (UTC)