Talk:Lights (BTS song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 06:27, 14 July 2020 (UTC)

Coming later today --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:27, 14 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, Good to work with you again, thank you for taking up this review! I shall address the comments now. -- Ashley yoursmile!  17:55, 14 July 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Why is there no referencing of the B-side in the infobox?


 * Wikilink Universal Music Japan to itself per MOS:LINK2SECT


 * "It was released as a double" → "The song was released as a double"


 * "It marked the band's first original" → "This marked the band's first original"


 * "since "Crystal Snow" (2017)." → "since 2017's "Crystal Snow"." to avoid repetitive wording with the body


 * ""Lights" was written by Sunny Boy, Yohei and" → "The song was written by Sunny Boy, Yohei, and"


 * "also handling production." → "solely handling production."


 * "featuring a heavy" → "featuring a" since this is too much info for the lead


 * "its lyrics describe BTS" → "the lyrics describe BTS"


 * "success in Japan. It debuted" → "success in Japan, debuting"


 * "The single also peaked at number one on" → "The song also peaked at the summit of"


 * "single of 2019 in Japan. The single" → "single of 2019 in Japan and"


 * Following targets seem like overlinking; only use one


 * "only one month after its release," → "only a month after release,"


 * "It was later awarded as one" → "The song was later awarded as one"
 * ❌ The song was not awarded as one of the best singles but the single album was, as mentioned in the prose.
 * Well, replace "It" with "The single album" then --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:40, 14 July 2020 (UTC)


 * "The video was met with a positive reception..." remove this sentence since there are not enough reviews to back it up


 * "It was the band's first Japanese single" → "The song was BTS' first Japanese single"


 * "BTS performed the song live" → "The band performed "Lights" live"

Background and release

 * Retitle to Background and composition; I will provide further instructions relevant to this


 * Remove wikilink on extended play


 * "single, "Lights" would be" → "single "Lights" would be"


 * Target Korean-language to Korean language


 * "marked the band's first original" → "marked BTS' first original"


 * "receive a music video after" → "receive a music video, after" with the appropriate wikilink


 * "It was mixed by D.O.I," → "The song was mixed by D.O.I,"


 * Start a new para after this sentence


 * "It is an" → ""Lights" is an"


 * Wikilink should be on dance music instead


 * "at a tempo of 99 beats per minutes," → "with a tempo of 99 beats per minute,"


 * The word light should not be in speech marks


 * The following para should be the beginning of the following section instead


 * "was made available as a digital single" → "was made available for digital download and streaming as a single" with the target


 * Wikilink Universal Music Japan to itself


 * Remove wikilink on the album and the release year brackets


 * "It was released as a" → "The song was released as a"


 * "by the same record label," → "through the aforementioned record label,"


 * "different limited editions:" → "different limited editions;"


 * "and "Boy with Luv" as double A-side and" → "and "Boy with Luv" as a double A-side, and"


 * "with a DVD containing" → "with a DVD that contains"


 * "the music video of" → "the music video for"


 * "while the final edition C contains" → "while C contains" since edition is stated earlier in this sentence

Reception

 * Retitle to Release and reception, with the para that I asked you to move from the first section as the opening one here

Critical response and awards

 * Remove this sub-section; instead have it as the second para of the section


 * "received generally favourable reviews" → "was met with generally favourable reviews"


 * "complimented the band's" → "complimented BTS'"


 * "also shared a similar view," → "shared a similar view,"


 * Wikilink single album to itself


 * Are you sure the awards should be in speech marks?


 * "received the "Song of the Year by Download (Asia)" award" → "was awarded "Song of the Year by Download (Asia)"" whether or not speech marks are kept


 * Remove the table as that is only two awards from one ceremony

Commercial performance

 * This can be its own section, directly below the Release and reception one


 * "selling over 467,000 copies." → "selling 467,107 copies." since it is better to report exact stats when they are known


 * "by the band's previous" → "by their previous"


 * Spacing should be next to the slash in the single album title for consistency


 * "454,829 copies" claim does not appear to be backed up
 * This is still not backed up by any of the citations. --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:31, 17 July 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ I added a ref. to this. -- Ashley yoursmile!  07:36, 17 July 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ I added a ref. to this. -- Ashley yoursmile!  07:36, 17 July 2020 (UTC)


 * "crossed one million copies" → "crossed 1,000,000 copies"


 * The claim that this was the first time a foreign artist achieved a million shipments is false, since it is the first time Dion 24 years ago; reword accordingly
 * ✅ changed "foreign" to "Korean"


 * "maintained its number one spot" → "remained at number one on"


 * Are you sure they are "copies" or "physical copies"? Don't change if the latter is indeed correct...
 * ✅ Yes, kept it as it is


 * Remove target on Oricon Weekly Singles Chart


 * "on the chart issue dated" → "for the chart issue dated"


 * [19] should solely be at the end of the sentence before [20][21]


 * "At year end," → "For the year end chart,"


 * "the Japan Hot 100- a chart operated by Billboard magazine- on" → "the Billboard Japan Hot 100 for the chart issue date of"


 * Mention how many places it rose by maybe?
 * ✅ mentioned that


 * "of July 22," → "of July 22, 2019."


