Talk:Lincoln, Nebraska/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Yash! (talk · contribs) 10:15, 15 July 2016 (UTC)

I will be doing this. Regards,  Ya  sh  !   10:15, 15 July 2016 (UTC)
 * Thank you for taking this review. Gmcbjames (talk) 17:13, 15 July 2016 (UTC)
 * Yash! - Again, thank you ^^ !!! No matter what the outcome, we'll be looking forward to what you have to find ;D ^_^ !!!~  Hanyou23 (talk) 22:56, 15 July 2016 (UTC)


 * My apologies for this delay. I will begin this review within 24 hours. Best,  Ya  sh  !   22:46, 7 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Yash! - No problem and thank you again in advance :) ... really looking forward to the results ^^ !!! Hanyou23 (talk) 07:43, 14 August 2016 (UTC)
 * , this was very unprofessional of me and I am really sorry. I owe you an explanation. Due to a family emergency, I had to travel to the US right after I created this review page and I was really short of time there. When I returned, I caught a bad infection and I was hospitalised for a while. I feel very bad for keep you waiting for so long. Now back to the review. The reason why I took up this article was that I noticed the hard work you and others had put into this article over the last few years. However, the article is far from being a GA and for a few reasons may even qualify for a quick fail. Watching your work on this reminded me of the time when I worked on the article of my hometown for GA. After all the hard work you have done, I did not wanted to see someone fail this since it would require a lot of work before it can pass the nomination; and some might quickly fail it. I am back now, with no emergencies or health issues so I start now.  Ya  sh  !   10:47, 16 August 2016 (UTC)


 * Yash!, I am so glad you are back after your ordeal. Both Hanyou23 and I have been working on this for a long time since the first GA review with the help of other editors, so there is no rush on our parts.  Thank you for taking your time to help bring this to a GA, rather than a quick fail. We are more than willing to address any of your concerns, and look forward to work with you on this process.  Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 19:15, 16 August 2016 (UTC)

Lead
Once the lead is re-written and the changes suggested are made, I will again review it/edit it. Meanwhile, I will continue with the rest of the article. Regards,  Ya  sh  !   11:12, 16 August 2016 (UTC)
 * The lead needs to be completely re-written. As per WP:LEAD, the lead should summarise almost all the topics of the article. Right now, it constitutes of a few facts with an unpleasant flow. Take cues from Kerala - the lead is very well written and covers almost every aspect of the article with a good flow. I suggest that you re-write it and try to cover the major topics from the article briefly in three (or four if needed) paragraphs. I will list a few other suggestions below.
 * "Lincoln is the capital of the State of Nebraska and the second most populous city in Nebraska." -> "Lincoln is the capital and the second most populous city of the state of Nebraska."✅
 * Try to avoid excessive usage of the word "Lincoln" - try using "it", "the city", "the region" (when referencing to the history or geography if you want to) at times.✅
 * Remove references from the lead.✅ And make sure that all the facts that you state in the lead are covered in the article.✅ Try making the lead more like a generalised description of various facts instead of stating singular facts.
 * Also, make sure that single sentences only have the relevant information. For example, the last sentence talks about "Education", then "Economy", then about the state capitol building. If you talk about "Education", mention about the university and something about the literacy rate or some relevant information.✅ Similarly, when you talk about the unemployment rate of 3.1%, mention how it fairs against the national rate or how good it is compared to other cities in the country. I hope you get the idea - that is how you can expand the lead and include all the major topics about the article.✅
 * By rule, all the information in the lead should be covered in the article. ✅ Forgive me if I missed it but I did not see a mention of the capitol building in the prose.✅
 * You can take the help of my cheat sheet and look at these examples for inspiration: Kerala, Boston, New York City (may contain too much material in the lead but they use different ways to include various kinds of information in the lead - best article to look up to if you want to expand the lead of any city or state), and Hyderabad.


