Talk:Linda Finch/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 01:05, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Initial comments
Hi I'll take this on for review as part of the WikiProject Good articles/GAN Backlog Drives/October 2020. I should be adding the review within the next 24 hours. Mujinga (talk) 01:05, 3 October 2020 (UTC)

Review
I tend to go through the article section by section and return to the lead first. I have to say I am encountering some issues early on so I will address them here and we can discuss if it is worth going forward with the review or not, since this article will need some work put it on it in order to become a good article.

Lead
To be done last.
 * Done

Early life and education

 * "Finch was born at San Antonio, Texas on March 13, 1951" - good to have a citation on this sentence in case more information is added and the current citations later on get separated away from it
 * Done


 * "telephone company" source says SW Bell and AT&T, which could be wikilinked
 * Done


 * "Highland Hills, a lower–middle–class neighborhood southeast of downtown San Antonio" - could be rephrased to avoid copyvio
 * Done


 * "man around 19 years of age" - sounds strange like this, source says 18 or 19, maybe it can be better rephrased as "young man" or similar
 * Done


 * "Finch has always believed in the importance of self-reliance and ingenuity." - that isn't written in an encyclopedic manner and doesn't really add anything to the article
 * Done


 * "twenty years old" don't see that in source
 * Done


 * bookkeeping can be wikilinked
 * Done

Business career

 * This is a big paragraph to rely on just one source
 * Done


 * "Goal-driven and detail-oriented" - not encyclopedic
 * Done


 * "who refinanced their home with a new mortgage with the proviso that if she failed in this nursing home enterprise her family would pay off the mortgage but she would lose her inheritance" - more info than in source
 * Done


 * "The loan for the business was guaranteed by a former employer from New Jersey" - does this need mentioning?
 * Done


 * "There were lawsuits tried against Finch and her businesses related to patient care and HUD financing." - this needs expansion since secondary sources are state she was penalised
 * Done

Pausing review here since I am encountering issues with the GA criteria, especially prose. As I look forward in the text I see the same issues and I am slightly concerned by what is being used for sourcing. For example the first two sections rely heavily on a local newspaper and general notability could be better established. Rather than quickfail I'm interested to see if we can work this through, but it will need some work and if that can't be done in one week it's probably better to fail this and then it can be renominated again after being improved. Mujinga (talk) 10:30, 3 October 2020 (UTC)


 * OK, no answer so I am failing this, hopefully my comments can be helpful for a renomination in future. Mujinga (talk) 10:00, 11 October 2020 (UTC)