 * "before dropping to number 16..." remove this and [26] since it is violating WP:CHARTS


 * "the Recording Industry Association of Japan (RIAJ) denoting shipments of one million copies," → "the Recording Industry Association of Japan (RIAJ), denoting shipments of 1,000,000 copies,"
 * ✅ is this because of MOS:NUM?
 * Yes, well spotted of you. --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:31, 17 July 2020 (UTC)


 * ""A Thousand Winds". It was the band's first million certification" → ""A Thousand Winds"; it was the first time the band attained the certification"


 * Keep the target the same but rename the chart to US World Digital Songs


 * Wikilink should be on the record chart part of the words instead, but don't change the actual prose


 * "in Scotland at number 73," → "in Scotland at number 73 on the Scottish Singles Chart,"


 * Target New Zealand Top 40 to Official New Zealand Music Chart

Music video and promotion

 * Remove wikilink on music video


 * "released on the same platform" → "released via the same platform"


 * "of a film called" → "of a film titled"


 * "In following scene," → "In the following scene," though this sentence does not appear to be properly backed up
 * ✅ provided source


 * "In some of these scenes," → "In some of the scenes,"


 * "the movie featuring themselves on screen." → "the film, which features themselves, on screen."


 * "of time and space"," → "of time and space,""


 * "as they interact" → "while they interact"


 * Does not appear to be backed up that Suga was rapping
 * ✅ added source


 * "while they float around" → "while the particles float around"


 * "In her review for Celebmix, Ellie Nicholas called the video" → "In her review for CelebMix, Ellie Nicholas called the music video"


 * "that "matches the" → "that it "matches the"


 * "similar sentiments and labelled the clip" → "similar sentiments, labeling the clip"


 * The source does not say when in November 2019 the live performance was
 * ✅ added supporting source


 * "as a part of their fifth Japanese fan-meeting" → "as part of their fifth Japanese fan-meeting"


 * The source does not say that there was a performance on December 14 as well as 15
 * ✅ added supporting source

Track listings and formats

 * Retitle to Track listings


 * Cite [9] in place of [4]


 * Why is "hitman" bang not capitalised on the second mention?


 * "Boys with Luv" and "Idol" should not be targeted after their respective first times in this section


 * Where is Limited Edition C?
 * ✅ Added

Credits and personnel

 * Good

Weekly charts

 * Japan (Hot 100) → Japan Hot 100 (Billboard)


 * Target World Digital Songs to World Digital Song Sales

Year-end charts

 * Japan (Hot 100) → Japan Hot 100 (Billboard)

Certifications

 * Good

Release history

 * Add the Version col, citing the first two as Original version and I will explain further below
 * ✅ I have named the col as Edition, cited the first one as Regular instead of Original, since the source mentions Regular


 * Refs should be centered


 * Add streaming next to digital download with the target


 * Wikilink Universal Music Group to itself


 * The first CD + DVD release should be named as Limited Edition A under version, while add Limited Edition B appropriately to the table and C if you can

Final comments and verdict

 * but sorry about the delayed response. --Kyle Peake (talk) 14:48, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, I have left a few comments above and have addressed the rest per your suggestion. Let me know if anything else needs to be added / fixed. Thank you so much for reviewing this. -- Ashley yoursmile!  17:48, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I did some copyediting but some issues still need fixing, which instructions will be provided for above. Also, only the refs should be centered in the release history table, plus are you sure hlist can't be replaced with bullet points under Track listings? --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:31, 17 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I have centered the references. Not sure if comma could act as a substitute for hlist? I'm a bit wary of bullet points here. -- Ashley yoursmile!  07:40, 17 July 2020 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * but sorry about the delayed response. --Kyle Peake (talk) 14:48, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake, I have left a few comments above and have addressed the rest per your suggestion. Let me know if anything else needs to be added / fixed. Thank you so much for reviewing this. -- Ashley yoursmile!  17:48, 15 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I did some copyediting but some issues still need fixing, which instructions will be provided for above. Also, only the refs should be centered in the release history table, plus are you sure hlist can't be replaced with bullet points under Track listings? --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:31, 17 July 2020 (UTC)
 * I have centered the references. Not sure if comma could act as a substitute for hlist? I'm a bit wary of bullet points here. -- Ashley yoursmile!  07:40, 17 July 2020 (UTC)
 * No it is fine, you can keep as not bullet point since that isn't an infobox; I have fixed the titles and listed instructions in my revision for future reference. ✅ now, congrats on the quick and professional response! --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:12, 17 July 2020 (UTC)