 * Yash!, thank you for a great critic of the lead. Hanyou23 and I will work collaboratively on rewriting the lead as suggested in the next couple of days.  Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 19:09, 16 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Yash!, I have made significant edits and rewrote the lede to summarize the article with your suggestions and examples in mind. Do have a look. Do note the history section is a summary of the article History of Lincoln, Nebraska.  This grew to such a portion, a separate article was written.  The capitol summarized in the lede is mentioned in the section State Capital.  Hanyou23 may add to/edit the lede as well.  Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 07:00, 17 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Great work - you did very well! I referred to the fact that it was the second tallest building - a fact that was not included in the prose before. Best,   Ya  sh  !   10:53, 17 August 2016 (UTC)
 * I'm sorry - I'm still trying to catch up :*0 ~..... Hanyou23 (talk) 06:26, 18 August 2016 (UTC)

Founding

 * Reference(s) will be needed for the last paragraph (lack of references is a major concern in the article).✅

State Capital

 * Reference for the first paragraph.✅
 * Consider merging the first two paragraphs as the first is too short.✅
 * Do mention the year in which the Removal Act was passed.✅
 * "To raise money for the construction of a capital city....is the oldest remaining building in the original plat of Lincoln." - will need citation.✅

Growth and expansion

 * Instead of having "The first town annexed was Bethany Heights in 1922. Bethany Heights was incorporated in 1890", try to merge those sentences. For example, "Bethany Heights, incorporated in 1890, was the first town to be annexed in 1922."✅
 * Same as above with College View.✅
 * "throughout the state of Nebraska" -> "throughout Nebraska" or "throughout the state".✅
 * A reference for "In 1931, U.S. 38 was renumbered as a U.S. 6/U.S. 38 overlap and in 1933, the U.S. 38 route designation was dropped."✅
 * "Charles Lindbergh learned to fly at the Lincoln Flying School April 1, 1922" - "April 1, 1922" is not placed properly and the usage is unclear. He couldn't have learned flying in a day in my understanding.✅
 * "can still be seen today in-between" -> "can still be seen in-between".✅
 * Will need sources for: " The flying school closed in 1947.✅ Some remnants of the old airport can still be seen today in-between N. 56th and N. 70th Streets, north of Fletcher Avenue; mangled within a slowly developing industrial zone."✅
 * Start a new paragraph from "The city's small municipal airfield in 1930 was dedicated to...."✅
 * "Around the turn of the 21st century" - use the year (better to be more formal and precise).✅
 * "During the 1960s, the two main airlines serving the Lincoln Airport were United Airlines and the original Frontier Airlines." - this fact can be moved up before mentioning the change in name so that it stays in a chronological order.✅ Also, will need a source.
 * "In 1966, Lincoln annexed...." - merge this with the paragraph above.✅
 * "As train, automobile, and air travel increased, business flourished, and the city prospered. The population of Lincoln increased 38.2% from 1920 to a population of 75,933 in 1930" - this fact should be moved up, perhaps after the "Businesses were built and facilities...." sentence.✅

Revitalization and growth

 * "With the exodus of retail and service businesses, the downtown core began to decline and deteriorate." - need a reference.✅
 * "Near South areas" - I am not sure if the N should be in caps or not.✅
 * "Beautification included new street lighting." - the sentence feels too short. Perhaps merge it with the "Successes included...." sentence.✅
 * It would be better if numerical figures of the Karen, Sudan, and Yazidi population were included.
 * "growth never seen before" - too informal. Rather use something like "saw significant rise in population". Also, do mention the figure of the rise ✅
 * "North 27th Street and Cornhusker Highway....competition of Gateway Mall." - will need a source.✅
 * Source for "Since 2012, Starwood Capital Group has made incremental expansions and renovations."✅

On a side note, 1 Gigabit per second is amazing. In my hometown, 8 Mbps is the maximum speed one can achieve through WiFi in most of the parts (imagine the patience one needs to have!).  Ya  sh  !   10:53, 17 August 2016 (UTC)


 * User:Yash!, we may differ on opinion regarding cites. I ascribe to not overcite body of thought, as discussed in this essay. I will try to address all of your concerns. Thank you for such a in-depth review thus far. Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 18:49, 17 August 2016 (UTC)
 * User:Yash! Whew, that was a marathon. I think I have addressed most of your concerns above and I have asked Hanyou23 to look into a couple of items of which he is more familiar with.  Again, thank you for all of your hard work.  Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 23:35, 17 August 2016 (UTC)


 * User:Hanyou23, I have made edits as suggested by Yash! and have noted items which maybe you can look into above. Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 23:29, 17 August 2016 (UTC)


