Talk:Linda Ferri

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Bzepp. Peer reviewers: NourHalouani, Sgillpe, Kaityzoz.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 00:07, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Copy Edits & Suggestions
You have written a great article! There is lots of information and the article is well laid out. I just have a couple suggestions that will hopefully help polish it.

First off, I think it would help to add some more information at the start of your article to draw people in. Try adding just another sentence or two. At the bottom of your article, you can add an external links section, with links to thing like her IMDB page or any other relevant pages. Make sure throughout your article that movie titles are italicized (like in your filmography and awards section).

In terms of grammar and spelling I have a few corrections. In the Early Life section, it should say that she "graduated with a degree in political science", not she graduated "in Political Science”. This also applies for the sentence about her philosophy degree. Also, neither political science or philosophy need to be capitalized. In the same section it says “a interview” but it should be “an interview”. At the end of the first paragraph in Early Life, it says that she “worked in the industry” but you need to specify which industry you are referring to. Lastly for that section, you need to re-word the last two sentences. The first sentence is incomplete, because I think it was meant to be attached to the next sentence. That said, I think attaching them together would create a run on sentence. Two re-working them so that first sentence can stand alone.

Under the Career section I just have a couple of edits. It should say that Ferri “ co-wrote the story and screenplay for  La stanza del figlio” (add in the for). In the last sentence under the Novels section, it seems like you are stating your own opinion about her work because there is not a citation. Add in a citation if this argument is coming from a source, but if it is your own idea I think you need to remove it.

Let me know if you need clarification on any of my suggestions! Best of luck finishing up your article!

Sgillpe (talk) 19:02, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

Editing Suggestions
This is a good start for your Wikipedia article because it describes the life and professional career of Linda Ferri in a clear, neutral, and simple way.

The different paragraphs of this text, which included the most important parts of her life, are portrayed in a clear chronological manner. Overall, the article included insightful evidence but lacked accuracy in some ways: For that, I recommend that you include specific dates, and more details in relation to her career in the cinema industry.

I especially like your addition of Ferris’ personal vision of gender gaze in script writing. Although, I suggest you include more details to better explain this quote (in relation to this article, and her career in cinema). Also, I believe that it would bring more depth to this article if you add a more detailed description of her career life in the cinema industry as a screenwriter (maybe include more information on the different places she worked at).

Lastly, in order to improve the articles’ accuracy, I would suggest you add more sources in your article. With a large variety of sources, you will have a broader point of view on the different aspects of Linda Ferris’ life, and this will help you avoid the inclusion of a subjective perspective. This is a very good article in general, and I hope my suggestions will help,

Best of luck NourHalouani (talk) 03:11, 14 March 2016 (UTC)

Editing suggestions (Kaity Zozula)
Lots of useful information! Most of the edits I have are related to clarity and structure.

Intro: If possible, it might be best to reformat the first sentence with her actual birth date/death date and the locations of each, rather than saying “born 1957”. Maybe that information is unavailable. However, if it is available, it seems like most wiki pages format the birth/death information like this: “(13 July 1896, San Francisco – 2 July 1984, Woodland Hills, California)”

“Early Life”:

I would reorganize/split up the first couple of sentences of this paragraph for clarity. Something like, “Linda Ferri was born in Rome to an American mother and an Italian father. However, she spent the majority of her childhood and adolescence in Paris, France. Ferri attended university in Paris, graduating with a degree in political science (do you know which university or the year that this happened?). At twenty years old, Ferri move to New York City to study Philosophy at Columbia University. She later graduated with a degree in Philosophy of History in Florence, Italy.”

Again, if the information is available it might make things more clear if you know the names of the universities she attended and/or what “degrees” she got where.

For the first sentence of the second paragraph it might be easier to say “In a 2012 interview with Biblioteche di Roma, Ferri states…”

Also, I think you can take out the “and not books” part and a couple of descriptors from the first sentence for increased clarity: “…even though she has had a life-long love for literature, it was cinema that provided her most vivid and lasting memories of her childhood.”

Career: I think you can take the first sentence out of the “Cinema” section. You kind of cover this in the intro sentence. If you are trying to suggest that she is more well known for screenwriting you could write: “Ferri is perhaps best known for her work as a screenwriter.”

In the final sentence of the “Cinema” paragraph, I think it might be useful to find another word to use rather than “moreover” or to take it out altogether (“Ferri co-wrote Anche Libero Va Bene…). In this context I think “moreover” sounds kind of out of place, as i feel like it is usually reserved for more argumentative or expository kinds of writing, rather than as a means of listing things. Although maybe I’m totally off-base here!

In the “Novels” section, I think finding a new way of describing her first novel could be helpful for the readers of your page. I’m having difficulty understanding what is meant by “an assortment of 25 short stories and numerous books for children”. Similarly, “the book resembles a memoir from the age of a toddler to early teen years” is a bit difficult to comprehend. This could just be me, but maybe it would be useful to provide less information and re-format the structure of the paragraph? You could write something like: “Ferri’s first novel, Incantesimi (Enchantments) is a pseudo-autobiographical fictional memoir. The novel is composed of twenty-five short stories, which chronicle the life of (name of protagonist? or “a teenage girl/boy”, “a teenager”) from toddler to teenager.” Also near the end of the paragraph “stemming form emotions” should read “stemming from emotions”.

The filmography and awards chart are great. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Kaityzoz (talk • contribs) 21:06, 25 March 2016 (UTC)