 * According to a local company, I will be having 1G up/down fiber-direct here by the end of the year ;D ... not to rub it in or anything ;p heh. I've tried to fix the few things that I could and also found sources for those nicknames... Gmcbjames, if you would, please have a look at those to make sure they're ok ;o .  It's past 2am here now, so I've got to hang it up, unfortunately :/ .  Thank so much Gmcbjames for your hard work over the past few days and Yash! for the great suggestions in helping move this along, too ^^ !!!  So sorry I haven't been able to help out more in recent days, because of various things :*0 ~.....  :)  Hanyou23 (talk) 07:11, 18 August 2016 (UTC)


 * Hanyou23, thank you, your edits look fine to me. Whenever Yash! is ready, we can continue with the review. We can continue to make improvements during the review process, and Yash! do feel free to make edits -  which is allowed in the GA review process.  On a side note, I noticed sources stating 50 Syrian refugees have been resettled in Nebraska, however as to where is not being released at this time. Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 18:07, 18 August 2016 (UTC)


 * ,, it is not overciting when a source is placed next to an uncited statement. I understand your point but if the citation following the sentences do not contain the stated fact, a citation should be added. This is something that has never happened during my reviews and I apologies one more time. I feel terrible for not being able to get to this sooner. I promise to wrap this up in the next couple of days. I am really sorry again, this delay is just terrible from my side.  Ya  sh  !   20:01, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Yash!, a delay or break is fine with me, and I am sure fine with Hanyou23 as he is quite busy in real life. I will tick off what I can, however Hanyou23 may be able to address the sections you have commented on below better than I.  Thank you for your patience with us and thank you for your meticulous review, of which, this article can advance.  Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 17:47, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Geography

 * Not necessary to state the latitudes since that is already covered on the upper right corner and the infobox.✅

Metropolitan area

 * You can either remove the "main article" template or unlink "Lincoln metropolitan area" since that causes overlink. Whichever you like better.✅
 * A source will be required for the rest of the paragraph.✅

Neighborhoods

 * "like in other cities" - this does not offer any new content so I would suggest to remove it.✅
 * Try to avoid repeating "annexed in xxxx", perhaps by just mentioning "in xxxx".✅

Climate

 * Merging the first two paragraphs would be better since the second can be a continuation of the first, and is too small to be an individual paragraph.✅

Environment

 * I doubt if "Beatrice" or "Lincoln-Beatrice" has been mentioned before so it should be linked to a relevant page.✅
 * Not a necessity but if this section could be expanded from just a one line sub-section, it would be better. I would not recommend merging it since keeping a separate sub-section, pave way for future expansions. Right now if a couple of more sentences, perhaps about the measurements of pollution, how those figures far against others in the country can be added. Not an immediate necessity though; just shared a thought.✅
 * It can certainly! There are no fixed rules so you can do what feels best to you.  Ya  sh  !   12:34, 4 September 2016 (UTC)

Demographics

 * Unlink the common term "refugees".✅
 * Replace "More recently" with a precise figure.✅

2010 census

 * Unlink "marriage".✅
 * Instead of "had a female householder with no husband present", "had only a female householder" would sound better. Same can be said with the next fact about male householder.

Economy

 * To be consistent, either use "University of Nebraska–Lincoln" or "University of Nebraska" throughout the article. In history, arts and culture, "University of Nebraska" is used. If it was founded as the University of Nebraska then renamed, or something like that, try to make a brief mention of that to avoid some confusion. If it was not renamed, better to use just one name throughout the article. ✅
 * Use the full-form of MSA the first time you mention it in the prose after using it in the lead. ✅
 * A few references could be dropped from the last paragraph which uses 10 for one fact at the moment.✅
 * Use the template for multiple images (example Kerala).  ✅

Military

 * A ref for "currently, the Nebraska Air National Guard, along with the Nebraska Army National Guard, have joint-use facilities with the Lincoln Airport."✅

Arts and culture

 * "by some" is a bit too vague. Perhaps it can be dropped or replaced since already a vague term, "sometimes" is used.✅
 * A citation for "The downtown section of O Street is Lincoln's primary bar and nightclub district." would be better.✅

Annual cultural events

 * Remove "Like in many cities".✅

Sports

 * Nothing wrong with this section but I feel that it can be expanded a bit. A brief description of the most popular sports among the locals, like the most played or the most popular can be added. Also, if any of the teams mentioned had won or reached a significantly high level in their respective competitions, it can be added as well. If there are any popular sportsperson from Lincoln, a mention would be great.✅

Parks and recreation

 * A brief explanation or description of the MoPac Trail after it is mentioned could be added.✅
 * Use Multiple images template, or more preferably, remove one of them (see below).✅

Government

 * The repetition of "agencies and offices" in the first sentence can be merged.✅
 * The image is drawn out in the "Education" section. Perhaps instead of using Multiple images, you can remove one of the two images in "Parks and recreation".✅


 * Yash!, thank you for your hard work thus far. I have reviewed and edited the remaining article based on your suggestions, especially in regard to citations. Hopefully this will make it easier for you and I look forward to continuing with the review at your own pace.  Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 00:15, 8 September 2016 (UTC)

Primary and secondary education

 * Can "Lincoln Public Schools" be linked?✅

English Language Learners

 * If we are talking about the "2015–16" year, why is "(2012)" mentioned later? It creates a bit of confusion.✅

Colleges and universities

 * The fourth paragraph can perhaps be merged since it is too small. Maybe with the sixth one, or second one? Or it can be expanded a bit with details about the popular and unique programs offered, like it is stated in the second paragraph.✅
 * The same goes for the last one. Best if these two are merged.✅

Television

 * A ref for "Omaha's other television stations can also be picked up in Lincoln with an antenna, and all full-power stations are available on cable." ✅

Mass Transit

 * It is just a suggestion, not entirely necessary. A bit of expansion could do well with this section. A few sentences can be picked up from the StarTran article, particularly the ones about the Handi-Van, some stats and so.✅

Utilities

 * Use the convert template for "200 square miles".✅
 * "by 2016"; since this is 2016, the sentence should either be updated or removed.✅
 * "Today"; use "As of xxxx" instead.✅
 * Remove "more recently" since it is too vague. ✅
 * "over the next few years"; if possible, mention by which year. Also, add "it is expected that", since one can never be absolutely certain about the future.✅

Healthcare

 * "A number"; better if there us a specific or approximate number for this. It is alright if there isn't, I just suggested. ✅

Alrighty, that should be all with the prose. I really want to apologise again for the large periods of inactivity from my side. I will get around the references by tonight. Regards,  Ya  sh  !   12:08, 11 September 2016 (UTC)

Copyvio

 * ,, please address this urgently - according to Earwig's detector, a lot of content in the article is directly copied from this source. Use the link and please write the sentences in your own words.  Ya  sh  !   17:47, 12 September 2016 (UTC)
 * , I can almost guarantee you that this was copied from Wikipedia because I typed this sentence myself:
 * "Since the opening of Pinnacle Bank Arena in 2013, Lincoln's emerging music scene has grown to the point where it is sometimes referred to as a "Music City."
 * ...it's not an exact copy from the other source, but I typed this after a report came out by 10/11-News, I believe... along with an earlier newspaper report, where people were beginning to refer to Lincoln as a music city. This section has mainly stayed the same since I began editing it years ago... it's my guess that triposo (whatever that is) copied Wikipedia, not the other way around.  In fact, the line I quoted above (the one that I typed)... I recognize what triposo has is an earlier version of what I had typed - before I refined the layout of that sentence (I wasn't happy with it initially)... I bet the history of the Lincoln article could prove that.  Otherwise, how can we keep from redoing a whole section when it was actually copied from us ;o ???~  Hanyou23 (talk) 18:00, 12 September 2016 (UTC)
 * Oh, I see., my apologies, I did not know that. In that case, simply removing Ref#109 and finding another source should be fine.  Ya  sh  !   18:03, 12 September 2016 (UTC)  ✅
 * - Hahah, I see where the conflict/confusion is ;p ! This source was added later - to fill in some of the previous, "sourceless" areas of the article ;o .  I must have come across that article earlier without even realizing what I had come across @o@ !  Will change that shortly :) ~  Hanyou23 (talk) 18:07, 12 September 2016 (UTC)


 * , again thank you for all your hard work. All items have been addressed above, so do take a look and if there is anything else that needs to be fixed, do let us know.  This process has been a pleasure. Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 22:08, 13 September 2016 (UTC)


 * Alrighty! It was great working with you guys. Thank you for being patient with me and I apologise one more time for dragging this review for so long. Passing this now!  Ya  sh  !   18:27, 14 September 2016 (UTC)


 * Thank you ! Again, it was a pleasure, and a goal both myself and Hanyou23 have worked toward to finally see realized; which I believe would not have occurred without your great review and insights.  We will continue to improve the article and invite other editors to participate in making Lincoln, Nebraska a featured article.  Cheers Gmcbjames (talk) 18:44, 14 September 2016 (UTC)